The First One
by Vampire-princess14899
Summary: I had to find out the hard way that the first one is the worst one. So many times I almost let her slip through my fingers, I mean loving a half demon isn't natrual. I mean how can we love each other when everything about us, drives the other away?
1. Letter

Preface

Alone.

Yep, that's pretty much my life spelled out for you, if you even cared. Not that I'm complaining. I got over the pain years ago, not it's just the feeling of nothing surrounding you every day of your life.

My name? It's not very important, but if you really wanted to know it's Logan Masters. Not a bad name, but if I had chosen it maybe it would have been Spike, or something like that. Maybe not.

I'm half vampire while supporting my "lovely" father's genes of a black winged demon. It may sound very bland, but I'm far from normal. You see, I live in this world not only surrounded by nothing and creatures from my world, but humans as well. You know, the kind that act like everything is perfect and they wouldn't give a damn about you. Pretending that the world they live in is safe, when they don't even know the real danger lurking behind every corner. In a way, I pity them. To an extent of course.

If they could really see who I was, they would probably run screaming, flailing their arms wouldn't be a bad match either.

Now you may think I'm a human hater, a concept I thought I would enjoy, but someone changed the way I looked at things. No, not something. Some girl. Some amazing ,beautiful girl.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll have to start at the beginning of my life for you to fully understand how I thought. What ran through my mind when I had to walk with humans. Then trying to ignore the girl I was in love with, the girl that questioned everything about me and my train of thought. She-

Wait. There I go again. Well I'm sure by now you're on the edge of your seat, waiting for me to spill the beans, but I'm gonna be cruel to you one last time.

This is _my_ story. Not some sappy love story, though some might construe it in that way. If you want to read it, I say go on ahead. If this isn't your style, I'm sorry, but it's not my fault that my life took this turn. Or maybe you're just too much of a coward to face it, you know, the truth about life. It sure scared me when I found out I was in love.

Well, brace yourselves. It's not all happy, but it's my life. Good luck trying to survive it. I know I sure had a hell of a time trying to.

- Logan


	2. Chapter 1

1.

Being alone wasn't as bad as it was years ago, but for you to fully understand my story, I'll have to start from the beginning.

I was born in 1734, somewhere around august. I lived in Italy for s short amount of time while I grew up. My father, Atheus, married my mother, Celest. My mother was a full vampire and my dad was a black-winged demon. A black-winged demon was the fiercest thing in the world. We all had black hair, black eyes, black wings (of course) and black eyes. The last thing we all had in common was our black hearts. We bled black blood that was poison to any creature to come in contact to it. But it healed anyone of my kind.

I was some sort of royalty when it came to our family. In a place called Turin, was the Turaneon Guard. There we lived and were upheld by every demon and vampire who passed by.

When I was born I was smarter than the average three year old. And I'm talking straight away. As I was raised, I was taught that humans were there for us to enjoy. I killed without a second thought, not knowing what I was doing to myself.

But one day everything changed.

I sat in the shadows near Po River, watching the other children play in the soothing waters. Of course I could join them, but the light was irritating from the vampire in my from my mother's side. Thank god I got more genes from my father. Anyway, back to the point. A gypsy happened to be near where I was, and she had been watching me.

With an ancient spell that was so strong that it killed the woman, I regained the soul in me that was slowly fading away. Thought at the time I was unaware, I was killing on to my humanity very strongly.

As I returned home everything was different. I was always alone. I never wanted to be around people (human or demon). In ways I was starving to death until the craving became too much.

A girl that I had talked to was walking down the street that very night. The full moon shone brightly on her, making her golden hair look almost white. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Word was she was an outcast from her family for having a child before she was to be wed.

But it was the smell that first drug me to her. I could smell the small cut on her bare foot as she stumbled blindly over the sharp rocks. It was too much for me. I leaped out of my room and drained her of every last drop she had. When I dropped her pale body, I felt horrible. Though my body felt replenished, the soul I had now acquired was making me feel something I had never felt before since birth.

Remorse.

So I ran. I ran from my home, turning my back on everything I had ever put my faith in. little did I know that when I left home that I stopped aging at 17. My family did not come after me. Word reached me saying they had another son, sending pain through my heart. To have another son after the first one is for the first born to be an outcast. In my world these were the rules. With my family no longer accepting me, not that I would go back anyway, I fled south towards Rome, where I spent one hundred years of my life.

I then sailed to America in 1810, where I new country was being formed. That was what I needed. A fresh start. From the moment I set foot on that free land, I promised myself to stay away from humans. I couldn't be who I once was; a killer.

For two hundred years I lived unseen in this world. Living on the blood of animals, or sometimes purchasing pigs blood from local butchers. I went to school like a normal kid and pretended I lived with foster parents.

Right now I was living in Jacksonville, North Carolina. I currently enrolled in Northside High, right inside Onslow Country. It was a pretty big school, not nearly as large as the last high school I went to in Maine.

This is where my story starts, other than the bit I just told you. Try to follow along. I don't like repeating myself.

_____

I was Logan Masters here. I hadn't used my real name since I left Italy over two hundred years ago. I lived in a crappy Motel inn, just a few miles away from my new school, what a joy. I mean who liked school anyway? In my mind it was only for nerds, but I had to attend it. If I just walked around like a moron (which I am) people would start asking questions. It was easier to do this than to face the police, whom I hated with so much passion. Well, I hated anything with rules to tell the truth, which I never did too often.

You could understand why right? I'm a demon, the truth doesn't come out easy.

I had a job at _Play at again sports_ that helped pay the rent, which was pretty high compared to what I was living in. A stupid Motel that had bugs in it cost one hundred a month. Sure I might be selfish, but I could be living a lot better. You get a lot of interest after you technically die. I just take the money out and start a new one once I should be getting too old to be seen.

School starts in one week and I was no where near prepared. I had the brains because I had been in school for hundreds of years. I had the looks to survive, all vamps did, even half ones. And I was one heck of a runner. Though that just might be the demon in me.

I got up off the stupid, stained mattress and trudged into the bathroom. I took a quick shower before I went out in public. I reeked. Locking yourself in your room could do that to you.

I rubbed off the fogged mirror and watched my reflection. The whole 'vampires can't see their reflection' was utter bull crap. We could see just fine, but they hit dead on with the sun and holy water thing. Those stupid things still hurt me.

My black eyes watched me. I looked at my straight, jet black hair and began to comb in. M skin was a little dark thanks to my mother who was a Jamaican before she moved to Italy, they just hadn't thought of the name yet. I was about 6'10 and still growing. Black-winged demons were known for their growth spurts. There wasn't a short one alive. That may be because we killed them all, but you get the point.

We were also known for our long, black wings (and if you just know figured that out because you were stupid enough to not understand the name, you're officially blonde). My stretched out to a good 17 feet from the tip of my left wing to my right. They had some claws on the end, and you guessed it, they were black. They also, like my blood, held poison to anyone who was pierced with it. Then they would die a very painful and agonizing death. I used to like watching my prey suffer, but that was a long time ago.

I glanced at the moldy clock hanging barely by a tiny nail in the wall. We weren't supposed to hand things up, but like I said before, I don't like rules, or people who try to enforce them.

I had to move quickly before I hit the morning rush. I dropped the towel once I was completely dry and went over to my rack of clothes. A black shirt (as usual) that snuggled against my muscular body perfectly and some dark, semi baggy pants, the only kind I owned.

I shook the water out of my damp hair and then grabbed my wallet and keys while turning out the light. I unlocked my blue Toyota Prius and stepped in. I didn't really care about the recent claims about Toyota's faulty gas pedal; I liked to drive fast anyway.

It took ten minutes to get to the store, five to gather all my supplies, five to get through the check-out line, and another ten to get back home, or 'that place that is my own personal hell' as I like to call it.

I unloaded everything and laid back on the bed. It wasn't even eight o'clock yet and everything on my to-do list was done. I had nothing to clean, there was nothing on TV, and I wasn't hungry enough o go get something to eat (I figured out I could live on human food for a little while, but not forever). The only thing I had left to do was read.

The latest books on that Twilight series was over rated. Vampires didn't fall in love and vampires weren't even like that. Sparkling in the sun, god it made me want to gag.

All I had left were thrillers and the one I currently was leafing through was _Under the war_, by Joseph Wells. It was a pretty good book involving the Civil war. It even got better when it had some stories about creatures sneaking up on them on the night and sucking their blood. It was nice to know what people thought of us, after all I was there, I was just trying to protect them from a lone, thirsty vampire.

In two hours I had the book done, from start to finish. It wasn't that long; only about seven hundred pages. Harry Potter had more than that.

Still having nothing to do I got back in my car and drove to the nearest mall. I didn't like being around humans, but I had to be seen. That way someone could recognize me at school. I knew some students were here; who wouldn't spend their last few days at the mall? Besides me.

Luckily for me it wasn't too far away. I drove quickly and made it there in about fifteen minutes. I parked in a front space and shut my door. I walked into the mall and was surprised how big it was. It had a fountain in the middle that had four layers, each as it got higher, they got smaller. Teens filled every tiny little space because it was so crowded. Stores were having going back to school sales and Starbucks' was busier than I have ever seen.

I shrugged and squeezed my way through dozens of people and finally bought my mocha frappe chino and sat at the seat in the corner of the store. Alone.

I drank every few minutes just watching when a group of kids came in. one girl had mahogany hair and was taller, for a girl at least; one boy held her hand and was shorter than me, but from the looks of him, he looked like a football player. The tow other girls were blonde, but one had the most perfect face. She was pretty pale, but her freckles made her look a lot more tan: a vampire; the other boy was blonde as well, but he too looked like a football player and was holding the vampire's hand. The boy was human.

They sat down a few tables away from me and I couldn't help but stare at the girl with mahogany hair. Now that I could see her better she had the clearest blue eyes, a clear face, a gorgeous smile, and she was so beautiful.

The girl's boyfriend (I was guessing) put his hand on her back and I watched it slide lower and lower.

"Jeremy!" the girl squeaked. She pushed his hand away from her, grinning. Jeremy winked at her.

"Oh come on, Blake." he said.

"Touch her and see what happens." the vampire almost hissed.

"Oh shut up, Amanda." one of the blonde kids said, laughing with Jeremy.

"Kyle, if you know what's best for you, you would shut up." Amanda's voice was threatening. Kyle immediately shrank back and gave up like that. The others laughed while Blake thanked her.

"What are best friends for?" maybe they couldn't see it, but I knew her smile was fake and her words were a lie. There was something familiar about this girl, but I just couldn't figure it out.

I watched them with a look of disgust on my face, knowing I was going to find out about Amanda on Monday.

Even as I passed them and I felt their eyes on me, I couldn't get rid of Blake's face in my head.

Stupid humans.


	3. Chapter 2

2.

The sun was warm against my bare skin. My wings were spread out beside me, pumping up and down to keep me in the air. I was high up enough that people would think I was a bird, but it was also a little difficult to breathe of here. Plus, the sun sent weird tingles through my body. I wasn't supposed to like the sun, but then again I wasn't supposed to like anything.

I watched the sun rise about an hour ago when I first took off from the parking lot. I was always a very early riser, but last night was not a good sleeping night. The images of that girl, Blake, kept popping in every dream I had. Why did this human have to be so annoying when I wasn't even around her? What made her so special?

Knowing it was almost time to go to school-something I had been dreading for days now-I began my slow descent, not really wanting to. Being up in the sky made everything fall into perspective. I was free here. I wasn't hunted and I wasn't ridiculed, by humans or my own kind. Here I was just Logan Masters, the half demon kid who had wings. There's a headline for you.

My feet touched the ground out in the trees where no one could see me. I tucked my wings away in my skin. I could just barely feel them brush against my skin as I walked closer to the Motel. None of our kind could completely hide them, but it was close enough. As long as I didn't join the swim team or anything I should be fine here.

But what about cross country?

I loved running just as much as I loved flying. It was something I was very good at, let alone free to do what I wanted at it. How would I change in front of the guys with feathers protruding from my backside? Maybe I should tell them I was gay so they wouldn't want to change in front of me anyway.

I smiled as I unlocked the door to my room. I breezed through the shower again like yesterday morning and looked in the mirror. Again I saw my reflection, something that always struck me as odd.

If someone just looked at me, they would know I was different. The way I walked, how graceful I was, my eyes, and then if I ever started bleeding-something I very rarely did because hardly anything can puncture my skin-what would I say about my black blood?

I could see it now. _"Oh sorry. When I was a kid I dyed my blood black. Hope that doesn't bother you." _Or better yet. _"Yeah, I'm half demon. You got a problem with that?"_ they most certainly would. What really entertained me was I wouldn't ever say that, but at the same time I would. Are you following me? I wouldn't risk me being seen like this or exposing our world. My family would kill me if they ever found out, and believe me they have ways of finding out. Some of which still made me shudder. But I could see myself saying those things. I wonder how they would react to it.

I combed my black hair down a bit, then shook it again, making it look messy. Something that always irritated my mother. She hated it when she would comb my hair and then I would just mess it up when she left the room. Maybe I still do it out of habit, or maybe I just like irritating her. Both made perfect sense to me.

I slipped on another black shirt that clung to my skin and another pair of black pants. I don't think I evened owned another pair that was different from these. It struck me as ironic that black was my favorite color.

I tied the laces to my tennis shoes (which were black btw-did I really just say btw?) and then grabbed my black jacket. I snatched up my keys and my wallet and put them both in my back pocket. I grabbed my Black iphone and put it in my other pocket.

What? I told you I could live better than this. I just chose to be like this. But hey, why not have a cool phone?

Driving there took longer than normal. It was a busy Monday morning and lots of students were on their way to school, just like me. Ads were posted everywhere I went. _Back to school sale _or _Are you ready for August 21__st__?_ Well ready or not, here it is. And I it looked like I wasn't the only one who hated it.

Kids in every car around me had some sad faces on. Some were trying to rock to some last minute music while some nerd were trying to finish homework we haven't even been assigned yet. Am I allowed to say nerd again? Ha! Of course I am.

I parked way in the back of the parking lot. There was no way I was going to get in a hassle with these humans over stupid parking place when it didn't even matter if I had to walk a few feet further. Ten feet or a hundred feet made no difference to me.

I put my hands in my pocket after shutting the car door and began to make my way with the other students. The smell was overwhelming. I could hear each heart pumping in their chests, sending blood through their veins. It was taunting me, trying to make me dance to a song I hated. I hated everything about the way humans made me want them. The way they made me crave their blood. Right now I didn't know whether to curse or thank the gypsies for making me this way so I wasn't a careless bloodsucking monster.

I walked to the counter of the administration office, trying so very hard not to snap necks as I went. For what felt like hours I made my way there. It felt like a victory when I reached my destination without killing a single person, besides my pride.

"Can I help you?" a lady asked. She was clearly at least forty years old, but hey I couldn't judge. I was old enough to be her great-great grandfather. Maybe more, but I didn't feel like thinking that hard. Her hair was starting to turn gray and some areas, but I knew she wouldn't be able to notice it yet. I had better eyes than anyone here.

"Yeah I need my classes." I said through clenched teeth, trying not to breathe. She looked offended by the way I talked, but I would rather have hurt her feelings that ripped her heart out, or at least the good side of me would. The demon in me was still raging that I hadn't killed her yet.

"Name?"

"Logan Masters."

She began typing my name in and then a paper printed from the printer in the corner. Another woman grabbed it-clearly she was much younger than her, but not young enough to be a student-and walked over to me. I could see it in her brown eyes that she found me attractive.

"Here." she said. Normally any guy would have gone after her. But being me, I was anything from normal. Yes she was stunning, the kind of beauty you could only find in an older woman, but I had no taste for her. So naturally I couldn't give her any idea that I was interested. Better to cut cold turkey than to lead her on, most likely causing her death in a few short days.

"What ever." I said coldly before turning and walking away like a brat. It had to be this way. I didn't belong in their world and they definitely didn't belong in mine.

I heard her huff as I opened the door and a small smile came to my lips. I quickly closed it after I felt my fangs growing larger. I had fangs all the time, but they looked normal. I've even seen humans with teeth shaped like fangs. It shouldn't attract any attention.

I glanced at my paper and found my first class: Calculus 2. I must have brought my records from my last class because this was a college course, but if they had it I was sure I would be surrounded by nerds who had no lives.

I sat in a seat next to a boy who looked normal, but those were the kinds you had to keep a look out for. He had chocolate brown hair and green eyes. He was shorter than me, but with my size, most people were. You know unless you were a skilled basketball player. The best part about this kid was he was decent looking (no nerdish features is what I mean by that. I'm not gay.) and he was human. He looked about the same age and I wasn't getting any weird vibes from him. Maybe this year wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Hey." the kid said, looking toward me for the first time. Most people ignored me because I gave off some sort of creepy vibe, but that was natural. I was a predator to their kind, they should be afraid.

But he, obviously, wasn't very afraid of me. Of maybe he was just really good at hiding it. "Hi." I replied, trying not to sound anti-social.

"I'm guessing you're the new kid?" he asked.

"You don't get a lot?"

He looked down. "Not anymore."

I wanted to ask what he meant by that, but he spoke to me again.

"I'm Justin by the way. Justin Young." Justin put his hand out, ready for me to shake it. For a moment I thought about rejecting it and just ignoring him for the whole period, but that wouldn't be good for my rep. it was the first day of school. I didn't need any enemies this early. Maybe later in the year.

"Logan Masters." I shook his hand.

Justin nodded and turned his attention to the teacher who just walked in.

He was a older man. He looked more like a professor in college, but age and size didn't really matter to me. I was probably over ten times smarter than him, so I wouldn't have to listen.

"My name is Mr. Decker. I'll be your teacher this year for Calculus." he said in his monotone voice.

"No duh." Justin whispered to me. I immediately decided that I liked Justin. He was like me, well I mean if I was human he would be like me.

I smirked and looked away while he passed out the books.

Mr. Decker went on. "Some of you juniors who think you can take this class may think you can just glide right through it, but be warned. Half of you will either drop out or fail because of how difficult this may be. I won't let some of you skim over the rules and getter better grades just because your future may depend on it. I would say choose a different career." he slid two books over the table and Justin grabbed one.

"I also won't tolerate any sly remarks, Mr. Young." he looked over at Justin.

We both were trying really hard not to laugh.

"Won't let it happen again, sir." when Mr. Decker turned around he saluted him with a stupid grin on his face. This was the best high school I think I've ever been in.

"Turn to page seven and begin looking over…" I let his voice fade out. I had already had this book last year and I knew it by heart. I could copy down all my old homework and tests, while still being able to answer anything Mr. Decker threw it me. This is how I survived school repeatedly. I might even let Justin copy off me a little bit, but if he made it this far, he shouldn't need my help.

And that statement was true enough. Mr. Decker was still talking about the lesson and Justin was almost done with the homework. Justin caught me looking at him and smiled. He shrugged and put the paper away after I nodded that I wouldn't need his help.

After forty five minutes of doing nothing, but trying to drown out the teachers awful voice, the bell finally rang. There was shuffling of papers and chairs scraped the floor, but I made no sound as I got up. Justin left without another word to me as I went to my locker. I spun the combination and put my book away. I took out the homework from last year and copied it down before one minute had even passed.

I shut the locker door and almost ran into a few students. I walked quickly, avoiding the eyes that I knew were looking at me. I opened the door to the chemistry lab and sat down at an empty lab table. People avoided sitting next to me so at first I thought I was going to be alone here, when the vampire, Amanda sat next to me.

She said nothing at first, but after a minute or two she turned to look at me. "Hello."

I didn't know what to say at first so I just sat there like an idiot, something you see very often.

Amanda smiled and brushed her blonde hair over her shoulder. "It's ok. I know what you are and I'm sure you know what I am too." well she was blunt.

I nodded.

"Your Logan aren't you?" she smiled, I could see two small pointed teeth that looked harmless now, but once they got bigger you would say something completely different.

"How did you know?" I asked, perplexed that she would know. I mean I was pretty famous with my family, but people forgot about me after WW2. It was very rare when I saw someone of my kind know who I was, let alone see someone of my kind. Most of us didn't mingle with "trash" as some called it.

"I'm good with faces. Don't you remember me?"

After I stared into her green eyes for a minute it all came back to me. This girl was the vampire I used to hand out with. My brothers would always tease me about her because I liked her, but I forgot about her after I left.

"Now that you mention it I do." I smiled in recognition. "How could I forget the constant teasing I got from my family ever since I met you?"

Amanda laughed, a very familiar sound to my ears. It was my favorite thing to hear when I was back home in Italy. Something I needed to hear everyday. It was like my own personal drug.

We just smiled at each when another voice spoke to us.

"Amanda, quit flirting. You're dating Erik, remember?"

It was Blake.

And she slid another chair right in between us.

Oh god.


	4. Chapter 3

3.

Lets see if I can recall this next few minutes without killing myself. I can't believe how much of a jerk I was…

At that exact moment our chemistry teacher walked in. she was young, and I mean young. She looked like she was fresh out of college. Her blonde hair was all the way down on her sides and it was so shiny. Her warm browns eyes just seemed to make you melt and the way she curved…whoa hold on here. Sorry, total guy moment. Just forget I said that.

Anyway she walked in and immediately looked at Amanda. "Amanda why don't you get your own seat?" her voice was very pleasant as it sent shivers down my side.

Blake about moved, but Amanda just winked at me and strode over to a seat next to a black haired boy who I presumed was Erik. So that left me all alone with Blake. Great, I mean just great. Here I thought this day was going to go so well and here I was stuck with the devil. Why don't you just plunge a stake through my heart and let me be done with this?

Blake smiled and turned to face the teacher without one look at me, thank god.

"Ok my name is Miss Chapman for those of you who don't know me." she smiled towards me so I guessed I was the only new student. If only Justin had told me why no one ever came here anymore.

"Open your books…" I drowned her out just like I did with Mr. Decker and thought back to anything I could get my hands on. Of course Blake didn't seem to be listening either for she was drawing on a scrap piece of paper. I glanced over and saw her drawing something that looked like a forest, but it was really good. She got every detail in there just right and she wasn't even using anything to copy.

I hadn't noticed Miss Chapman stopped talking until Blake looked at me. "You need help?"

I stared at her blankly. "Excuse me?"

"The homework." she smiled. "Do you need help?"

I looked back at the board and noticed she wrote the homework down. I flipped a few pages in my book and looked at the problems. It was easy. The kind of stuff I could do in my sleep. I quickly wrote down the answers.

"Guess not." she leaned away and began doodling again.

The silence continued. This was easy for me. I had lived on my own for years, never having anyone to talk to. Alone was something I could handle, something I could grasp. Being with people? Not so much.

"I'm Blake by the way." Blake didn't take her eyes away from the table as she spoke. I looked at her and decided she wasn't worth the trouble of talking to.

Then I said the most stupid thing a guy could ever say. Or maybe _not_ say because I ignored her. She looked at me, waiting for my answer.

"Did you hear me?"

"Yeah. Am I supposed to care who you are?"

She flinched. When I looked back at her I wanted to take those words back. She looked to delicate and fragile, yet so strong. Blake glared at me then returned to her work.

The silence drug on, making every second feel like hours. I could feel Blake's very presence. I could smell her and let me tell you, it took every ounce of effort I had not to kill her right here. Maybe it wasn't wrong to say that after all, but I still wished I hadn't hurt her.

The bell rang and Blake walked out with Amanda without a backward glance. I followed after her when I snatched the books off the table, including the one she must have left from her trying to get out as quickly as possible.

I caught up with her and she was in her locker. "You forgot this." I said stiffly and walked away. I could feel her eyes on me, but at this moment I didn't care. That is until I figured out my locker was in the other direction so I had to walk back.

I passed her talking to the same blonde guy I thought was Jeremy. He was talking to her and by the expression on her face I knew she was talking about me and out little confrontation.

"He was just so rude." she said exasperated. Blake looked up at Jeremy and put her hand on his that was resting on her locker. "I don't even know why." her voice dropped as she looked around. I u ducked into the shadows by the snack machine so she wouldn't see me.

"I'm sorry, Blake. If I'll see him I'll make sure he knows not to mess with you." Jeremy picked up his fists and pretended to punch something beside him. I stifled a laugh. Yeah like he could actually do something to me. I felt the urge to walk over there right now, but I didn't knowing I would start a fight. I would win, but I wasn't so sure I could hold back enough for him to walk away. Just seeing his hand on her waist sent fire through my limbs. I didn't understand it then, but I soon would.

"No!" Blake laughed and reached for his hand again. "But thanks anyway." she kissed him on the mouth quickly and called out to Amanda for her to wait. Blake walked away. Her brown hair trailing after her. I didn't realize I had been staring until I heard the bell ring faintly. I sprinted to history and I sat down before the teacher was even in there.

I sat at the empty table in the back, which suited me just fine. It gave me time to think about what just happened.

So Blake thought of me as a jerk. I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. I wanted to say good, but the feeling I had after watching Jeremy touch her…it made me second guess myself. What was so special about this human? Why did she make me act this way? It wasn't love, I knew that. I felt nothing for this girl. It still doesn't explain my reaction. Sure I've been mean before, but since when was I so harsh?

It was better this way, I agreed with myself. Blake would be safer away from me and I would be better alone. It was the way it was supposed to be. I didn't belong there and she didn't belong here, but some part of me wished I could be with her.

I would have to cut that part out and throw it away, but maybe later. Right now I was still waiting for our history teacher…I checked the sheet that all the names and classes on it. Mr. Hawkins. He was an old war veteran, but I didn't know from when.

Five minutes, then ten minutes and he still hadn't shown, but it wasn't my job to worry. He probably just got caught up in a meeting like so many others, or he's so old that he even forgot that he teaches. Yeah, that'll be the day.

I shifted in my seat, hoping to help the situation with my back. Over the summer I grow so used to be alone (surprise, surprise) and I normally have my wings stretched out all the time. Now I have to keep them folded up for the better part of the day and it's not fun, let me tell you. They aren't meant to be this way, but if they were out all the time it also wouldn't be good. It's how we blend, but that doesn't mean we have to like it. Stupid, I don't know. What ever the hell made us. It would have been better if they didn't, but I can't complain now.

So to get by this long class period I thought about home.

Back in Turin we lived in this grand castle. It's very cliché, I know, but it was home for quite some time. The castle had longs windows on the outside and plant boxes on every window sill. My mother loved to watch the flowers grow. Our house was a little circular, but over more to the left it had more corners. The pillars stood in front of the house, winding up and down like water. You had to walk up like one hundred stairs just to get to the top. That was for protection purposes.

The lawn was big. There was a giant fountain in the middle of the green grass and then more gardens for my mother. Atheus always loved to make her happy, but his son was a different story. Anyway she planted many trees which helped with the oxygen, seeing as we don't get a lot of it without blood.

Oh and you guessed it. The house, the water, the plants and trees were all black. My sister, Lily, had a thing for being able to warp and change things.

Inside it was grand. When you first walked in you were greeted with many different sights and smells. Darius, my brother, would make these scents and put them in jars all around the house. The spices not only smelled good, but some believed the spells enchanted in them would protect us, not that anyone would dare oppose to the Council, Guard, what ever you want to call it.

The stairs would wind up on either side, but they led to different places. You see on the right was the living space. Up there was followed with rooms and other crap I don't care about anymore. But to the left, well when I was a kid this was my personal favorite. This is where we had the "guest rooms". Inside this little area was every torture device known to man, and then some. I created quite a few myself, seeing I had a gift at it (Everyone in my family had a unique gift. Never the same thing twice.). I had fun with the people who ignored the rules or intentionally disobeyed them, but I didn't care much for rules as I've said before. I was only concerned about what method will I use next, or who will die today.

I was a rotten child, but I guess to my family I was the good one.

Until later that is. You see being the firstborn, I had a lot to live up to. I would run the Council (or guard if you persist) with my father. I would find a mate and she would reign with me. And heaven forbid if my father dies (and I say this sarcastically) I would be the top dog around here. But after I took off Darius took my slot, but it wasn't easy for him. You can't just take someone's place. To have to earn it. Even after hundreds of years, I doubt he's earned it yet. No wonder he's so mad at me. Being firstborn isn't all days at the beach.

My other two brothers were Scott and Terry. They loved my sister Lily not only because she was the only girl and they swore to protect her, but if they got on her nerves, well she could produce some black stuff from her hands, though I've never felt it. I was her favorite, she even told me so before I left. She said she'll always love me, but I don't know how corrupted Atheus had made her.

Now I'm not saying my family are bad people. In fact I still love them to death, but I just couldn't live that way anymore. When I tried to tell them they didn't quite understand. And I was young and irrational. I didn't know what I was doing, but this soul ruined my life, but at the same time it has saved it. Talk about your own worst enemy.

The town around it was pretty too, but nothing like my home. I never fancied any girl, and just to let you know I hate that term. I sound all British. God I hate British people and I don't even know why. Anyway, back to the present and the sane part of my mind. Sure most were pretty and it wasn't that no one liked me, in fact I almost got too much of it. I say almost because…well I don't like to go into detail for that rough (and I say rough _very_ loosely) part of my life, but I was a total guy. And when I was drunk…well lets not revisit that shall we?

Yeah that was my old home. Sometimes I thought about just packing my stuff, going back, and begging for forgiveness, but I wasn't stupid. If they didn't want me then I wouldn't go back. Not the Celest hasn't tried to get me to come back, but only Atheus would be able to. If he wants his son back then I might think about it. Until then I was stuck here, not even saying I would go back even if he did ask.

I looked out the window and watched the birds flutter around, trying to get the most of what little sun they have left. Soon it would be too cold for me to fly. That's a black time in my life, and yes I get the pun. Without flying its like part of me dies away. I know that sounds a little…oh shoot what's the word? Oh forget it. I know it sounds little too over the top, but its true. You try being a part of the sky and then have to be grounded for a few months. It's not pleasant.

Mr. Hawkins hadn't showed up for the class so we all left our first day of history a little confused. It didn't matter to me. I still had one class left before lunch and if I was very lucky I wouldn't see Blake until the very end of the day. I wouldn't have to confront her or have to bear her little death stare that had absolutely no affect on me, but I can't lie about it. It crushed my heart to see her so hurt and angry.

_Oh shut up!_ I told myself. Get over her and move on. Get some of that lucky Irish all over you and grab a lucky penny or what ever.

But since when was I lucky?


	5. Chapter 4

4.

I checked my schedule again. It said I was supposed to be in study hall right now, but as I checked the room I was supposed to be in, I noticed it was empty. The bell rang and I was late, but the class should be here. Did they change it on me? Great, just great. God I hate school.

"Its in the library with Mrs. Wellman." a familiar voice said. I spun around to see Amanda beaming at me. She looked gorgeous as always and her beauty was still able to take my breath away. She caught me staring like always and winked at me. "Come on." she grabbed my hand and walked with me to the library.

Of course it was full of books, but this place was different. Normally school libraries had boring books that were only used for school reports and such, but this place was amazing. I found every copy of Stephen King and J.K Rowling. There was a whole section full of thrillers and mysteries while other rows were stocked with Nicholas Sparks. He was a good writer I just didn't read many love stories, I was more into a blood bath and war. And look right over there in row five. I saw books of war mysteries and history. I think I might be in heaven.

Ok this school didn't totally suck.

Amanda took me over to where some of her friends were. She sat in the seat next to a guy I recognized as Kyle while I was stuck staring at the empty seat next to Blake. I mean I might as well have guessed it because there was no way I could ever get my way for one day.

I sat in it grumpily, but it made my mood worse to know that Blake didn't like to sit next to me either. It was clawing at my heart, but like I could say anything, besides it was my fault. I made a rude comment to her and now I was feeling the wrath of a simple human girl.

"Guys this is Logan." Amanda said simply. Everyone at the table looked up, including Blake. I tired to avoid her stare, but I found myself staring in her beautiful crystal blue eyes. I smiled and she looked away quickly, her face flushed. I could tell what was going through her mind. She probably thought I was bi polar. I wouldn't be surprised if I was.

"I'm Kyle." the blonde next to Amanda took my hand and shook it.

"Jeremy." the other blonde spoke. I looked at him to find a hostile glare in his eyes. His eyes would dart between Blake and me and I couldn't help but smile in return.

The two girls I saw in Star Bucks said their names as well: Tiffany and Jenna.

The kid with black hair was Erik so I wondered why she was holding Kyle's hand. After a moment of thought I didn't care anymore.

"I'm Joe and this is my brother Aaron." I nodded at the brown hair boy who looked like a football player as well. The other one had big muscles to match as well, but it was the features that these boys had that caught me off guard. They reminded me of my brothers.

"I'm Blake." a soft voice came from beside me. I saw her blue eyes looking at me with a sudden weariness that frightened me. Was I that scary? As I looked at everyone I could see that I intimidated all of these people, even the guys.

"Nice to meet you, Blake." I said calmly, trying not to show the affection I was growing towards her, even though I wouldn't admit it. She seemed shocked by my nice answer. She blinked and looked back at her papers. I sighed. I might have just ruined everything.

"So now that we got all of that in order." Amanda smiled at me. "Did you hear about…" she went on into some gossip about what she was wearing or who that guy thought he was, or even who the sexiest guy was in the school.

"I think Logan fits into that." Jenna said lustfully. Did she really just say that?

Blake snorted. "Yeah, he'll fit into that when I go bald." her laugh was followed by Jeremy, who couldn't stop watching me like I was about to throw a bomb of some sort.

I smiled wistfully as the discussion went back into full throttle.

"Did you see Justin today in English second period? I mean talk about a dork." Aaron snickered, giving Joe a high five, again reminding me of my brothers. For some reason I had the urge to go and ask Darius for forgiveness, but it wasn't my place. Besides the urge came and went and I was stuck listening to them talk about Justin Young, the boy I actually became friends with.

"He started laughing at a joke he made while nobody else got it. I think it was something about Star Wars." now Kyle and Jeremy were listening intently. Even I was getting wrapped up in it.

"He was always a nobody when it came to this school. Remember when he asked out Blake and Jeremy gave him a nose bleed?" Kyle chortled and pounded on Jeremy's shoulder. "Good times man, good times."

"Shut up." I said, glaring at Kyle.

He blinked. "What did you say to me?"

"I said shut up, moron. Or do I need to spell it out for you?" I scowled at each of them, including Amanda. "You think its funny to make fun of him? It's people like you guys that make high school a living hell." I pushed myself away from the table. I looked at each of them, hoping fear entered into everyone of their nerves.

Jeremy grabbed my arm.

"Let go." I warned.

Jeremy smirked. "You think you can talk to us like that, pal? Well you got another thing coming." I saw him arm wind up to throw a punch. I quickly twisted his arm around and if I pulled it more it would have broke. "Ouch! Let go!" he whimpered, cursing with every breath.

I let go.

Jeremy dropped to the ground and his other friends got up, ready to come at me. I smiled, also ready to take them on. They had no idea who they were dealing with.

"Jeremy, stop them." I heard Blake say, trying to grab his attention. It was those few words that made me shut down. I knew she wasn't worried about me, but her so called friends she hung around with.

"What ever." I walked away quickly and jogged into the hallway. I went upstairs to grab my lunch money, almost hoping Kyle and Joe would come around the corner asking for my lunch money. Of course that was old school, but I would still be able to have a laugh as I slammed their faces into the wall.

The bell rang five minutes later and I found myself just leaning against my locker, watching other kids scramble for their lunch. I almost left this school and just left this town, but if it weren't for Blake I would have and hour ago. Or maybe it was just Justin, but I knew I was lying to myself.

The group passed me without a glance, but I knew that they knew I was there. Blake looked at me quickly, but her eyes darted away as they met mine again. She grabbed Jeremy's hand swiftly and began to tow him along to her locker.

How I wished I could follow her.

I walked down the hallway and made my way into the line for lunch. I grabbed a slice of pizza and walked into the large cafeteria hall. And when I say large I do mean it. The room was full of circular tables full of kids already munching on food. I could see each clique as I passed every table. The jocks, the pretties, the nerds, the preps, the emos, the Goths (and there is a difference between Goths and emo's), but I saw no popular group. Mostly you could recognize them by the way people look at them, but there were no wandering eyes that wished they belonged to "that" group.

That is until Blake and her friends waltzed in. I saw everyone look up and watch with wonder as they took their seats at an empty table, each ignoring the people they passed. So they were the top dogs around here, though it didn't surprise me. How cliché that the football star was dating a pretty, rich girl.

It made me smile that I just pissed most of them off. Well at least I thought I did until Amanda waved me over.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Kyle whispered to Amanda, who elbowed him in the ribs, silencing him.

"Hey." she smiled.

"Hey, Amanda." I replied taking a seat next to her. That Erik kid was giving me a look that meant back off, but I knew he wouldn't enforce it after what he saw a few minutes earlier.

"Do you two know each other?" Kyle asked, clearly seeing the chemistry between us.

"Old friends." I winked at her this time. She smiled at took a bite of her food and forced it down. We both laughed at our revulsion for the food.

We sat in silence for a little bit, just eating. Well the others were eating, but Amanda and I barely touched our food. We made our own little silent agreement that we would go out for dinner later. Its been a while since she's flown with me, I might have to remind her what it was like.

A finger snapped in front of me.

"Huh? What?"

Jeremy grimaced. "I asked you where you were from?" clearly he was doing this for a conversation starter because I knew he already hated my guts. When I looked around they all had their eyes on me, well everyone but Blake, who looked like she could care less.

"Italy. I moved here after my parents died." that caught their attention. When me and Amanda looked at each other she didn't say a word. We had to stick up for each other in this world. If one is found out, then the rest are going to be found as well.

"I'm sorry." Tiffany said, sounding not so sorry at all. "I have shoulder to cry on if you need it." she smiled seductively.

"No thanks, Tiffany." I said a little too fast. She frowned and looked at a smiling Jenna. Too bad they didn't know what would happen if I actually got involved with them or if their necks got too close to my teeth.

Blake just sat there and watched the girls try to flirt with me, with just our right disgust. Like she didn't know why they would even try. Like I wasn't good enough for any of them. I knew I wasn't good enough for her, but hell, I didn't want her anyway. I was a loner for life, something I understood after I left Amanda.

At that moment Aaron sliced his finger open with a knife and muttered "Shoot" without realized the danger he just put himself in. I grabbed the seat of my chair and flung my leg out to hit Amanda. Her head snapped at me and I knew she was holding her breath.

A disaster was avoided, but for how long? Will the next time be worse? What if I couldn't hold her back or she couldn't restrain me. I was stronger than her after all.

I shoved away from the chair and walked briskly out of the cafeteria. I had to get away. As soon as I slammed open the door of the lobby and was well hidden by trees, I snapped my wings out and began my ascent. Boy did that little sentence sound religious.

I flew hard and fast, hoping top get away from this place, to get away from Blake. Why I was so obsessed with her I had no clue, but that was another lie I kept telling myself, for now I knew it was true.

And whether I liked it or not-and trust me I could have lived my whole life without it-but I was in love with Blake Winters.

And boy did it suck to know she hated my guts.


	6. Chapter 5

5.

I almost broke the door to my room. I smashed it open and yelled. I pushed anything I could get my hands on, on the ground. Covers, mirrors, clocks, pictures, anything. This angst wasn't to anybody but me.

Why did I have to go around and fall for a stupid human girl? What made her so special to me? I've seen hundreds of women, all who wanted me, and here I go choosing the one who's most difficult to get. Well it was my fault, but that's beyond the point. My mind was racing, but it only said one word, but it was enough to make my head throb.

_Blake_.

That's all it took because the moment I envisioned her face I was powerless. The first girl I ever fall in love with and I have to go make a complete jerk of myself and drive her away. Its better this way, I just know it, but that doesn't mean it still hurts.

First day of school and I bet I already have a detention for running out. I flung myself back onto the bed that was already messed up. My head hurt, my back hurt, my heart hurt. What didn't hurt around here?

I had nothing to do, but stare at the wall. I memorized every crack and curve in the entire room and I was still bored. I knew where I wanted to go, but I couldn't. Home wasn't someplace I could just walk into to, but I was already stuffing my clothes into the duffle bag.

Remembering I left my car back at school I knew I would have to fly. It would give me more time to think and les gas money. I left rent money with Mac, the guy who owned the place, and walked over the street. I felt so weak, so I knew I had to hunt. There was plenty of delicious humans around, but that wasn't my style.

Entering the woods took a little more time that I expected. On foot I was pretty slow, but I shortly realized I was dragging my feet. I guess my own body was resisting to go back to the place I ran away from. Maybe I should listen, but at this point I needed some place so far away there was no chance of see Blake's face. Her beautiful, wonderful-

Stop that. Don't think about her. Think about, I don't know. How about Lily?

Lily was so kind and gentle. She had black hair like me, but she was also the most beautiful creature I think I have ever seen. She walked with such grace that it took my breath away, and I was the same species as her. Maybe it was just the female gender, but there was something to Lily that made her special to mer. Her long dark hair fell to her waist in sleek straight strips. She was shorter than me (Oh and by the way I lied about being 6'10. I'm more about 6'4. Bet you thought I was a freak huh?) but it didn't matter. There was something about Lily that made her so strong. She was just like my mother but I didn't like to talk about her.

Scott was my little brother. I remember him very faintly because he came right before I left. Of course they had Darius before I left too, but it was a little disrespectful to me. I don't know if you quite understand that, but its our laws, you don't have to. He was about as tall as me since I last saw him so I bet he's taller than me now. He always cracked me up when ever I was around him.

Terry was the same, but when you put both of them together it called for a party, when you put all three of us together it caused for some trouble. Terry and I would always play pranks and have stupid races to see who was faster, even though everyone knew it was me. Even Darius never had a prayer to catch up to me.

Sigh, Darius. Darius was…different. He always obeyed the rules, was the best son dad could ever want, blah blah blah. Sometimes Darius told me that straight to my face when ever I beat him in something, but I didn't care. Firstborn was firstborn and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

I hopped up in a branch with the balls of my feet. I stayed there and balanced for a few seconds, silent. I listened for any sigh of movement or any sound of a crushing leaf. I waited for ten minutes, absolutely still, before something caught my eyes. A wolf was rustling through the bushes, trying to get its dinner as well. I laughed to myself, wishing there was more a challenge, but not even an elephant could stop me. I leaped, attacked, then ate. It was a never ending circle in my life. Eat or be eaten was everything here.

With the power of blood coursing through my veins, I jumped into the air, unfurled my wings while being careful not to hit a tree or anything, then I blasted into the sky, leaving the limits of the ground behind me. I flew in the clouds, enjoying the sensation of the wet air around me, until I remembered where I was going. Believe it or not I was nervous about seeing my family again. More about if they are going to kill me or not, but nervous still the same.

So why not turn around, you ask? Because I was stupid that's why. The whole male population was stupid when it came to common sense and if you're saying you're not, quit lying. All girls know it, why can't we just admit it?

Stretching my wings and getting in that sweet oxygen from hunting was what I needed. The bag I held in my hand was weighing me down, but I could handle it. I've flown longer with more baggage. This would be a piece of cake, but that didn't mean it still took some energy. The flight was long and I had to stop to get more blood before I could go any farther. I was getting out of shape. Humans were changing me. I needed to get out more. Weren't those the same words Atheus said to me right before I walked out the door? Huh, they were. Weird.

I glanced around and all I saw was a vast ocean, stretching for miles in any direction. The waves bounced up and down, flowing in it's normal cycle. Fish swam underneath it, trying to survive just another day. Another hour. Another minute. The sight of those fish made my mouth water. Was I just about to go drink fish blood? Yup. Cross that off my list of things I never want to do, but I'll end up doing anyway.

I tucked my wings in and dived like a rocket towards the water. I hit the icy water with a huge splash. The fish were trying to get away, but not even they were fast enough. Yes, I was limited in water, but I found my wings came in as handy propellers.

I hunted with my teeth, grabbing anything that came into view. I felt a nip at my ankle and as I jerked around I saw the startled eyes of a hammer head shark. I smiled and then I drank that too.

Full, I broke the surface with a powerful jump from the water. I was only about ten feet in the air, but I was flapping my wings urgently, trying to dry them off before I fell back into the water. Luckily I had a gust of wind to help me sore up to my regular altitude.

I began to make powerful strokes with my wings. I felt stronger in every way now that I had eaten something. Not as powerful as I would be with human blood, but that didn't matter. I could best ten vampires at once on an empty stomach. Now you might think I'm over reacting, but I crossed that particular thing off my list a while back. Did I mention I was drunk too?

I flew fast and furiously, trying to get the image of Blake Winter from my head. Trying to erase the beauty of her mahogany hair, those blue eyes like almost looked silver in the path of direct sunlight. That laugh that sent chills down your spine, that smile that made you feel like the luckiest man in the world. Her voice that flowed like an orchestra playing the most beautiful love song, her face, the most perfect thing in the world. The way she walks is so graceful that its hard to believe she's even human. The strength of her emotion, how cute she looked when she was mad. How bad it hurt to know she hates me.

There are so many things I can say about her without really knowing her. I can't even stop thinking about her for one moment. And for you girls that think a guy can't feel this way because you never see it, well we feel this way and so much more. We just hide it thinking the less we show the less it hurts. But it hurts all right.

I smiled at an old love quote I stumbled on a few years ago: _Love is like Tug-o-war. It hurts so much to hold on, but for some strange reason you can't let go…_

How about the internet explaining your whole life for you in one sentence besides alone.

I beat my wings harder, hoping to leave the pain farther behind me, hoping that it wouldn't catch up with me until later. Mostly because I liked those feelings, even though the pain was so agonizing, it was a wonder that I'm still breathing.

Well it didn't leave me, but it left me alone for a while. I could still feel the pain back in the very deep corner of my mind, waiting to unleash myself the very next moment I thought of…of _her_.

The hours passed by slowly. The only way I knew time was even passing was by the sun. It was still nice and warm on my back, but I knew it was sometime around six, so the heat would go away sooner than I wanted it too. The sun was so-

I heard something. It was a noise of something flying through the air. Flying _fast_. And it was heading right at me from behind.

I let it think I didn't hear what ever it was and when it got close enough I zoomed upward, leaving it still flying straight. Then it came to an abrupt halt, it's eyes looking for me.

I saw who it was.

"Hello again, Alex." I said coolly. He spun around when his black eyes locked with mine. His black wings were beating heavily, like seeing me was causing him some great stress. It should. We were always enemies, but I'll always whooped his little butt.

His eyes narrowed. "Logan. I'm surprised you're hear. Come to apologize?" he hovered away from me. Good boy, I thought.

I snorted at the Black-Winged Demon. "To you? Think again." I brought my wings in again with shot towards Alex, shoving all my strength into the kick that landed in his face.

His wings faltered for a moment from the impact and he fell a few hundred feet before regaining his balance. Alex snarled and flew back at me. He twisted in the air, trying to divert my eyes so I wouldn't be paying any attention to his right hand, but it didn't work. After all I was the one who taught him that move.

I grabbed his hand and twisted it, causing it to snap, but not to break. He howled in pain as his arm fell out of socket. But he wasn't done. I have to give it to Alex, he never quits. Sometimes he needs to though. Like now for instance.

I flew gracefully over him and grabbed both his wings. Alex struggled as he tried to make me release my grip, but he was immobile. I felt his body go limp as I hit the pressure point, but I couldn't hold it forever, not with another bag in my hand anyway. I tried to go farther, but I couldn't. at that point I saw another body flying towards me, but I knew at once it wasn't a threat.

"Christoffles!" yelled, making him fly faster. When he got to me he was out of breath with a huge smile on his face.

"I saw Alex fly off like a maniac and there is only one thing that would make him this mad." he smiled. "And that would be you." Christoffles took Alex's other arm, reducing the weight on me considerably.

I looked at my best friend from ages ago. He hasn't changed much, but I knew he had gotten taller. My best friends is a Black-Winged Demon as well. He knew me better than anybody and he was the only person I truly missed when I left besides Lily.

"Why are you back?"

I looked away for a moment. "Just thought I'd visit for a while. I left in quite a hurry."

His face went sour. "You know you always were a bad liar when it came to me."

I smiled as we finally made it to Turin and when we landed I saw the other beasts look at me with shock. I saw some hurry to get help for Alex as we threw him to the ground and I saw others going to alert my parents. I only had a few more minutes of alone time before I was swarmed by my family. But I knew my father would hang back, he always did when it came to me. I also expected Darius to hand back as well.

So you can imagine my surprise when I saw Darius was the first one to reach me. He landed lightly on his feet and looked at me, as if to see if I was really there. We studied each other for a moment, just taking in that I was really back, for now anyway.

Darius hadn't changed much either. He was taller than me by a few inches, but other than that he was still the same brother I left so many years ago. A few centuries I believe. His black eyes were still black. His wings were black, his hair, I mean everything was as it should be.

I saw Lily jumping with glee in the background. Scott was trying to hold her back for a moment, knowing Darius was the hardest to get past. Terry stood beside my mother who looked like she was about to faint. And holding her hand was my father. I didn't expect him to be here right now. And I didn't expect to see a look of wonder on his face as his eyes met mine.

Darius brought my attention back to him. A few emotions crossed his face so quickly that I couldn't read them, but I knew. Darius was wondering whether to be happy, or to be mad. Whether to welcome me back or to resent me. I was about to back away when Darius smiled.

"Welcome back, brother." he said before hugging me like only a real brother could.

I was home.


	7. Chapter 6

6.

Scott could no longer contain Lily and soon enough she bounded into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist, and about knocking me over. She kissed my cheek and gave me a tight squeeze that would have killed any normal human.

"You're home!" she squeaked. She jumped down off of me and looked at face again. I grabbed her hand and kissed like I used to when she was younger. She smiled and ran back to our mom.

Celest made her way to me slowly, as if not really understanding that her first son was actually here. She slapped my face before bringing me closer to her for a hug. "Don't you ever do that to me again." she half snarled, half sang.

She moved back and I looked over my vampire mother. She had blonde hair and green eyes, but other than that she looked very lethal. Every movement about her screamed dangerous, but that was just the body. This was my mother and I had no fear of her, other than when she yelled, but what child wasn't afraid of disappoint from their mother?

"Nice to see you too." I kissed her cheek.

My brothers tackled me all at once. I felt smothered by love that I had forgotten without really forgetting. I fought back like normal, but nobody went all the way. Mom thought we would hurt ourselves.

"Welcome back, Logan." Terry said, giving me a hand to help me up, even though I didn't need it. I took it anyway. "You've missed so much."

Scott put a hand on my shoulder. "Mom always talked about you, though. Not a day went by when she wasn't standing at the door, waiting for your return." he smiled.

"A return that shouldn't have ever happened," said my father in an authorities voice. My smile vanished from my face and he strode forward. I could see the others shrink back, intimidated, but I stood my ground. "You should have never left, my son."

Those words were the best complements my father could give. They meant a lot to me, but they had to know by my small bag that I couldn't be staying long. But yet I couldn't bring myself to tell them, not yet. They just all looked so happy. I would stay a day or two, catch up, tell them I'll visit when I can, and then leave.

"I see you beat up Alex again." my mother said wistfully, her blonde silky hair blowing in the breeze. She looked so young. "You two never got along."

I shrugged and looked at his limp body still on the ground while other demon kids trampled over him like he was a rag doll. Shoot. And I forgot my camera.

"No problems," Lily said, grabbing something out of her pocket. "I always come prepared.

Oh I completely forgot to tell you. Lily can read you minds so watch out.

I smiled knowingly as she snapped the picture. "Get doubles on those. I want some." I told her. I looked around for Christoffles, but he was nowhere in sight. He must have left to tell his folks who was here. The great return of Logan Masters.

I stepped away from them a bit, looking around. This place was so wondrous I couldn't believe I actually left it. The sky was the perfect shade of blue, the grass was a rich, vibrant green, and their was laughter every where. Girls played, boys wrestled, while some of my own race flew high in the sky. I knew why they were smiling so widely. I knew how it felt to literally _touch the sky_. To feel part of something better than you are.

My family, which was the only combination of vampire and Black-Winged Demon, had the joy of having unimaginable strength that came form both species, and being able to sore with the birds. To feel the wind and the sun, to let the tip of your wings touch the ocean water ever so lightly. To feel everything tingle with life. This is was made us different. This is what made us-

I was going to say better than humans, but I couldn't. this is why I left. Being here I felt so much power at my fingertips. Yes, it all felt so wonderful, but if you let that power go to your head…humans die. Some of us believe they were made for them, but some don't realize we were once them, some of us anyway. I was born this way, but vampires were made. I know my mother feels some sympathy for them, but she also knows blood is the only way to survive. If she only knew my way.

I've told my family countless times before I left to give up human blood, but they didn't comply. At once last chance I told them it was the humans or me. They didn't understand what I meant. Either that or they didn't ant to think what it would mean for them.

I wasn't just some kid when I was here. I was strong, I was powerful, I could do things that no one else could do. Strange things. I had a way with torture, a way with the demon in me that I tried to ignore. I could sense everything inside a human, but I didn't use it. I did before I obtained a soul, but before I let the monster in me go loose. I killed countless humans, mostly girls because I had no respect for them besides my mother and sister. Well anyone not of my kind.

This place awoke that thing in my, causing it to stir. So many memories lay here in this very place. In this very ground. I could smell humans around me somewhere, I could smell the blood pumping through them at this very moment a few miles away. I wanted nothing more than to give in to it and kill fresh and drink warm human blood. I almost lunged for it, to pry the girl open and drink to my full, but something stopped me when I pictured a girl.

Because the girl I pictured was Blake.

I saw myself biting into her soft neck. I felt her moaning with pleasure as I drained her of her blood. I felt her body rub against mine during the entire process because I knew she wanted me too. I felt her soft kisses trailing down my chest. I felt her bare chest against mine as we fell together and made l-

I came to a halt. Sorry. Most of that last stuff was what the human part of me. Well mostly both because it was something I craved more than anything. I needed her. But I couldn't kill her to have her.

Lily cocked an eyebrow at me. I smiled sheepishly, shrugging my shoulders again. Before I could stop her she was away in a flash, telling my brothers what she saw in my head. They grinned at me as she ran to go tell mom and dad. And there wasn't a thing I could do about it because I knew once she put her mind to it, there was no stopping her.

"And who is this girl?" my mother told me. I saw her triumphant smile that could only mean one thing. They knew she was human.

"No one. Just a girl I made up in my spare time." I lied, hoping Christoffles wasn't around to catch me without really knowing the danger of them finding out who she is.

Lily snorted and went back to filing one of her perfect nails. They all looked back at me with smiles on their faces, even my father who never smiled.

"So the kid with a soul finally broke." Darius said, sounding like he planned on it. He nudged Scott who glared at him and gave him money. They were betting on me.

"I knew you would give in and stop that insanity you were preaching about before." my father sounded pleased.

"My son." my mother sighed.

"No!" I yelled, making them all jump. "I haven't changed! I don't drink human blood. I'm not like you guys anymore. It kills me to do it." I snapped quickly. I watching sadly as each of their smiles fell slowly. "I'm sorry, but I didn't come back here to stay. I just needed to get away from Blake." Major oops. As if I wasn't already in trouble.

"Blake? That's her? Then why were you dreaming of drinking her blood after mating with her?" Lily asked, titled her perfect head, her black eyes locked on mine.

I blushed furiously as my brothers snickered. "I was remembering the power I had here and why I left because I was giving in to it."

"Then let it have you!" my mother said, grabbing my arm. "Please stay with us. This is your home." she was almost begging. Almost forcing me to stay. I hated when she used that tone. It was so hard to say no.

"I can't." there I said it. I can't believe I got it out through my dry throat, but I did. It hurt so bad to see their faces. "This soul makes it hard. I didn't chose this." I mumbled at the end. I was right after all. I chose nothing that happened to me. I would have loved to get rid of this stupid soul and feel nothing for those stupid humans.

But at the same time I'm glad it saved me. It saved me from the cruel beast I was. Of course those were barbaric times. I bet they've changed a little bit. I hoped.

Darius shook his head. "We know you didn't, Logan, but we may have found a way to get rid of it."

His words shocked me, but I felt a small flutter in my stomach. I dreamed of this for so long. To have no soul was a dream for me since I got it. I wanted it for so long, but now to actually be able to have that wish granted…it frightened me. I'm not even going to lie about that part. How would I change? What would I become?

But I didn't even hesitate. "Take it out."

They all smiled and ushered me to the house.

________________

My family never ceased to amaze me, but I knew what I was doing. Soul or no soul, I wasn't staying here. I had to go. There was only one person that I needed right now, even though she hated me. I would kill to possess her. Not her of course, but whoever stood in my way. I was hoping after this little soul operation that I could rip Jeremy's head off. A smile touched my lips.

"Let's go." I heard my eager voice, but I wasn't aware I was talking. There was a few chuckles, but when I looked up I saw Lily's face. It was all scrunched up and sad. I saw a tear fall from her cheek.

"Don't do this," she mouthed.

What did she mean? Come to think of it I saw her sad face when I said to take it out. Did she see something? (Lily can sometimes see into the future) What thing was going to happen that made her look like that?

I saw the force and energy it took to propel the vision she was having into my mind.

_I lifted my lips in a snarl._

_Blake looked at me with intensity. I wrapped one arm around her and kissed her mouth._

"_Finally" I murmured, now that I was rid of that wretched soul that held me back. Lily was wrong. I'm glad I didn't listen to her. This is what I really and truly desired._

_I trailed down from her mouth to her neck, kissing it softly. Then I bit it. I felt her tense for a moment in pain, then relax as she felt the pleasure I could bring her._

_Before I knew it I had drained her whole body of every drop of blood Blake had. I dropped her, wiping my mouth. Now I should have been sad and sorry that I killed her, but that was my weak instinct. She was the first human I had killed for a long time. And she would be the last._

I bolted upright, scaring most of them around me besides Lily. She had a smile on her face as her vision changed.

"No!" I bellowed, make Darius drive a knife into his skin. He cursed, wiping up the blood that was already flowing from him. "I can't do this."

"And why the hell not?" my father said, putting his face all up in my grill. (Okay I just had to say that. Funny right? I know.)

I waited a few minutes, giving it a dramatic pause mostly because I knew my dad hated it.

I looked at Lily's gleeful smile. "Because I'm not a monster like you guys. I don't kill for fun anymore. Those days are over." I got off the table they put me on and I walked out of my house, barely registering I was just in my old room.

Christoffles stopped me, but I pressed on.

I turned back, snapping out my long, black wings. "Because I love her."

Then I took off without looking back.


	8. Chapter 7

7.

Okay, I know I was only there for a few minutes, maybe an hour, but it felt like a lifetime to me. Feeling the same energy that I felt years ago before I left caused something to stir, and it wasn't all pleasant. It took all my will not to revisit the memories I made. All those people I had killed, the families I had hurt, the lives I destroyed, and I think I made a few people go crazy by stalking them too. Who am I anymore? Who was I?

Ever seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Yes there is a vampire who got a soul by a gypsy. Yes I know I sound just like him, pillaging villages, killing innocent humans without a care in the world. The only difference between Angel (That's his name) and me is that I don't have a Slayer to fall in love with. I just have a normal human girl. If you don't know that's your loss. Buffy is totally hot.

There are a few differences though. I don't become who I once was by true happiness, I think. Now that I think about it I don't know if I want to figure that out. I was pretty bad. So bad I made Angel look like a…well an angel.

So I flew away, going slower than I was when I was coming here, which was a mistake. How could I expect any of them to understand? I was different and at this moment I'm proud of it. I love Blake and if I didn't have a soul, my love for her wouldn't matter. It makes me a lot more human, and I like it. I can relate to these people on some small measure, if only a tiny one.

I understood pain. I understood loss and gain. I knew about hatred, hence how I want to murder Jeremy. I knew about compassion and love, if only for a day or two. Had it only been one day? It felt like another lifetime. Like I switched realities. If you think about it, I did.

I looked down at the ocean again. It was blacker than the sky, which was dark since the sun went down. I could see perfectly, but I was still at a disadvantage somehow. I didn't know what, but I had a feeling I was going to find out some day.

The wind was blowing behind me, giving me some warm air where I could just glide. It also gave me a sense of smell behind me, and there _was_ something behind me.

Lily.

She followed me? I turned around quickly, my wings beating harder just so I could hover for a moment. I had to move to stay aloft in the air, but I've been practicing this.

And there she was. I saw her dark silhouette against the black sky. I could make out every detail on her face, though she was still ten miles out. She was coming at me with speed, but not as fast as me. I slowed down after I picked up my flying pace again, waiting for her to reach me. When she did she grabbed my hand.

She looked at me with sad eyes, but at the same time, happy eyes. I knew what she was going through. Back home she was caught between a rock and a hard place. She wanted to be with her family, but she loved me. It made my heart jump to know she picked me over them. Of course I was the only one who truly understands her and her…uniqueness? Is that even a word? It is now.

"What are you doing?" asking seemed like the only way to get a straight answer out of her, but alas, (alas?) she never was an easy one.

"Does this get easier?" she asked, motioning around her.

"Huh?"

She smiled. "I mean living on your own, away from the family you just deserted."

I looked down. "I'll tell you when I get there myself."

She chuckled, but it didn't sound right. I rubbed her hand gently, wanting to give her a hug, but I remembered the last time we tried that. Our wings got tangled up and I couldn't fly for a week. And I'm a very quick healer.

"Christoffles will show up at your front door sooner or later." Lily said, trying to flap her black wings and strong as mine. "He has to escape from home though."

I stopped, beginning to hover again. She had to fly in circles around me just so she could stay aloft. Clearly I had learned more than her and she had one of the best flying teachers in the world. I bet dad didn't care enough to train his only daughter instead of his "new" first born son.

"He can't! I'm only letting you stay because I know you don't belong there. Christoffles belongs there!" I ranted, trying to figure out a way to make him go back already. It wouldn't be easy. I knew he wanted to be with me, but to carry the burden of ripping another family apart? That's just another thing I have to shoulder.

"I'll help." she said in her normal cheery voice. "Besides, he's determined. He wouldn't listen to you unless you said that you hated him and never wanted to see him again." lily said that like it was a choice.

I opened my mouth and closed it again, glaring at my little sister. I knew she was right, and she knew it too. It was useless to try, I wasn't stupid enough to doubt that. Still one part of me wanted him to go straight home like I was his mother. In truth I was the brother he never had. Strangely he was an only child. Most demons had more than one child, trying to keep the race going I think.

"You'll have plenty of time to think."

I sighed.

About a few hours later I heard the ragged breaths of my sister. "Let's land. You need some rest." I started to go down to the nearest island I saw. I knew she wouldn't be able to keep it up forever. I had more experience with flying away and traveling places; she didn't.

"No." Lily breathed.

"No arguing." I grabbed her hand and towed her down to a nice landing spot secluded from people. I didn't know what island we were on, but it didn't make a difference. The place seemed deserted anyway.

Once she hit the ground she was out. I laughed softly as her snores picked up. I watched her chest rise and fall. I felt a sudden urge of protection over her. She would have to join my high school and if I heard _one_, just one bad comment about her, I will kill them. (And you think I'm joking, how cute.) I doubt anybody would anyway. She was stunning from head to toe. Girls might be mean, but they just wish they looked as gorgeous as my sister, they couldn't do anything.

Besides Lily can take care of herself. She has shown me that time and time again. She is so strong, but sometimes she just wasn't ever strong enough. Like now for instance. What if we were no where near any islands? What would I have done then? I would have carried her like a gentleman no matter how heavy she got. I wouldn't let her drop a centimeter.

But I know the only reason Lily was so drained was because of what she must have went through to leave. It takes courage to abandon that old home full of people you were raised by, but we could help each other. I was there for her and she was there for me.

She might even be able to give me some tips with Blake.

Normally I could "woo" any girl, but Blake wasn't just any girl. She wasn't like the other girls where all they can think about is how they look or how much weight they want to lose. She was just Blake. She was someone I wanted to trust me, sort of. There was no way I could tell her my secret. It would endanger her beyond imagine, especially now that my parents know about her.

Thinking about her for only a split second has already sent my brain into hard drive. I could literally hear it pounding. I wonder if Lily could hear it, but by the look of her deep sleep, I would say not.

You might think sleeping was the farthest thing from my wind, but thinking of Blake made me want to dream. I was very peaceful when I finally laid my head of some sand and drifted off to sleep.

Dreams came easy.

"_Logan!" Blake screamed, trying to fight Darius off, but that was far from impossible. It was even hard for me to get away from his death grip if he really meant it. And by the look of his angered face I knew he meant it._

_I sank to my knees. "Please." I begged. It looked like I was talking to the ground before I finally looked up into me brother's dead face. "Please don't hurt her."_

_Darius smiled. I heard a bone snap and then Blake's whimpers as she tried to muffle her own scream. It didn't help. I could hear every agonizing sound she was making._

"_Kill me instead, Darius, I know you want to."_

"_An intriguing though, brother, but I'm hungry." he sank his teeth into her soft, white throat. Her yells for mercy were cut off. I watched in horror as he drained Blake for every drop she had. It was the horror that held me in place, not even able to get up to save her. I don't think I could if I even tried, afraid that if I got to close to that sweet smelling blood, I might give in myself._

_He dropped her and walked away._

"_No!" I shrieked._

"NO!"

This time the words came from my mouth, shattering the horrible nightmare. I looked around, panting. I was drenched in sweat and even…blood? I must have really been freaked, but I couldn't even remember what the dream was about. Something with Blake I knew…and Darius? Or was it Scott?

I saw a dead animal carcass in front of me so I instantly leap for it, sucking deeply, reveling in the new strength it gave me for the day.

Sitting on the beach was Lily. I saw another dead animal laying by her side. When I walked over there I saw her nose crinkle.

I smelled myself. "Do I smell that bad?"

She laughed, that tinkling sound made my heart lurch. Lily was just so wonderful and perfect. It was hard to believe that this caring creature didn't have a soul of her own. It took guts to drink an animals blood than a humans.

"Thanks." she said, standing up. She took a big whiff of me. "Actually it was the taste of that blood, but now that you mention it I think you could use a bath." and before I realized it, I was being thrown into the open water by her. Well there's news for you. 'Big brother gets thrown into water by younger sister'. I loved my family. The good side of it anyway.

I saw the sun come up as me and her splashed around. We walked back up to the shore, completely drenched. We sat in the grass just where the trees almost touched us. We wanted the sun to dry us off the natural way before taking another long flight.

"Do you miss them?"

I looked at her. "I used to. Then I realized they didn't want me. They wanted my power."

"That's not true!" she sounded shocked.

"What ever. You ready? Lets go." I leaped into the air without a second thought.

We flew long and hard, not resting the entire time. When we landed on the ground near my hotel I saw someone standing on by my door.

I felt happiness as I thought some how Christoffles had made it here before me. Then my heart skipped a beat as it was too small to be him. But it was tall enough for one of my dad's vampire assassins. But as I took a step closer to see through the dense trees, my heart stopped beating.

Because at my door stood Blake winters.

Of course I should have guessed. I know you can't see it, but I'm rolling my eyes right now.


	9. Chapter 8

8.

I stopped breathing.

There Blake was, standing by my door like the perfect girl she was. Her brown hair was blowing in the breeze and it looked like her Ford Escape was smoking from the hood.

Lily grabbed my hand and towed me to the house. Her trickling laughter was loud and we walked up to my little hotel room. I saw Blake's face as she took in the beautiful girl by my side who was holding my hand. I saw her face change in a few different emotions, but nothing I wanted to see.

"You have the key." Lily said. I scrambled to get the key into the hole and twisted it. Then she looked at Blake. "She's even prettier than I pictures when you talked about her."

I flushed and got the door open.

"Thanks." Blake said and when I turned to look at her, her face was turned away, smiling.

"Come on it." I said before realizing what sate my room was in, but Blake was already walking inside. When I looked around my room was in order. "Thanks." I whispered to Lily as she laid on the bed.

"I'm tired." she said.

I turned to Blake. "Not to be rude, but why are you here?"

She snorted. " 'Not to be rude'? You've been rude to me ever since I saw you." her eyes breezed over my room.

"I'm sorry. I just don't fit in that much. Its better than having them turn on you." I smiled, thinking of Alex.

"You sure get along with Amanda." did I hear a note of jealousy on her tone?

"Old friends."

Blake shoved papers in my hand. "Those are for you."

I looked down at my missing assignments. By her posture I knew she wanted to leave as soon as possible. I tried to not show how much that hurt. "Thanks." I muttered. "You need help with your car?"

Blake looked out the door. "Yeah." then she glanced at her watch. "Shoot! I'm late for cross country practice." she looked at me impatiently.

"Sorry for burdening you with rude things." I said before walking to her car, Lily's soft snores following me. I opened her hood and smoke burst out, engulfing me.

"I didn't mean that." she said apologetically.

"You sure?"

"What is with you?" she let out in an exasperated tone. "First you be all hostile to me, then you're nice and smile at me, then you get all rude towards me. Then when I come here and once you start to sound like you care, here you make remarks like that. I don't understand you, Logan."

I looked at her shocked. Had she been holding in this the whole time. We'd only known each other a day and I've been really irritating her.

I breathed in and adjusted to look at her radiator. "I'm sorry, Blake. Its not you, I just can't really tell you. My life is really complicated." I looked at her listening, beautiful face. "I wish I could."

"Maybe your girlfriend can get you to talk."

I busted out laughing. I wiped a fake tear from my eye and looked back at Blake, who was just staring at me like I was still rude. Is topped laughing, but I couldn't hide the smile that dominated my face. "Lily isn't my g-girlfriend, Blake." I could hardly say the word I was laughing again. "She's my sister."

"What's that supposed to mean, Logan. I'm not pretty enough?" Lily voice came from inside, then I saw her body flash at the door. I put a warning in my eyes, which she ignored.

"No you are way to beautiful, honey. That's why I have to beat up Alex every time I see him." I winked at her while she huffed and went back into the room. I chuckled and turned back to the car.

Blake was smiling. I opened the jam that was in her oil and shut the hood. "Good to go." I said.

"Thanks, I owe you one, Logan. Maybe we can talk sometime and you can explain to me your life."

If you only knew, I thought. How would she react if I took off my shirt and showed her my wings hiding every so slightly in my back side? Not so well I bet.

"Want a ride to practice? I heard you were pretty good."

"What else did you hear about me?"

She ignored that. "Get changed and get back here in five minutes, or I'm leaving and you'll have to walk."

I smiled. I would beat her truck in a foot race, but there was no way I would tell her that. I ran into the room and changed quickly into some shorts and once of my old black shirts with AstroBoy on the front. Yeah I know it's stupid, but who can resist Astro? (I know I'm a geek)

She laughed at my shirt when I shut the door, but Blake didn't comment as she drove on. She parked at the school ten minutes later and opened her door. I got out of mine and walked with her in silence over to the track, which already had people warming up. Some eyes were on us and we walked up to the rest of the group, but I walked away from her. I went straight to the coach.

"Logan wait up!"

I turned to see Lily running towards me with her shorts and work out shirt on. Or was it mine?

"What are you doing here?"

"Why didn't you wake me, you jerk?"

Touché.

"Never mind." I made it to the coach who was also the athletic director for the school. "Hello."

The coach turned around. I saw a big man with muscles twice the size of mine. He was bald and had these eyes that made you want to not look at them directly. He wasn't really ugly, but I don't judge guys, but he was wearing these awesome pants-wait a minute. Did I really just say that? Am I turning gay? Oh god, please no!

"Are you are?"

I didn't flinch at his cold tone. "Logan Masters, Coach. I wanted to run with you guys."

He laughed, and so did some of the others. "You don't just decide to run, Logan. Come see me at another time." he turned away.

"I'll race your fastest runner for the spot."

That made me him look at me again. He looked like I was joking, but he nodded and chuckled again. "I'll call the nurse in case you faint. Hey Ivan! Want to race?"

A guy walked over that looked more like an adult. His hair was thick and long, about to his shoulders. He reminded me of Fabio for some reason. His leg muscles were huge, bulging from every angle. His eyes were cold as they looked over me and smirked. "Won't be much of a race, coach, but I'll do it."

People cleared as we made our way to the starting point. We each bent over, ready to go at a moments notice.

"Okay boys, ten laps. Go!"

Ivan was the fastest runner they had? I breezed by him in a matter of minutes. They probably thought I was wasting too much energy sprinting like I was in a one hundred meter dash, but soon they figured out this was my pace. I ran hard, but not too fast. I then figured out that Lily was right by my side. How did she get into this? Heaven only knows.

I wanted to race her all out so bad, but we couldn't. We would break the world record by a matter of minutes.

We got to the end of the ten laps, not even out of breath. Ivan was only on his third. He stopped when he saw me at the finish line. I looked around and everyone was staring at me and Lily. I thought coach was going to have a heart attack.

When Ivan caught up to us I tried so hard not to laugh, but of course, knowing my own self control, I failed. Lily stood there like a real lady and shook his hand. I on the other hand was too busy trying to breathe to even hear coach say I was on the team by a mile.

I smirked.

Practice was easy, for us anyway. It wasn't a work out at all. More like a really soft warm up. Not even that. We ran a few miles and then sprinted a few meters and then ran another five miles. Lily and I were always the best no matter what he put us in. Coach wondered where we have been all his life. And if that didn't make steam come out if Ivan's ears I don't know what would.

"Are you coming over?" I heard Blake ask someone. I glanced up at her voice and say her talking to Jeremy who was in a football practice jersey. I tried not to walk right up there and strangle him, but I was lucky Lily was here to hold me back, literally.

"Of course." he kissed her lips and she giggled. When she saw me looking at her she smiled. "Party at my place, Logan. Wanna come?"

I looked at both of them in disgust. How could she ask me that? Didn't Blake notice how bad it hurt me to see them together? Of course not, I was such a good actor sometimes I even fooled myself. It would be so much easier if I hadn't of fallen for her, but alas (why do I keep freakin' saying that word!?) when has that plan ever worked out?

I smiled coldly. "I think I'd rather pitch myself off of a ten story building, then go there with you."

I walked quicker, now dragging Lily by the arm s I could get out of there fast, but not fast enough.

"He's so bi-polar!" she yelled. I think she meant me to hear it, oh and she succeeded, but it still faded into my head like a soft whisper. It cut my heart into little pieces more than it really affected my head.

Lily half smiled as we walked down the road. "What was that about?"

"I just hate him!" I exploded. "I hate seeing him with her, touching her, kissing her, then for Blake to smile at me like I'm something special. Its just so frustrating."

"Logan, you are special."

I whacked her in the back of the head.

"Sorry." she smiled again, trying to keep up with my long legs. "But you know what I mean. maybe if you opened up…"

"I can't do that, Lily. Darius would be the first one to kill her if she knew."

She gasped. "I'm not telling you to spill the secret. I'm just saying to act more like yourself. She's confused and upset because she doesn't know who you are and you keep switching emotions on her. Just act like you want to be around her and she'll want to be around you too."

Why didn't I think that?

Girls are just too smart.

"Did I ever tell you I love you?"

Lily started to run a little faster. "Feel free to say that as much as you want. Oh and most people thought we were a couple."

How can they think that though? We look like twins. Like freaking Siamese twins. Put me and Terry together and it would be like Fred and George.

"I know. Its humans remember?"

"How can I forget?"


	10. Chapter 9

9.

"I'm bad at this." I told Lily, trying to tame my hair. "Besides, don't girls _like_ messy hair?"

She laughed. "Yes we do, but not when its worse than the jungle. I swear you could lose something in this." as if to demonstrate she plunged a five dollar bill in and took out her hand empty handed. I rolled my eyes as she tried to smooth out the snarls in my hair.

It was useless. I combed it down and got it straight, but it still curled at the edges when it dried. Lily gave up ten minutes ago, so I went to get dressed. Lily was sitting on the bed, watching me. I looked at her.

"Oh! Sorry." she turned around.

I dressed quickly and looked in the mirror again. Lily got dressed while I tried to put my hair down again, but I couldn't. so I shook it up, hoping Blake would like it anyway, even though she still thought I'm bipolar. Hey, maybe I am.

"Come on." Lily urged. When I looked at her I let out a low whistle. Now before you get your mind in the gutter, Lily wasn't wearing inappropriate. She can just show it off better.

She was wearing a simple white shirt and a sky blue cardigan (How in the world do I know what a cardigan is?). Her skirt was also white and frilly at the edges, twirling around her whenever she moved. She wore black leather boots that made her calves look, well amazing. Everything she wore complimented her so well. She would need to be careful, guys will chase her around like crazy.

She smiled. "Thanks. You look good too." she appraised him with her eyes. Then she frowned. "No tuck in the shirt. Logan, trust me it'll make you look nicer." we argued for a bit, but I gave in to her. Everyone always did.

When you put us together, we looked like we were related, but if you put the clothes into perspective, then we were opposites. White and black. Day and night. Girl and boy? Yes, but that's not the point.

She tossed me the keys and ran off to my car. I chuckled and walked out the door, when I saw something. I remember Blake dropping off my books, but this wasn't a text book. When I picked it up and looked at it I realized it was her journal. I clamped it shut, not even daring to take a peek.

One, Lily would kill me if I did.

Two, if there was two things a guy did was to never call a girl fat and read her diary. I planned to stay alive for a while and I'm sure Blake could kill me if she knew I read it.

I grabbed it and walked out to the car. Lily looked at me, curious, but didn't say a word. I bet she already knew anyway, but it didn't matter. I wasn't going to red it. I was going to give it back to her and apologize for what I said to her yesterday. I didn't know at this point that it would be the hardest thing to do for the day.

I parked near the front today. I stepped out while Lily sat in my car, patiently waiting for something. I stood there, waiting for her when I realized what she wanted. I sighed and went over to open her door. She stepped out and laughed at my expression. I probably looked like I was going to murder her.

A few guys stopped to check her out, then walked by quickly as I turned around. Lily walked beside me as we entered the school and instead of stopping like I expected her to, she just went with me and sat down behind me in calculus.

Justin entered with a grin on his face. He sat down next to me without a glance at Lily, but he knew she was there. It made me felt better that he wasn't going to hit on her, because if he did, I think there's a law that I would have to kill him. I mean I love my sister, but sometimes she can just get on my nerves. Sometimes I just want to rip her head off.

If Lily asks, I never said that.

First period went by fast. The bell rang before I knew it. I copied down the homework and waited for Lily to walk with me. By a quick "coincidence" Lily's locker was next to mine. Lucky me. Just kidding. Don't tell her I said that either. Please.

I grabbed my chemistry book and shut my locker. Then I remembered Blake's journal and then I had to re-do my combination. Once I grabbed that I made sure I wasn't forgetting anything else, and then walked briskly to class. The bell rang just as I got through the door and I sat down next to Blake, who avoided any eye contact with me.

Miss Chapman was already talking about something I already knew and by the looks of Blake beside me, she already knew it too. I slid the book over to her and watched her look at me, eyes wide with shock, nostrils flared in anger. Blake snatched it up, her hands moving like a cobra. I've never seen a human move so fast…

"Where did you find this?" she hissed at me, her voice barely above a whisper. Miss Chapman went on, either unaware of Blake talking, or she didn't care enough to stop us.

"You left it at my house." I said back calmly. "I thought I'd bring it back to you."

She leaned back in her chair and pinched the bridge of her nose. Lily looked across the table from beside us and mouthed "Tell her you didn't read it".

"I didn't read it, Blake."

She looked at me in surprise. Then she blinked, the anger fading away slowly, her eyes reverting back to the calm ocean blue. Her posture wasn't rigid anymore and her face looked better. She was beautiful either way, but she was even prettier when she wasn't mad at me.

"You didn't?" Blake asked in disbelief. That was understandable. It wasn't just for me. Most guys would read it, trying to get inside the girls head, trying to see how she thinks, but I didn't need to. Now I'm now saying what girls think about (And I'm pretty sure I don't want to. A girls mind is a scary place. Just look at Lily.) because I don't. its an invasion of privacy. If I had a journal I wouldn't want people looking in mine either, so it was nice to see Blake's startled face as she comprehended this.

"Pinky promise." I held out my right hand. She smiled and held out her hand. When we dropped them, I could see others looking this way, not knowing what we were talking about.

"Why?"

I blinked. "Why what?"

Her face was unreadable, like normal. "Why didn't you read it?"

"Why would I?" I countered. "It's someone's private book. I wouldn't want anyone reading mine. Why would I do it to someone else? Besides I knew it was yours and Lily would kill me if I did."

Blake laughed softly, looking over at Lily, who was nodding and smiling darkly at the same time. I rolled my eyes at her.

"And I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. It's just so hard."

Blake didn't speak for a minute, pretending to write something in her notes while Miss Chapman glanced this way. Only when she looked away did Blake finally speak. "What's so hard?"

I was going to say "Being around you", but I shut my mouth before I had time to say it. That's one of the reasons I love my mind. It helps me out sometimes. So instead I said, "My life." yes, it was lame, but I was hoping it would be enough o satisfy her without also lying to her directly.

My life was hard. Enough said.

"Oh. With your parents and all."

I looked around. "Where's Amanda?"

Blake's pose went rigid again. When I saw Lily out of the corner of my eye, she frowned. But she answered anyway. "Haven't you heard? Amanda's boyfriend, Erik, was murdered last night. She's with his family."

I didn't know what to say. "What happened?"

"Some animal attack I guess. There was no blood left so they say he's been dead all night."

Now it was my turn for my pose to get rigid. My muscles froze and locked. Mostly because I knew it wasn't some animal that killed Erik. I was pretty darn sure that Amanda had done it. But why am I so upset? She's a vampire. This is what she does, but to kill her own boyfriend? Doesn't she understand the consequences of that? She's a suspect. Even I, who hasn't hunted a human in hundreds of years, knows better than that. What was she thinking?

I looked back at Blake, who was mumbling something under her breath. "Always…attention…Logan…not me." I had no clue what this sentence meant, so I made a note in my head to ask Lily later, but by the sour look on her face, I doubt even she would tell me.

I tried-unsuccessfully- to listen to the teacher talk about cells and what not, but since I already knew it all, I couldn't keep my mind from wandering to Blake. I put my hand down by my sides and, you guessed it, our hands touched and we jerked them away so fast like we were poison. (How cliché)

Blake was looking away from me so I didn't know what she looked like, but I know I was getting hot in my face. I felt my cheeks go red, but maybe they couldn't really since I was always pale. I don't know, but what I do know is that I liked the way my skin felt when we touched. Even if it was just a brush of skin, it sent shivers down my spine, making me feel all woozy inside. It made me feel sick, like I was in pain. It made my heart throb to the point to where it was so painful I wanted to cry (Which I _never_ do).

And I loved every second of it.

I wanted to touch her-not in the creepy stalker way- but I just wanted to touch her face. I wanted to feel her body against mine. I wanted her to love me as much as I love her. I just want Blake. I want all of her. Every flaw, every perfection, every little detail. But something in my gut told me I could never have her.

The bell rang.

"Don't forget about the essays due Friday!" Miss Chapman said before people rushed out of the room. Blake was already gone and Lily was waiting by the door, tapping her foot impatiently.

Lily went to her physics class while I entered history alone. As usual. I tried to look at the bright side of things, and there weren't that many of them. What had I said to make her so angry all of a sudden? I told her that o hadn't read her diary, I apologized to her…what did I say? I thought back quickly to our conversation, her body language, which changed after I asked about Amanda.

That was it! But why would she be upset that I had asked about Amanda? That's her best friend-Blake thinks so anyway- so why should talking about her upset her? She couldn't be jealous right? I mean she has a boyfriend, one that I haven't killed yet, so what's her deal?

And she calls me bipolar.

Mr. Hawkins came to class today. He was going on about the Mayan's and 2012. I knew the story. The world would end in 2012 because their calendar ended, yeah what bull crap. I bet the reason it ended was because they were tired of making it so they decided for it to end. What a joke they are.

So I listened without any interest what so ever. I was bored and I tried to keep my mind from Blake. Trying not to burst through the door and run back home, only to come back and begin this all over again. Besides they hated me by now, and for some reason I didn't care. I mean so what? I wanted nothing to do with them anymore. I missed them terribly, but at the same time it was their fault I was even like this. And I'm glad I am. I don't want to be the reason for Blake's death.

I watched the clock, which seemed to go slower every time I looked at it, but I had to keep going. This torture couldn't last forever could it? Yes, yes it could.

Want to know why? Because right at that moment black haired Christoffles came running into the classroom, out of breath. I heard Lily's sobs from the hallway.

I stood up as soon as I saw him. My movement was way to fast, inhuman, but luckily the kids were all paying attention to another kid who looked almost exactly like me. "Christoffles?"

He paused. It took me only a second to gauge his reaction. His hair was messed up in tangles, almost like mine this morning. His face looked like it was in pain, yet trying to stay strong. It was ugly on him, but the only time Christoffles ever wore that face is when something really bad had happened. I mean _really_ bad.

He was out of breath which meant he had been flying fast. And he wasn't that fast ever since Alex sliced his left wing. that's mostly why I hated him, but that wasn't the problem right now. I wished he would say anything other than what he was going to say. I would take just about anything. But he said it anyway, and my worst fear (well second to worst) was confirmed.

"Logan." he voice was hurt, strangled, which matched his expression perfectly. It only made the situation more real. "It's Scott. He's dead."

Just because I knew what he was going to say, doesn't mean it made it feel any less worse. If anything it made it hurt more.


	11. Chapter 10

10.

Is it bad that I miss Blake right now?

My brother is dead and he was one of my favorites. Yet here I was, sitting on my outside my room, missing Blake terribly. When I left I saw her in the hallway, watching me and Lily with a curious expression, while Lily was crying and couldn't stop. Me? I couldn't find tears to shed. Did it make sense that the pain hurt too bad to where I couldn't cry?

Christoffles was inside, trying to comfort Lily. I can hear her sniffles and the soft words of help. I was just quite out here, listening to the whispers of the wind. No practice for either of us, but we didn't need it. We didn't have it anyway, thank god. I knew this night was going to be a silent one, trying not to cry.

While Lily was sad, I was…just fuming. I wanted to find who ever did this and rip its head off. I wanted to cause it unimaginable pain. I wanted to show that he messed with the wrong family. I felt the hot anger wash through me, filling every nerve with the same desire. I wanted to kill. I wanted to hunt. Whoever killed Scott better _pray_ that I don't find him. Because when I do…I can't even think about what I'm going to do.

There was another cry from inside and Chris's words of comfort, but this time it didn't stop. I got up and opened the door to my car. I raced down the highway until the got to the exit for the school. I had no idea what I was about to do, but I had to do something. Anything to keep my mind off this. I slammed the door shut, pulled my fingers through my hair, tossing the five dollar bill on the ground in disgust.

That was a happy moment. Could it have only been hours ago?

There was no one here. I jogged to the track. I felt my muscles tense and they knew what I was going to do. I was going to run until I couldn't feel anymore. Every pain I felt these past few days I was going to try to run off. Every memory of Blake, even the happy ones. I just can't take it anymore.

I sprinted.

I worked myself hard. I wasn't going any faster than a normal human, but I was sprinting down the track, and I just kept going. My muscles weren't even warm by my fifth lap. Not even remotely tired after my fifteen. I just kept going, not really caring what I must look like. I heard a harsh gasp and then I found out it was mine. I just kept running though. I didn't care that my heart hurt, I was running because of it. It was just kindling my fire to keep going.

I felt the fire in my chest before I heard my harsh breathing become more cracked, more forced. I slowed down and stopped. that's when I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks. I sat on the track and just put my head between my knees. I thought I could get rid of it, but I only hid it. This pain hurt. Not like Blake, no matter how bad it hurt. This was different. This was family. My brother. My friend. How had this gone so out of hand?

Another choked sob came from my lips. Then another stream of tears. I didn't hear the person come up to me, I only felt the warm arms around my body when she sat next to me. I put my head into her, crying like a fool. And I couldn't even bring myself to stop. I didn't want to. All of this I had been holding in for the past few centuries. Now I had finally hit the cracking point. Now I was crying.

It took ten minutes of just sitting there, crying my heart out, for me to finally stop. She said nothing during the whole time. She was quiet, just comforting me with her arms rubbing my back. My head was on her shoulder, while she pet my hair and leaned against me.

I looked up at Blake. She wasn't mad, she wasn't resented, she looked sorry. Like she wanted to take my pain away and make it her own. I didn't deserve it, I knew that, but it was nice all the same. Her blue eyes were like an ocean, calming my body so I wasn't shaking anymore. She didn't speak and then her eyes met mine. I couldn't help myself.

I leaned in, pressing my cool lips to hers. She didn't fight, she kissed back, her hand pressed against my neck, pulling me closer. Her other hand was on my cheek, wiping away any tear left. She felt so good. Her body, her mouth, her everything. I had wanted this for a while now- which is really only three days if you think about it- but it felt like eternity. My hand caressed her back, the other in her mahogany hair.

I broke away.

I didn't want to, but at that moment I remembered why I was here in the first place. It only made me feel worse to know my brother was dead, and Blake was currently dating Jeremy. My anger flared for a moment, but it was cut off by another round of hysterical sobs. It caught Blake off guard, but she soothed my pain again.

When I was silent, she took it as a point to speak.

"I heard what happened, Logan." her voice was soft, but so loud in my ringing ears. I didn't answer.

"I'm so sorry." and Blake was. If she was anything from what I learned in my short time with her, I knew she wouldn't lie, not about something like this. I took a chance and looked at her again, suddenly wishing I hadn't. those eyes, those blue eyes, only made it harder to keep control over myself. I was never good with self control anyway.

My hand brushed over her arm, raising goose bumps where our flesh made contact. I traced my fingers up her arm and along her collarbone, making her shiver, but it seventy degrees so I knew it wasn't from cold. I memorized her face, my fingers lingering here and there. My other hand was slowly trailing up her waist. I went slowly, giving her plenty of time to stop me.

This time when our lips touched, it was like fire. It was everywhere, there wasn't any part of me that didn't feel Blake. My hands were in her hair, our lips didn't part unless she needed to breathe, but even then my mouth just went down her neck. She brought my mouth back to hers in a frenzy. Her breath was sweet, her skin was soft and warm, but also like fire. Everywhere I touched a fire blazed around her skin. It made me want her more.

When we broke off again, I wasn't the only one breathing heavily. Our foreheads were pressed together. I heard her heart beating in a flutter, her blood pounding, making my mouth water. She had this scent like she was baking in the sun. Almost like crisp autumn leaves, but still Blake. It was like two scents in one, but neither made me back away. Each lured me in, in its own unique way. It was even harder not to bite her.

The wind blew around us, making her hair move in every direction. Blake looked so beautiful. Her light olive skin was shining in the waning daylight. The eyes she had just looked at you, making you stare longer. They burned in her sockets with such intensity I almost believed it to be love. She was just so beautiful. How had I not noticed it before? How had I lived without her? There was so much I had been missing.

"That was wrong." I said, my voice deeply depressed. I was supposed to be upset about Scott yet here I was, making out with some girl who already had a boyfriend. Not just some girl. She wasn't just some girl anymore. Blake was someone I wanted to be with.

Her lips twitched. "I know."

"I'm sorry not sorry though." I said cautiously. "You have no idea how much I wanted to do that."

She looked at me, startled. Had she not known how much affect she had on me? How had she not seen in my eyes how much I loved her? Was I that hardened, that she couldn't see through the walls I so desperately wanted her to take down?

"Really?"

"More than you know." my voice was strong. I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

Blake turned her head away. I could she was struggling to find words. I wanted so much to touch her again, but this time I just settled for holding her hand.

"Do you know what happened to your brother?" a subject change, not a good sign. I tried to hide the pain in my stinging eyes, thankful they obeyed for once.

"Murder." I said flatly.

"Do you know…?"

"I have a pretty good idea." my voice cracked like a whip. She flinched at the sound.

I was fairly sure my father had killed him. Scott wanted to follow me the day I left. This time since he was stronger, he was going to get his way by following me and Lily. But good old Atheus wouldn't hear of losing another son. He would rather see one dead by his own hands than have another traitor. My father was sick. How he did this and was able to stay alive with my mother I had no clue. I was still waiting for news that my mother had killed him in revenge, but part of me knew it wasn't my dad.

But I still thought it was.

Blake nodded. "Who was the boy who came in and told you? I saw him with you and Lily."

I smiled, but it was more like a grimace. "Christoffles. He's my best friend from Italy."

She was silent after that.

I watched the sun dip down over the horizon. I needed to get back. Lily would be worried. Not about me, but about me going to find the killer. I always got stupid when I was angry. Very reckless really. More than likely I would get myself killed by blind hate.

"Need a ride?" she read my distant face.

"I'd love that."

She got up silently, but to my great surprise, Blake didn't release my hand. We walked side by side, fingers intertwined, to her truck. The warm air blew around us, giving it a dry taste, but something perfect for this moment. The sun made my skin tingle again, but at this point, my heart was cracking through my ribs. Like a could feel anything but happiness at this point.

"What were you doing out here?" I asked, earnestly. It was one thing for me to be out here.

She laughed without humor. "Jeremy got mad at me."

I froze. She stopped too, surprised by my sudden jerk.

"He didn't hurt me! No I would have done something about it." she read my eyes that were harder than steel.

"If he ever does you come straight to me." my words were harsh and she knew I meant them.

Blake laughed, breaking the tension. "I will." she thought for a moment. "The track is a nice place. I took the leave-it-all-on-the-track saying to heart to tell the truth. It lets me think straight."

I nodded. "Tell me about it." we both stepped over a log.

"You're really good, Logan."

I smiled, putting my hands in her pocket. "You saw me running, huh?"

"Nope. I saw you _sprint_." her face was so funny when she said that. I laughed.

I rolled my eyes and thanked her. We were silent again, but by this point we made it to the car. I hopped in the passenger side, while Blake climbed up to the driver's side. She put the keys in and turned up the radio. Blake rolled the windows down and sang every word to every song that came on. Her voice was so beautiful when it was carrying a tune.

Then she started laughing as she sang to a song I knew all to well. I snorted in disgust.

"_Please_ tell me you are not a Justin Bieber fan."

Blake laughed loudly, turning it up all the way. I shook my head and looked out the window.

I didn't know we were at my little "house" until she stopped. She looked at me with the most odd expression.

"Logan, about the kiss-"

"Don't." I stopped her, but she held up one finger.

"Let me finish." she smiled. "I'm not sorry either, but we can't do this. Not now at least."

It took me a minute to realize what she was saying. I just sat there like a moron (Which I still am), open mouthed. Blake liked me. But not enough to break it off which Jeremy. I tried not to let that crush my feelings, but at least she liked me a little bit. I smiled.

"Bye, Blake." I jumped out of the car, feeling like I could run forever, and burst through the door. I heard Blake's laughter as she drove off.

Lily was sitting on the bed, her face was lost in my fluffy pillow. It took my eyes a moment to really catch what I saw.

First: Lily wasn't asleep. At first glance you would automatically assume something like that, but really her face was buried in my fluffy pillow.

Second: Christoffles wasn't beside her. He was half way on top of her. He too looked like he was asleep, but if I stared longer I could see his head snuggled in my sister's neck.

Third: he wasn't just laying there. He was kissing her neck, running his hands over her sides, pushing away her mess of her hair. I heard hear sigh, but it wasn't just a sigh. It was a sigh of _pleasure_.

All I can say is 'ew'.

I shut the door loudly, making both of them jump. I mumbled something to them and walked to the bathroom. They both straitened up.

"Next time you wanna do something like that, leave a note." I said. Chris didn't laugh, but Lily's sounded all wrong.

"Logan, we just-"

I held up a hand. There was no way in hell that I wanted to hear all of the gory details.

But was I any better? I just made out with some girl who's already taken. All well. It was so worth it.


	12. Chapter 11

11.

"You kissed her?" Christoffles asked.

We sat over a bridge, watching water rush under us. Our wings were stretched out, and let me tell you, it felt good. It was nice to feel normal in our own little world, no where near humans or anything like that.

We left early this morning, leaving Lily a note that we would be back. I just needed to tell him what happened. We've been talking all morning about what Blake and I had talked about. Every detail, every touch, trying to figure out what it could mean. so far it looked good.

"Twice." I grinned.

He punched my arm, laughing. I chuckled with him, missing our moments like this. We haven't been able to talk like this since the last time I saw him. When I left it was sort of sudden. It made it easier for my pain, but it made it worse him. He'd been my best friend forever. I couldn't imagine what I would have done if I woke up to find that my best friend had left with a word of goodbye. It would kill me too.

"I'd say she likes you."

My smile went down a notch, remembering what she said. "She said we couldn't do this and I understand completely. She does have a boyfriend and I doubt she's the type to just get up and leave." now I was starting to wonder if I was still talking about Blake or myself.

"That you couldn't do this _yet_. Face it, Logan, she digs you." Christoffles winked at me as I snorted with laughter. I rolled my eyes and pushed my fingers through my hair.

"Maybe, or maybe she just felt sorry for me." I frowned. I got up and jumped into the rushing water. It was only knee deep, but I could feel the icy water hit my skin. The cold would have affected a human, but it felt relevantly nice to me.

"Why are you setting yourself up for heart break?" Christoffles glided down, his legs now soaked by the brown water.

"I'm looking at it from all the sides."

Her jerked my face towards him. "No, you're looking at it from one side. You're only seeing the glass half empty while I'm looking at it half full."

"That's a crummy line, you know that?" I snapped, jumping away from him.

"I'm just trying to help you, Logan. I can't if you don't let me." he sighed and walked back over to me, his wings protruding slightly from his back. "Stay positive, okay?"

"I'll try." I bent down and drank some of the water, before I jerked my wrists, spraying Christoffles with a handful of water.

He charged at me before I jumped above him. He grabbed my ankle, slamming me down into the water. He held me under, but if I was getting wet, so was he. I grabbed his arms, pulling him towards me, instead of away and this caught him off guard. He toppled over me, flipping in the air as if to avoid the water. But he wasn't fast enough.

He slammed into the water as I lifted into the air. His fingers brushed my ankle, but I was already getting farther away. My stomach started to hurt after laughing so hard from watching Christoffles trying to lift into the air with sopping wet wings, then only to crash back into the water to start all over again.

"Masters!" he yelled at me, but I was flying away from him, still laughing. I landed lightly on my feet before opening the door.

Lily was looking in the mirror, brushing her hair. She smile attentively at me before returning to her own reflection. I hit the shower and then got dressed. I meant to say something to Lily about Blake, but she was already out the door before I could even get a syllable out.

When Christoffles came through the door he glowered at me and took his own shower. I chuckled as I took a bite of some sausage and eggs that Lily was gracious enough to make. That didn't mean they were any good (Lily was never a good cook), but the thought was very nice.

He got dressed and then ate some food too. He eyed me, ready to spit this out. I shrugged my shoulders when he forced his last bite down his throat. Christoffles gave me the look that said I was cooking from now on, which suited me fine, I just didn't want to be the one to tell Lily her cooking might be a weapon of mass destruction it fell into the wrong hands (I'm not joking either).

We both glanced in the mirror. We looked more like brothers than Scott and I, but then again he was dead, we couldn't compare anymore. I tried not to frown as I stepped out the door. I locked the door and then popped open the trunk. We put both of our bags in their for practice. I was sure coach would let him run once he knew he was just as good and Lily and I.

"How was the water?" I joked, pushing my elbow into his ribs. He slapped it away from me and folded his arms, pouting. "Don't act like a grown up, Christoffles, people might think you're weird."

He growled, but it wasn't any threat.

I pulled in the lot, avoiding all the people in my way. I slid into a space and got out of the car. We grabbed our bags and went to the locker room to stash them there for later.

"Going out with Blake later, Jeremy?" I heard Kyle ask as Christoffles and I walked in. Everyone in the locker room stared at us like we were freaks. I didn't particularly understand what the hubbub was about, but I got over it quickly.

Jeremy picked the conversation back up. "Yeah. I'm taking her to dinner after practice Friday." he grinned and looked at me with a smirk. I looked away before I gave anything away.

"Nice."

Jeremy laughed before shutting his locker. "Maybe that night I'll get lucky." the way he said it made my muscles lock. They both laughed and I swore I saw him stuff condoms in his back pocket. Christoffles placed a hand on my shoulder. It looked like he did it lightly, but really his hand clamped hard on me, making sure I didn't snap his neck as he walked by. When Kyle left I kicked a locker, making a dent the size of my foot.

"I doubt Blake would let him do anything." he tried to soothe me.

"I doubt he would let her say no." I snarled. I punched a few more lockers before I kicked the door open, almost off its hinges.

"What are you going to do about it?" for a moment, the way he sounded, I thought he was Darius. That was a stupid thought, forget I said that.

"I'll tell you when I figure it out."

I walked to Calculus, realizing I've only been to the classes before lunch, never after it. I hope they don't hold it against me.

Justin was silent as he sat down next to me, so I assumed everyone heard about what had happened to one of my brothers. People looked at me from the corners of their eyes, so I knew I was right, but I was already on my last nerve. It wasn't going to take me much to go off, but I was trying to stay calm.

How could Jeremy say that? It didn't surprise me though. Blake was something to look at, sure, but I wouldn't dare try that on her. She was beautiful to me, so I knew other men found her attractive in _that_ way, but for him to force her? How sick could you get?

I did my homework with the extra time in class quickly before the bell rang. I felt the stares on my back as I walked through the halls, but it slid off me as Christoffles walked down the hallway with his hand in Lily's. They let go as soon as they saw me looking.

"Are you two dating now?" I asked, bluntly. Then I remembered their little necking session before I shuddered.

I didn't have a problem with him, of course not. I loved my best friend and I loved my sister. It would be awesome to actually be related to him, but for some reason it made me a little angry. I was her brother and I felt very protective over her, and any boy who wanted her made me a little more edgy. Especially after what I witnessed yesterday.

"I guess you could say that." Lily said, blushing.

I grimaced. "Just keep the PDA to a minimal around me, okay?" I shut my locker door and went to chemistry with both of them following me inside. I sat down next to the empty seat I've sat in for the last few days and waited for Blake to arrive.

When she sat down next to me, I tried to act normal so she sensed nothing, but in the end it was unnecessary. She didn't speak to me, let alone even look this way. Her head didn't even move a fraction towards me. It looked like she was hardly moving other than he moving chest. When the bell rang she left without a word. 'Cold shoulder' came to mind, but it felt even worse coming from her.

I went to history alone, as usual, but I've never felt so isolated in my life. Why had Blake avoided me like that, not even giving me a word of hello of something like that. I walked down the hall towards the room. When I passed a janitorial closet I was pulled inside quickly.

I was about to say something, but someone cut me off.

"Don't say a word." Blake whispered urgently before pressing her lips to mine.

This felt really cliché right now, but I loved every moment of it. Her body molded perfectly with mine. We were like matches and gasoline, burning with such intensity it was almost too much. Blake left a few minutes later, then I followed. Mr. Hawkins wasn't even in the classroom when I walked in, which suited me fine.

After lunch I went to Spanish class with Miss Smit and after that I went to Physics with Mr. Jimmylyn. It's a weird name I know, but it didn't really matter to me. In both of these classes Blake spoke to me like she normally did.

We talked about how stupid the language was even though we knew it perfectly (She lived in Spain for a few years). She sat next to me and joked about the tiniest things. She said our coach was crazy, which I had to agree, then she started to say something about my eyes, but I let it go. We walked about my home (no details) and where I used to go to school. She was shocked when I told I never stayed in one place for more than a year.

"Never found a place I liked." I told her truthfully. Blake frowned, but launched back into her tale.

In physics I found out both her parents were dead.

"They died when I was fifteen. Car accident and all. I lived on my own from then on. I didn't want to live with strangers."

"And the judge let you?" I sounded a little appalled and proud at the same time.

"I didn't have any other family. Besides I had a good job and I could already pay the first two months rent on a hotel room. There was no reason for him to tell me that I couldn't support myself. I got a little help from people in the town, but after I turned seventeen I moved here. I've only lived here for a year or so."

But that meant…

"You're eighteen?"

She laughed. "Don't sound so surprised, Logan. I didn't get held back or anything," she tapped her head as if to show how smart she was, "Its just the date and month I was born."

I nodded, looking back at the teacher who was talking about something I had no clue about. Blake and I didn't get to talk much after the bell rang. She went to the locker room with Amanda-whom I just saw right now for the first time in two days. I changed quickly before any of the other guys came in and jogged out to the track. After that it was all running and no body has a breath to spare besides Lily, Chris and I.

I tried not to look at Jeremy too much as we passed him in the field. Its not like I could vent or say anything to Lily because Blake was right up there with us, but not without effort. I could see she was really pushing herself to be up here, but by the size of her legs, I knew she was good at this sort of thing.

After practice I sat on the grass and glared at Jeremy as Blake got into his car. He drove off with her to drop her off I assumed, but what did I know. I had until Friday to figure out what I was going to do, but I didn't have the faintest idea. What was I going to do? Pop in and beat the hell out of him? Not that I didn't want to do that or anything, I just didn't want to scare off Blake. I could drink his blood, but again, I don't want to make Blake hate me.

"Coming, Logan?" Lily called from ahead. She turned around and jogged back to me, her black hair swinging with every step she took. Lily reached me in a second with Christoffles trailing close behind.

"I think I'll walk." I told them. Then I said to go on and not to worry about me. I just needed some time alone.

"How could Logan need 'time alone'? he's been alone for the last two hundred years? What was he doing then?" Lily ranted, walking away. I shook my head at that girl. I just never understood her, nor would I ever.

Watching everyone walk away to their lives at home wasn't at fun as I originally thought it would be. There were no screaming moms or yells, but I did see a few kids making out under the bleachers by the football field. How lovely.

Once I was alone out here I got up and started to walk to my room. Cars honked on the highway, but I could care less. I passed restaurants and homeless dudes, but I still didn't care. I was ten miles away from the hotel; I had quite I walk ahead of me. Not that it would be hard, I just wanted to take it slow. Clear my mind. That sort of thing.

I was going to kill Jeremy if I ever caught him touching Blake. I was sure he would try to force her, but could Blake protect herself? What would she do?

Nope, stop right there. Jeremy wasn't going to get anywhere near her because I wasn't going to let him, so it was moot point.

I reached the door knob and walked inside. Lily was watching TV with Chris and I sat down to join them. I snorted as I watched some re-runs of _Buffy the vampire Slayer_. I rolled my eyes, but watched some human girl stake vampire after vampire. It made me feel worse than I already was because this could be how I died.

I stood back up and went to sit outside, unable to sit still for a few minutes. It started to drizzle as I sat under the closet pine tree. I could barely see the sun coming from the dark clouds that were covering our only source of light for the moment. I breathed in and out, only wanting one thing to do right now.

I wanted to go take Blake and fly away with her, leaving the pain of this world behind us forever.


	13. Chapter 12

12.

The next two days went by in a blur. I hardly got to see Blake, even at the cross country meet yesterday, but Jeremy was all over her. We barely spoke two words to each other, but I had other things on my mind.

What was I going to do? I couldn't let Jeremy just force her to do anything, but how was I going to stop him? I could beat the living daylights out of him, but I don't think I could bring myself to stop if I get started. Blake was too precious to lose like that. I could warn her about his plans, but what could I really say? _Yeah, your boyfriend is going to force you to have sex, what are you going to do about it?_ I don't think that would fly too well.

So I did the only thing I could think of: I went to take a shower.

Its lame, trust me I know, but it was a nice way to think. Then I would go out flying and hope the answer just hit me in the head, light bulb flash on, sort of thing. Yeah freakin' right. When did the solutions ever come easily to me? I'm half demon for crying out loud!

Once the shower was done I combed my unruly hair for the hundredth time, shrugged my clothes on, and ran into the woods.

I looked at the tiny clearing, almost like it was a runway made for me. I crouched low on the balls of my feet. I felt the soft ground under my bare feet after I took my shoes off. I took off at a dead sprint, going as fast as a possibly could without taking any trees out. Once I was air born, nothing was going to be able to stop me.

I slid to a stop, the ground sliding from under me. I fell backwards onto my back (big shocker) trying not to ram myself into the only full vampire in a mile radius: Amanda.

I was surprised to see her here, but I his my emotions well. She was just standing there, not moving a fraction of an inch. I narrowed my eyes.

"What?" her voice was flat. She drug her hands through he thick blonde curls and smiled like she owned the world. In her world she might, but in mine, Blake was in total control. (Please ignore that last sentence)

I shrugged my shoulders, still keeping my eyes locked on her some what motionless figure. "You tell me."

"I'm guessing you heard about Erik." Amanda said. She sounded like she had no remorse, either that or she didn't kill him, but I'm pretty sure she did.

"Heard? The whole town is _talking_ about his murder. Have any idea who did it?" I challenged, raising one of my black eyebrows. She looked away, hiding her face behind her hair.

"So its true then? You killed Erik?"

Amanda wheeled toward me unexpectedly. She was in my face the next second. I staggered backward from her, shocked by her sudden closeness. I recovered quickly, but Amanda just slapped my face. I was sure she left a red hand mark.

"How dare you." her voice was full of anger. When I looked into her green eyes I saw the pain I had inflicted on her when I said those words. Ht hurt there, the agony. It struck me right then and there that Amanda had nothing to do with Erik's death. She was only hiding the suffering she was really feeling.

"I loved him." she said slowly, more in control. "He knew I was a vampire. I was going to change him soon." Amanda's voice grew softer, more human like. "I guess it wasn't soon enough."

The pain must be killing her, I thought. To have to know the one you loved is dead. I don't think I could ever be as strong as her and live through it. If it was Blake…I don't think I can even think about it. It hurt too bad.

I nodded, suddenly feeling very weak. I sat on the soft, wet grass, trying to clear my head of the images that felt all too real.

Blake being hit by a car…Blake getting shot…Blake getting killed by a vampire…Blake getting killed by me.

The last one made me shudder and I didn't fight it. How could I ever expect myself to go on if I was the monster who took her life away?

"Did anyone know you told him your secret…our secret?" I added. She was in my world just as much as I was in hers. We were pretty much floating on the same boat to tell you the truth. We both love humans-go figure.

She shook her head. "I didn't tell a soul." she took in another breath and sat down next to me. "And when I saw I was terrified. I though you had come to enforce some of your laws from a while back." her laugh was shaky. "But when you didn't even recognize me at first. I knew the truth. You were still running from home."

"I still am." I told her.

"You went back though." Amanda tacked on thoughtfully. "Forgive me if I'm prying, but why did you come back?"

At first I thought she said why did you go, but when I realized she said come, I had to rethink my answer.

I told her the whole reason why I went there in the first place. The first day of school, seeing Blake for the first time. I told her how overwhelmed I was so I ran. She laughed when I told her I got in a big fight with Alex, but listened as I told her the story of my family trying to take my soul out.

"They found a way?" said Amanda, astonished.

I smiled. "I guess so."

"Why didn't you let them remove the soul?"

I looked at her. "Because I love Blake. If my soul were removed, what would stop me from hurting her, or killing her for that matter?"

She pursed her lips. "Good point."

"Is she really your best friend?" I asked her, remembering the first time I saw any of them. I remember how Amanda had a false note in her voice when she said "What are best friends for?". I never understood why she would lie about it, but I wasn't so sure I trusted her anymore. She was part of my old life. And I was trying to trust my past as little as possible.

"I don't know, but it makes a good cover. Besides Blake is, very interesting to say the least." she chuckled at her own thought. "But I wouldn't harm her if that's what your asking." even as good as a liar Amanda is, I could still detect that lie well hidden underneath all her truth. I didn't know what she was lying about, but I don't think either choices were very good.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say.

I stood up. "I have to go." the urge was too strong. I had to leave this place right now. I didn't know why (I've been saying that a lot lately. Have you noticed?) but I had to get away. "Bye Amanda."

I stretched my wings, listening to listen to the bones crack. I smiled. It felt like a human cracking their back. It only brings pleasure a lot better riding. I jumped into the slightly warm air and began to push my wings to get up higher. I got out of the thick trees quickly, but I could still hear Amanda's quick feet of retreat going the opposite direction.

The wind was warm on my back, heating the worries away if for only a moment. The wind went with me, making me able to coast on warm currents every now and then. I touched ground about an hour later. Tomorrow was Friday and I had no idea what to do. I was just going to do what all great men do when they are faced with a problem.

Put it off and worry about it tomorrow. Nah, I'm just kidding you. I'm going to eat and sleep on it. Hey its what we do. Don't judge.

I pulled the covers over my head, breathing deeply. Before I knew it the sun was shining through my window, making me wake up. When I looked over I was cuddling up to Christoffles.

"Oh my god!" I shouted, pushing him away and falling off the side of the bed. My head slammed into a chair and pulling the covers off, which-of course-brought Chris down with me. When he landed on top of me he was awake this time, his face only inches from mine. When his eyes opened all the way, he joined me in another scream. I felt a pillow his my groin.

The breath was released from my lungs with a _oof _and an _ugh_ sound. From the speed and sudden pain down there I assumed it was Lily who threw it at me. I got up, another sore spasm hitting me.

"Thanks Lily." I whispered, my voice a little high. Now for you girls you may be thinking 'oh shake it off' but you have absolutely no idea how much that hurt. My voice was shaky and clearly in a large amount of pain, but Lily sat on the floor, staring at me, unfazed.

"No problem, now hurry up and take a shower you two, I want to leave." she stood up and poured her some coffee (since when did she drink that horrible black stuff? Yes I get the pun), but then she called over her shoulder as I passed, "Do you want to take them together or separate?"

I whacked her over the head, but she was just giggling when I stepped into the bathroom. I put my clothes on again like normal, but when I got out I realized that I was alone in this room. I flipped the curtain open and saw that my blue Prius was gone. Great, they choose today to mess with me.

I jogged down the highway and stopped at Speedway. I grabbed a Mountain Dew/ Coke slushy. It was really good, but nothing like the taste of human blood. Oh how I miss it-sorry I let my mind stray. Lets get back on track shall we?

I threw the empty container on the side of the road (sorry tree huggers) once I was done and then I went down the exit ramp to the school. I was in the school when the bell rang and I sprinted to my first class.

"So nice of you to join us, Mr. Masters. Please, do sit down." I let the sarcasm slide as I took a seat next to Justin. I looked back at Chris as gave him the evil eye. He knew I would get him back later. Actually this was probably pay back for the river thing, but still.

I barely registered Blake was alive in the next class and I was sure she noticed, but I couldn't help myself but sulk. She was going on a date with Jeremy where he was going to try to get laid and I had zilch ideas on how to stop him. Without damaging him of course.

I sat alone at lunch, even after Blake and Amanda invited me to sit with them. Even after Lily told me to sit with her, but I wasn't in the mood. From the whispers I heard most people thought it was because of my brothers death, but (sorry Scottie) Blake was more important than that.

At practice I had a hard time keeping my anger in check. I went off on a few people, including Blake, which made her think I went back into the bipolar state again. Then I had to try really hard not to kill Jeremy when he picked her up for practice. I had nothing, but an empty brain, and here I was, doing nothing about it.

I went home and sat on the bed. An hour passed. Two. That was when I finally woke up with a vengeance. Even if I couldn't kill him, I could still stop him right? What was I doing just sitting here while Blake was probably getting raped some where. I got up and stormed into the night.

I followed her scent trail down the main street. It took my a while to find her specific scent, but when I thought I found her I remembered Jeremy would be with her too, so I ended up having to start all over. When I finally reached my destination a feeling a great stupidity fell upon me.

I was standing in front of one of the only hotels in the town besides mine. Here I could smell both Blake and Jeremy. For a little while I listened for anything that would say what was going on. After a while I was about to give up, not hearing a single soul. But then I heard the exact thing I was looking for right when I opened the door to my car.

Blake's pleas for help.


	14. Chapter 13

13.

I didn't even hesitate for a second. I bounded around the first corner and came to a stop in the shadows as I saw two figures over by the stairs. The first one I saw was Jeremy, his hands all over Blake, his face only inches from her. She was struggling like I knew she would, but not even she could defeat him in his drunken stupor.

"Jeremy, stop." Blake pleaded again, trying to get away from his arms that were slowly trying to pry her shirt off. I could see he wasn't going to let her get away, but that was why I was here wasn't it?

"Not tonight, baby. You're mine." the way he said it made me growl. I waited a few more seconds. Enough time for him to slip her shirt off to reveal a pink under shirt she had on. I let out my breath and stepped out from the shadows.

"Let. Her. Go." each word I said with precision, each word with a purpose. I growled again, as if to show him I meant business.

Jeremy turned to face me, his hands still on her squirming body. "Make. Me." he said mocking my tone of voice.

That did it.

I don't take lightly to back tack or any sort of mockery. And since he was pretty much trying to rape the one I loved, well my anger was boiling over the top, ready to explode.

I charged him. When he tried to move out of the way I just followed his stepping and plowed him to the ground. It was just too easy. My fists pounded into his face, his gut, anything I could get my hands on. Where was the fight? Where was the challenge? He was just some simple human. How could he ever expect to defeat me, especially after what he saw in study hall the other day.

Blood was flowing out of his nose, but I didn't care about how much it appealed to me. I just kept hitting him, until eventually, he was unconscious. I stood up and wiped the blood off my hands and tried to get the blood stains out of my shirt. The smell hit me now, making me want to drain the life out of him, but I wasn't going to. He was lucky Blake was here, or he would have been dead ages ago.

I turned to face her. Blake's face was full of shock, horror, and most of all gratitude. I finally saw her body now. She was wearing shorts and a pink lacy tank top. She had bruises on her arms and legs, there was a small cut on her cheek, and tears flowing from her eyes. She was missing one shoe, her hair was a complete mess, and she looked like hell.

She was so beautiful.

I stepped closer to her, slowly, giving her enough time to run away screaming or something, like normal humans would. There was a moan from Jeremy from behind, but when I turned to look at him, his body was slumped and limp again. Typical.

Blake's eyes were watching him, then they darted back to me. She didn't look afraid, but looks can be deceiving. Humans were always good liars. I never quite understood why. Her blue eyes were frantic, but mostly she was examining me, looking for any sign or blood that was mine, any bruise, any harm that Jeremy had done to me. Obviously she found none because she let out a sigh of relief.

When I reached her she fell into my arms, either from exhaustion or fear. I couldn't tell which, other than she was crying harder now. I comforted her, just like she did to me on the track. I kissed the top of her head, reveling in the coconut smell of her hair. It was like heaven with a trace of sugar. We just stood there for a little while, and I waited for her to catch her breath and calm down.

It didn't take too long, but every time she tried to look into my eyes and say something, Blake buried her head in my chest, more tears streaming down her face. It was almost as if she was too ashamed to say a word, but she wanted to so badly. I wanted to make her tell me what was on her mind, but I waited until Blake was ready to talk. That's what a real gentleman would do. At least I think they would.

This time Blake sucked in a large breath and fought back the tears and she looked in my black eyes. I felt her body stand on its own, drawing on some unknown strength, but for a moment I saw a flash of fire in her eyes, felt a rush of heat on her skin, witnessed Blake transforming into someone else. Not a weak Blake, but a Blake who's strong and ready to fight any battle. But she still looked so fragile.

"I was so stupid to let him bring me here." Blake said, her eyes glancing at Jeremy every few seconds, as if expecting to see him get up and repeat history again. Not after that beating he won't.

"Yes, you were." I said, my voice strained from the smell on her blood. "But I'm happy you're okay, for now anyway." I smiled, pulling her closer. I felt her warm hands on my chest.

Blake nodded, looking back at me with a smile on her lips as well. My eyes narrowed as I saw a bruise under her eyes. I pushed her hair away to find more black and purple coloring around her neck. I hissed.

"What did he _do_ to you?" I fought the urge to kill that monstrous boy again.

She looked away. "How did you find me here?" she asked, diverting from the subject. My hands balled up into fists, but I kept my breathing calm.

"I heard him in the locker room." I spat on the ground, away from her. "He was talking about a date with you Friday. He said he was going to take you here and hoped he got lucky." I tensed, his words echoing through my mind like a broken record.

She pushed away from me. "You mean you _knew_ he was going to try something like this and _you didn't tell me?_" her voice was going in a few octaves and her voice for angrier.

I looked shocked. I hadn't expected this kind of reaction in her.

"You knew and you didn't say a word?" Blake looked sad now. "Why wouldn't you tell me." her anger flared up again like a great big ball of fire. I swear I saw red flash in her eyes, but it was gone before I could really see it.

"Think about it, Blake. Would you have believed me if I had told you something like this?" she opened her mouth to speak, but shut it quickly, and I knew I was right. But there was no way I was going to tell her that. That was the one thing about women. They always have to be right. If you guys realize that one fact in life, you'll do a lot better in life. Never forget her birthday either, not unless you don't want to live long enough to have another one of yours.

"I guess I get your point." I held back a smile from her words. She sounded like she had lost all her dignity.

I chuckled and looked down at her face. "Are you okay?" then I regretted them. How stupid was that? 'Are you okay?' I might as well have asked if her hurt her.

She looked at me with an unbelievable face. "Don't go there."

"Sorry."

_Click. _

There was a startling, blaring pain that hit my back (really close to my heart), making my knees buckle. I fell flat on my face, eating black top, before I stood back up. I felt my blood gushing from my shoulder and my wing. That really hurt. I faced Jeremy, my face pinched together in pain. I growled.

He fired another shot and this time in went right through my right chest and my wing. I hissed and let my wings out, momentarily forgetting Blake's presence. I beat them and glided directly towards him, feeling the sting of the air hitting my black blood. I kicked the gun out of his hand and picked him up by his shirt. I punched his face again, sending him back into unconsciousness, for a good while by the looks of it.

I dropped him back on the ground and stretched my wings out. I winced as I pulled some cartilage from the open wound and threw it on the ground. I felt a burning sensation as I felt my skin heal itself by my blood. Once the source of blood went away, I started to wipe it gone. I moved my wings slowly, noticing how stiff they felt, feeling like I was alone, until I heard a stifled gasp.

I wheeled toward Blake, a look of confusion on both our faces. Her eyes were locked on my black wings, and I couldn't even bring myself to put them away. For some reason it made me feel better that she knew somewhat of the truth.

We stood there for a few minutes that felt like hours. Blake said nothing, still trying to comprehend what was before her eyes. I even saw her blink and when she opened them again, I saw that she honestly believed if she did it enough, the wings before her would disappear. They didn't. in fact I moved them more and more, trying to get rid of the searing pain in my shoulder.

I hissed as I picked out the bullet that would have killed a normal teen, but left the half demon alive. She cringed at the small sound it made when it hit the concrete, but then looked at me with the same fire I had seen only a few minutes ago.

I took a step towards her, preparing to explain everything. "Blake-"

"Stay away from me, you-you freak!" she spun and started running. I could have easily caught, but I didn't even try. I felt my shoulders slump, wanting to die.

I was a freak in her eyes, a real judgment. She couldn't accept what I was, no one could. She was human after all. How could I expect her to understand what I am? Who I am? I watched her figure fade away until I couldn't see her anymore. I really screwed up this time. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen, and with trying, of course I failed. I was so close to a happy ending for tonight, but with my normal luck, I screwed it all up.

_Way to go, Logan_, I thought shrilly at myself, _way to make her run away from the monster you were._

Were, not am.

If only she would have waited a bit longer, then Blake would have seen that I wasn't a total monster. Was she right in calling me a freak? Yes. Was she right to run? Yes. Did that mean I liked it any of this pain? Absolutely not.

But that was a total human action that I told you would happen in the very beginning (See my letter if you don't understand) and I couldn't hold it against her. I was nothing normal, and normal humans shun anything that wasn't like them. They did that everyday in high school, so I knew how this would play out.

Blake would avoid me, acting like I didn't exist. She wouldn't be stupid enough to go back to Jeremy, but if I'm correct, she'll stay away from any contact for a while, even miss a few days of school. Then she'll some back like nothing ever happened, but she won't speak to me. No eye contact, no smiles, and I bet Blake will act like I'm only a sieve in her memory, acting like I'm either dead or don't exist.

Which I bet she mind if either happened to me.

I never realized how bad that hurt until I was holding my chest in fear that my heart would explode and kill the boy inside of me.

I pulled my wings in and started walking with a strange limp. I called the police to alert that a teenager was on the ground, badly beaten and looked like he had been drinking. I didn't leave my number and hung up as soon as they asked for any information. I drove off into the night and felt the darkness closing in on me.

I have never felt so alone than at this moment, but I had known at that point the ending to all of this, I would have understood that this pain wasn't even a fraction to what I would experience later in life. I closed my eyes and let a single tear (only one) fall down my face. I wiped it away without another thought and parked in the lot to the hotel. I sat in the seat, trying to clear my mind and to make my expression unreadable. I was about to go inside and fall asleep, but I knew Lily and Chris would be relentless with questions so I thought better of it.

I opened my car door and shut it. Then I walked into the woods. I sat down next to a large oak tree and threw my head against the base. How could I have been so stupid? Why had I let her see my wings? I just wish I could turn invisible so I wouldn't have to deal with Blake's cold shoulder. I really hated my life.

I fell asleep, not knowing I was being watched.

_**Sorry it took so long to update! My computer crashed and I thought I lost all of my work, but lucky for me and you, my dad fixed it today and I'm writing again!**_


	15. Chapter 14

14.

I hate being right.

Being right sucks. I have no clue why girls like to be right all the time. I mean this part doesn't even feel good to me. Maybe they choose what to be right about so they feel better when they are. That makes more sense, because right now, being right ain't so hot.

When I woke up I scrambled to my room to get dressed, only to remember it's Saturday. The best part was that Lily was going along with it, making me think that even more. Thanks sis.

I didn't tell either of them a thing. Which considering your sister is a mind reader, is pretty darn hard, but I did it some how. I cleared my mind of everything, trying not to think too hard and just let the thoughts flow. I drove every thought of Blake running in terror, every thought of her crushed face as she saw her savior was a monster too, out of my mind. I listened to my ipod and just relaxed for a while, not showing how stressed I really was.

Watching Lily and Christoffles wasn't so hard after all. In fact they were quite entertaining when they started to play card games. There's really no point to play with Lily, but either Christoffles was cheating, Lily was letting him win, or he was really just this good. Six minutes into the game of…I don't really know what its called, but to get back to the point, Lily threw her cards on the table and stormed off.

I held back laughter as she pouted.

Grabbing my ipod and bringing it with me, I walked out the door without a second glance and started down the road. I got a quick bite to eat out in the woods and then kept walking. I didn't stop until I got to a sign that said "Welcome to Florida". I glanced down at my watch and saw that it was only ten in the morning. I must have walked fast then.

I turned around after getting some orange juice, but this time I went a little slower, killing more time than normal. I got a few honks, a few fingers, and some women who felt like they needed to flash my their breasts as their car passed me. I don't know whether to feel honored or worried. I couldn't get that picture out of my head, and believe me, there was no way I wanted to be thinking about them all day long.

Once I entered North Carolina again, I felt a little bit better. It was calmer here, more civilized I guess you could say. Yes, this state had their own share of problems, but it was more peaceful than most. Something I was glad of.

I ran with Lily and Chris when I got home, but after I saw Blake sitting on the track like when I heard about Scott, I turned them both around. Christoffles had enough sense not to argue, seeing as I told him some of the truth and because he was in the locker room with me, but he didn't know that she knew I was something else. Something not human.

For the rest of two days I sat in the room. I gave Mac more rent money, seeing as I had no other use for it, but that was the only time I left the "house" for even a second.

Monday was awful.

I hated seeing Blake coming in my direction, look at me for a second, then split the other way. Ever since that one moment of eye contact, I never got to do it again. She always seemed to look past me, like I wasn't really there. Sure it bugged me a lot, but she had a reason for it. Did I not tell you what the humans would do if they found out what I am? I told you they would run, they would be scared. The only thing she didn't do was flail her arms and scream. This was juts killing me.

I sat down in Calculus and endured a boring lecture about something I already knew by heart while I was waiting for the bell to ring. I about jumped through my skin as it buzzed, but I was still the first one out of the class room. I even ignored Justin when he yelled goodbye to me. I hoped he knew it was nothing personal, I was just having a bad day.

I saw in my normal spot as usual, but Blake didn't sit there like she did all the time. Instead she took Erik's normal seat where he used to until he died. When I looked back at her she wasn't looking at me, but I knew she knew I was watching her. I saw a movement of a flinch, but that was it. Other than that she was very still. I had never seen a human sit so still before, but she looked like she had a lot on her mind.

"So is he in jail or what?" I heard Amanda whisper.

I didn't turn around to look at her, that would have given me away, but I just acted like I was listening to Mr. Decker, as strained to hear every word in detail. I tried to picture Blake's face as she said these things, what she might be thinking.

Blake sighed. "Yeah. Someone called the police saying they found him right where he-" she stopped suddenly, but started right back up. A normal human wouldn't have caught the mistake, but I did, and I'm sure Amanda did too. "Where I left him. Then I told the police about what happened, and now he's locked up and away from me."

"How did you get away?"

Blake hesitated for a moment. I knew her gears were grinding in her head, trying to think of all the details and to give an answer that fit. She was smart, she would think of something.

"I jammed my knee into his face a couple times before he knew what was going on, and then I ran. He started shooting at me from close by, but he was so drunk he missed terribly." Blake laughed shortly and without humor, but she was trying, at least, to act normal.

The bell rang and she was off with Amanda. They didn't look back and I didn't see them until study hall. I sat with them, but to Blake, I was never born. She didn't talk to me, look at me, or anything. I simply wasn't there to her. I was, but she was trying so hard not to show she cared.

"What did you do over the weekend, Logan?" Amanda asked. She was the only who talked to me at this table directly anymore.

"Who cares?" Kyle snorted, but I didn't look at him either.

"I ran, a lot, and then hung out with Lily and Christoffles."

"Who names their son that?" Jenna spoke up, eyeing me. She winked and I felt her leg brush mine under the table.

"Stop." I told her. "You're pretty and nice, but I don't want you like that. I'm already…uh, taken, I guess."

That was the only time I saw Blake's eyes for the rest of the day. They met mine for just a second, but what I saw there cut me deep. There was no spark in her eyes other than hatred. I saw that she didn't care or anything. I saw that she didn't want me or wanted me around.

She wanted me dead.

I pushed away from the table and walked off. I couldn't take this, but it didn't matter to me at this point. I just needed air, and I needed it now. I pushed through the front lobby doors, ignoring the staff that wanted to stop me. I was about to fly off in the middle of day, not caring that people were watching, but at the last minute I thought better of it. That was the reason I was angry in the first place wasn't? Showing off and making Blake think I'm a monster and a freak. I might be a freak, but I'm no monster, not anymore.

I stopped turned around and went back into the school. I told the receptionists that I had left something in my car that was important, but I couldn't find it. They believed me, this time anyway.

I avoided the library and went straight to my locker to wait for lunch. I fished some money from my book bag and waited for the bell to ring. When time didn't go by fast enough I started to read my science book. Yah that shows you how bored I am to stoop to reading text books. Pretty darn bored if you ask me.

The bell finally rang and I walked slowly to the cafeteria. Kids passed me by, no longer staring at the new kid anymore. I was old news. I could already tell the whispers were about Jeremy and his obscene gesture to Blake. Many weren't surprised, but I even heard a few girls say they wouldn't have turned them down. Sluts.

I stopped at the bathroom and grabbed a quick drink before returning to the hallway, but I stopped midst ride as Blake walked down the hallway, alone. It was like a slow motion moment in my mind. She walked past me, her hair trailing behind her, sending that warm smell of shampoo right towards me. Her blood was just as appealing, but it was drier than normal, more of a burning smell. Blake stepped with such grace, such beauty, it was hard for me not to kiss her, but that time was over now. And if I'm right, which I hope I'm not, I've just lost my chance with her.

I watched her go just as Justin came from the boys bathroom. He followed my gaze and nudged me in the arm.

"You like her huh?" Justin said simply, wearing that grin he always had on.

"Yeah." it was simple, but there was no need to go into detail. Blake would never be mine. I wasn't human and she wasn't demon. We could never be.

Justin didn't say anything else. He walked with me to lunch where we sat alone until Lily and Christoffles joined us the conversation was slow and very unproductive for my taste, but I wasn't helping. I just sat and stared at Blake, looking away quickly if she turned her head my way, but she never did. I just watched her eat, watched her breathe. I felt like a stalker, but its all I could think of doing.

I didn't notice it was time to leave, when Christoffles dragged me to my feet. When I looked around the cafeteria was empty and Blake had been gone for several minutes. I was just staring at the place where she had been, wishing she would look at me.

Blake ignored me the rest of the day, as normal, and during practice, even though we were running partners, you never would have guessed. She ran behind me, not paying attention. As soon as the whistle was blown, she stopped and sprinted towards the coach, trying to get as far away from me as possible.

"Listen up, guys." Coach said. "Big meet tomorrow so rest up. I want Logan in the front. No mercy on these guys. I think we can blow them away."

"Logan!" Amanda yelled. "Want go out to eat?"

I looked at the sound of her voice coming from the parking lot. She was waving her arms around, trying to get my attention. There were a few snickers about her that I didn't quite understand, but once I looked at what she was wearing, yeah I got it.

She was wearing a pink wife beater (I invented that by the way-don't ask how), trying to show off her skinny waist. If her skirt got any shorter I swear…I mean who was she to dress that way? And then to ask me out to dinner? Was she trying to get to me?

Lily nudged me in the shoulder, pushing me forward.

"You planned this didn't you?" skepticism was in my voice. She just smiled knowingly. I started jogging toward her. "You owe me!" I called over my shoulder.

When I reached her, Amanda took my hand and pulled me towards her. She pressed her lips to mine, shocking me. I froze as her hands wound around my neck.

I heard a few whistles.

I pushed her away gently and looked for the person I wanted Amanda to be most right now. Blake was staring at Amanda. Her face was full of hurt and anger. If I didn't know better I'd say she was jealous, but not even I'm that stupid.

"Don't do that." I told her. She laughed and kept her hand in mine. I tried to pull it away, but I couldn't break her steel grasp. Stupid vampire strength.

"Why not?" Amanda asked all sweet and innocently. "Trust me, its working."

"What's working?" but she didn't answer. She just kept a hold of my hand until we got to my car. I will never understand women and their train of thought, but no man ever will so its okay.

Dinner was nice. For my sake she hunted a few animals and strayed form the human blood for just one night. There wasn't really any talking, our mouths were always full. When I looked over at her for the second time, I couldn't help but laugh.

She gave me that impatient look and put her hands on her hips. I rolled my eyes, slipping my shirt off over my head. I put it to her face, wiping some of the blood that dried to it. She laughed, but mostly she couldn't keep her eyes off me. Now I don't do that to sound cocky, I just meant that she really couldn't keep her eyes off me.

"Thanks."

"No problem." I tried to act like I didn't notice her sudden change of body posture. Amanda had flipped like a switch. All of a sudden she's all flirty and sexy around me. Sometimes I couldn't help but look at her as well. I mean she was drop dead gorgeous (ha-ha dead)and she rocked any outfit she had on, but for some reason, my eyes didn't like her the way they did when they were fixed on Blake.

Since our little short dinner was over, I dropped her off and her house, which was freakin huge by the way, and went down a road I never thought I would go down.

Turning on a strange street, I found a few apartments. They were nice and cozy, sweet and warm. I'm sure they would drain my money in one month, but somehow she was able to make up some rent.

I shut my door and walked causally up to the front desk. I tried to seem normal, you know, not the freaky stalker type, which I'm not. I just don't want to people to get the wrong idea about me.

"Can I help you?" did old ladies work every where around this town? I couldn't sweet talk her, but maybe I could try to work my charm. Like a grandson charm. I don't really know, all I knew really was that I needed to talk to Blake and I knew she would be here.

"Yes, I'm looking for Blake Winters."

She looked up at me. If she saw anything suspicious, she hid it well. "Sure dear, she's up in room eleven." note to self: never live here. I could be some wacko, and she's just gives out information.

I rapped on her door, thankful that she didn't have that little hole you can see people with from the inside. I mean she wouldn't even answer if she did.

When Blake opened the door, I took in her face quickly. Her cheeks were white, her eyes were puffy red, and tears were washing down her face rapidly. I had no clue what caused her to cry so hard, but when I found out…

Blake's face grew hard in a second. "Go to hell." then she slammed the door in my face. I stood there like a moron once again, and I had no idea what to do next.

I turned and walked down the steps closest to her, thinking of the last time I went to hell. Yeah, it wasn't fun.


	16. Chapter 15

15.

I gave up.

Yeah you heard me right. I gave up on Blake. Obviously she doesn't want to be with me. I can't do anything about how she feels, so what's the point? Everything's the point! But I cant do a damn thing about it. So I just gave up.

Now I don't try. When I see her in the halls, I don't smile. When our eyes connect, I show absolutely no interest. When she sits by me, I act like I'm clueless. We don't talk, we don't move, and its basically like an awkward post-break up situation, without the break up part. I just don't do anything. I don't make an attempt, and I think it makes it better for her. I mean I can _see_ how much she doesn't want me. Sometimes I can feel the resentment vibrating off her, telling me she wants me dead. It hurts. So much.

Months past without anything happening that's major. We won our conference with Cross Country. Of course Lily, Christoffles and I were our best runners, but I was shocked to see how well Blake did, not that I really cared anymore about her and her life. I play basketball now, and from the looks of it, I'm the best thing that's happened to this team. Not that we suck, I'm just better than all of them put together. Sometimes I look out into the stands and I see Blake just sitting there alone. Then when I blink, she disappears.

Now here's the most shocking news of all. This is going to scare most of you, but brace yourselves. I'm dating Amanda. Yeah I know, what am I thinking? But she's the only one close enough to understand what I'm going through. I never told anyone about Blake's knowledge of me, but she gets the pain I'm in with Blake. Somehow we keep each other together. Her loss of Erik, my loss of Blake. It gets really hard, but one day I almost thought I saw a flicker of hope in her eyes.

We were sitting in Chemistry together, like always, not talking to each other. Not a word, not a movement. Then she turned her head to look at am. She twisted her whole body after that. She had a weird expression on her face. It looked like she was trying really hard to say something, but in the end she shook her head and faced the other direction.

Not in time I had hardened my heart, not willing to let Blake in, or give me hope. Obviously I didn't make a wall strong enough because when she looked at me, it fell. I saw something in her eyes, the beauty of her face, and at that moment I wanted to tell her the truth. Not just about me, but how I felt about her. I wanted to tell Blake I love her. But the fire inside of me was squashed as soon as she decided against it. I knew she was going to in the end, but like I've been saying through this whole story, that doesn't mean it hurt any less.

So I'm with Amanda. Most people were shocked. I even saw a tiny fight between Blake and her, but when I came into view, she rushed off. Amanda told me it was about Erik and nothing about me. At that moment I believed her. I took her hand and walked with her to class. Now Blake sits alone in our table, while I take Erik's old seat.

The only thing that made me feel better was that Jeremy was sent to prison. I mean real prison. A few years for sexual abuse and even a rape charge. I couldn't help but smile when I heard the news from Lily, whom hasn't been speaking to me too often anymore.

"Logan." Amanda snapped her fingers in front of my face, bringing back to the present. To be truthful, which I've told you that I hate the truth, time had really flown by. Sometimes it feels like I'm not really awake in my body, that someone is just dragging me along.

"Huh? What?" I looked at her and then at the class, which was staring at me, all except Blake.

"Thank you for joining the real world, Logan." Miss Chapman spoke slowly, fighting a small smile. "Could you please name off ever element on the Periodic Table?"

I sighed and ran the words off my head. She nodded when I had finished, then turned and began her teaching again. God I hate school.

Amanda smirked. I jabbed her in the ribs with my elbow, but that just made her laugh even more. I smiled, not knowing that I actually felt some what happy. I know what your thinking. How can I not feel how Amanda can make me a little happy? Well the truth is I was so messed up over Blake, that I hadn't realized I could be happy with her. I just didn't want to be.

I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned, Blake's head snapped in the other direction. I sighed and felt my mood drop like a dead possum on the high way. I really have to stop watching Hannah Montana.

The day was over before I even realized it. I practiced with the guys on my team, not really paying attention to the game, but even with my distraction, I was still playing better than NBA basketball players.

Amanda drove me home, made me shower before we went out for a real dinner (or should I say fake since were eating human food?), so I had to. She waited patiently for me while I tried to tame my hair, but like normal, I couldn't.

The only thing odd about tonight was that I hadn't seen Lily or Christoffles all day. I wonder where they could be? Hopefully not sucking on each others faces. Ew. You will not believe what image just popped into my head. Trust me, be glad you don't have a guys mind.

I walked out of the bathroom, all clean and wearing the only thing I own: Black shirt and pants. Amanda was wearing a simple white tank top and blue jeans. She reminded me of a pure country girl, so it made me smile. She winked at me and grabbed my hand, dragging me out the door.

"Where's your car?" I looked around, looking for her white Sentra, but it was no where in sight.

"Were flying." she stated. I looked at her in confusion until it dawned on me. She wanted a ride. For a minute I was about to say no, but seeing how simple she looked and how sweet, I gave in.

I extended my wings that were blacker than pitch, and felt the relief of being able to stretch them out and warm the muscles up. I checked around, almost thinking Blake would be here to run and scream again, but there was no one in sight.

"Hold on tight." I wrapped my arm around her waist, and held on tight. She grasped my arms as well and I felt her body go rigid so I could fly better and keep a good hold.

I took in a deep breath and welcomed the sky as I launched form the ground. It took a few good pumps to get off the ground, but once I was higher, I felt it get easier to fly with this extra luggage.

I heard Amanda's laughter as we flew higher. I let go of her arms, just to freak her out, and then swooped down to grab her again. She just kept laughing the whole time. I felt at ease here in my domain. This was where I was born to be. The place where I belonged. And man did it feel good to fly again, even though it was practically snowing. Well the cold still felt nice up here.

When I landed in a dark alley, I shook the ice of my wings and pulled them back in. I shivered as the snow hit my back, but I felt better once we were in the warm place of Texas Roadhouse.

We got a seat fairly quickly, thanks to the tip I gave to a waitress so I didn't have to wait an hour. Who needed to wait when you had looks like these?

Amanda nibbled on some bread while I was already shoving my third down my throat. She looked at me with light amusement.

"Don't choke."

I narrowed my eyes at her with a fake glare. "Wouldn't dream of it."

She chuckled until another waitress had come up.

"What can I get you?" she said. I looked at her name tag which said: Amy. She had a fairly nice face, but a little too much make up.

I looked over at my date. She nodded to me, telling me there was no way she was ever going to force human food down her throat. She can't eat it like I can. I just found that out. How stupid can a guy get? Don't answer that.

When Amy walked away, Amanda leaned forward. "You seem tense. What's on your mind, demon?"

I rolled my eyes at her, but knowing she was right. I forgot about how perceptive Amanda had been, even in Italy. She was just so talented about knowing when something was wrong, or something was bugging. It was one of the things I loved most about her.

"So many things."

She huffed. "So spill. I'm a girl, you know. I need to hear the juicy gossip."

I gave her the your-so-not-helping-right-now look. She held her palms up with a mischievous smile. "Go on." she urged.

"I don't know where Lily of Chris is. I mean they can go out and I'm not their keeper, but its not like them to just not come home or even say hi to me today."

"Maybe their too busy making out." so I wasn't the only one thinking that.

"Yeah but still." I paused for a moment, watching the waitress slide over our drinks, but right then I hadn't realized that we didn't order any drinks. I should have seen the sign that not only was I being watching, but someone I knew was watching me. Maybe if I had, this whole story would have turned out so much differently.

I took a sip before I went on. "I just have a feeling that something isn't right."

"A feeling that your family isn't right, or that this whole deal with Blake isn't right?" Amanda asked, her mossy green eyes pointed directly to mine.

"Uh…"

She snorted. "Oh _please_. I see the way you look at her, Logan. I'm not a moron. I know you love her."

I looked down at the table. "I just want you to understand that this was never a pity thing. It just sort of happened."

Amanda held up her hand for me to stop. "I know that Logan. In a way, I still love Erik, even though I can't be with him." she looked down. I grabbed her hand. This was what kept us together. We helped mend each others broken hearts.

We, well me actually, ate dinner and then I flew us home. I flew faster, wanting to get out of the chilling cold. I dropped her off at her place. I left her on the porch.

"Good bye." I kissed her on the cheek swiftly before taking off again into the night.

I had so much to sift through. Did part of me love Amanda? A very tiny part, but yes. It was no where near the way I loved Blake. I mean my heart yearned for her. With every beat it seemed like it screamed her name. it kept wondering why I wasn't with her, but I just couldn't right now. I mean this girl has become my own little addiction in the few shorts months I had known her. I had been wrong all along.

Vampires can fall in love. Mostly because I just did.

I just want to be near her every second of the day. I wanted to hold her in my arms, just to know that she was safe. I wanted her to love me for me. I wanted her to know the truth about me, even if she hated it. I mean is it so bad to love someone like me? Is it so hard to love a demon? Well considering I am one, it might be different from her point of view.

She ran from me when she saw what I was. Not that might just be from shock, but then she told me to go to hell. Call me stupid, but I'm guessing she wanted me to leave her alone.

I just can't! I have dreamt of her every night from the moment I saw her. I haven't wanted her from the first sight, even though I didn't want to tell my own self the truth. I want her to want me. I want her to love me. I would get down on my knees and beg her. I would give her the world if that meant she would give me chance. I would fight anything or anyone, even if meant certain death. Only if it meant she would give me some sort of love.

I unlocked my door and fell on the bed. No one was there but me. I flipped the TV on and buzzed through some channels. There was nothing on other than news and some other crap. I lay on the bed, staring up at the wall I had already memorized.

There was a knock on the door. It took a minute to force myself off that bed. For a moment I thought I had waited too long and the person was gone, but there was another round of knocks. Just from the sound of the vibrating wood I could tell who ever was on the other side was nervous.

I opened the door, not bothering to look out that little hole in the door to see who it is, and felt my eyes go wide. Any wider and my eyes might have fallen from their sockets.

"Can I come in?" the person asked, clearly nervous. I nodded slowly, not able to speak.

Then for the second time ever, Blake winters walked into my little "house".

She told me five words that would make me launch into a tale I wanted to explain to her for so long.

Blake took a deep breath before she said them, each word distinct. "Tell me the truth."


	17. Chapter 16

16.

Clearly Blake was uncomfortable. She didn't stop moving, and she was always looking at her clothes, her fingers picking at her shirt. That was the greatest sign of discomfort you could get.

At first I didn't say anything. I sort of just watched her, as if trying to believe she was really here. After I got over the urge to pinch myself to see if I was really awake or still dreaming, I kept looking at the door, expecting Lily to pop in soon or what ever.

How would they react to it? What would they think of Blake when they knew that she knew the truth about us? After a little bit I thought, I thought it was safer to just not tell them. Yes I have serious trust issues, what teenager doesn't around their family? That's what I thought.

"Are you just going to sit there or are you going to start explaining." Blake's eyes reached mine. For a moment I couldn't breathe. All I felt was the love I had for her, the urge of wanting to touch her face, of wanting to kiss her deeply.

I shook my head, ridding myself of those thoughts, for the moment at least. "What do you want to know?"

She gave me a look. "Don't play stupid, Logan. Tell me the truth." her voice was sharp at the end. I never saw the way her eyes flared when she got mad. How there was a little tinge of red around her pupils, but it was gone in a flash so I must be imagining things.

I opened my mouth and then shut it. There was something else between us. Sure I felt the love I have for her, of wanting to hold her in my arms, but there was another feeling. I couldn't quite place it, but it was almost like two ends of a magnet, pushing each other away. Why I had that sort of feeling in me, I had no idea, and I didn't want to find out.

"Well?"

I cracked a smile at her impatient tone. "The truth…" I mumbled, trying the words on my tongue. How could I even begin to tell her? Where would I start? Do I leave out the details from before I had a soul, or do I give her everything? Blake deserves the truth, yes, but what will she think of me when she hears all of it?

"I'm dangerous." I told her, trying to bide time. It didn't work.

"No dip, Sherlock." she moved closer to me on the bed. It was getting harder to concentrate with her so close to me. "Tell me what you are." she breathed. I took in the dry scent of her breath, of her skin. She smelled just like the fall. Almost like the burning of wood on a fire.

I took a deep breath and I told her.

Personally I would love to tell you all the details of our discussion. You know every question, ever look on her face as I said different things, but the truth is, if I did, I would take up this whole book. Blake had such an opinion and so many questions, we stayed up half the night just talking about my life back home.

So I told her the beginning of my story. I told her of my life back home in Italy. I tried to tell her as much truth as I could without telling her gory details for the days without my soul. I kept up my whole story, only pausing to take a deep breath. It was like I had prepared my whole life to tell her my story. Like I had waited my whole life for her, because I really had. I have waited for someone like her for so long. And now that I have her, there is no way I can let her go.

She was thoughtful during the duration of my speech. Blake didn't grimace, or look away from me the entire time. She kept her eyes locked on mine. She probed for every ounce of detail when I said one sentence. Of course she didn't interrupt, so I gave her enough time to ask anything she wanted. From the look of her face, I could tell some of my answers upset her, but she still kept going deeper into my life. It seemed like even she wanted to know the life of Logan Masters.

Of course the look on her face when I told her I was half demon-half vampire made her blink. She looked puzzled, but I so wish I had a camera for that look. So like a dork with a photographic memory, I mentally took a picture of this moment.

When I was silent she was too. I could see her mouthing words to herself, fitting everything together. She was trying to take in everything and not leave anything out from my story. Of course that was only the first half of it. She would have to come back another time for the rest.

"Is that everything?" Blake asked, bringing my attention back to her.

I smiled. "Not even close." I looked at the clock that wasn't allowed to be hanging on the wall, but was there anyway. "But you should go, its getting late." I got up to open the door for her and walk her to her car.

Blake turned around before getting in. "Can I come back tomorrow?" I tried to hold back my surprise and utter glee that she still wanted to come back even after all I told her.

"I'd like that." I shut her door and then she rolled down her window.

"Goodnight Logan Masters." Blake drove away.

I walked back into my room in a daze. I have never felt so happy in my entire life. Blake knew the truth, and she didn't run, she didn't scream. She listened and she wanted to come back tomorrow! How could this get any better?

"You seem to be in a good mood." Lily's voice startled me.

When I turned I saw my sister and my best friend hand in hand. I smiled at them, forcing the image of Blake out of my mind in an instant. I had gotten real good at this, so I knew Lily could do nothing about reading my mind.

"Yep." then I turned back to them. "Where have you too been?"

Christoffles answered. "We went on a date. We did all this cool stuff like-" I held up my hand.

"I really don't want to know what you two _did_ on your date." I said, walking back to the bed and laying down. I saw Lily's face flush red.

"Get your mind out of the gutter." her told me.

"Too late." I cracked a smile. There was no way either of them could kill my good mood.

Lily rolled her eyes. "A date with Amanda?"

"Yes, but I think I'm gonna "dump" her so to say."

"Why?"

I didn't answer her.

Now some say that school would be better because Blake knew part of the truth, blah blah blah. That she would act nicer to me and be more of a lady. That she would at least make a conversation that didn't start with 'who the hell are you?' but no. Of course not.

So here I sat, next to Amanda, and _not Blake_. I so wanted to sit by her. I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted to smile at her and tell her that I loved her, but to Blake right now, I didn't exist.

Now at first I thought that the whole Blake coming over to my place incident had been fake or a dream. I believed that it had never really happened when I first saw her face. But then she looked at me, and I knew it had happened. The way her eyes just touched mine with a light expression and not the I'm-gonna-murder-you look.

Now she didn't talk to me all day, not one word. We never smiled at each other, we never acknowledged that we knew each other were there. It was like we didn't exist. But as she sat in the bleachers during the whole practice, waiting for me to get done, I knew she wanted to come with me. That she wanted to be with me.

For now anyway.

I locked the equipment room and turned around, Blake was still sitting in her same seat, still watching me intently. I walked over to her, throwing a towel over my shoulder that I wiped my sweat off with.

"All this time I just thought you were a great athlete. Now I know you're a cheater." Blake's voice was teasing as she shook her head. She chuckled and got up. She paused at the door. "You coming or what?"

I followed her in an instant. When I popped by her side with inhuman speed, she flinched, but she smiled again.

I drove her to my place, which was, thankfully, empty. I unlocked the door to go in, but when I turned around I found that Blake was still by my Toyota. She jerked her chin over by the woods and walked in, making me follow.

"You said you weren't done. Keep going, fly boy."

"How are you okay with this?" I asked her, grabbing her shoulder and making her look at me. "I mean you ran the first time you saw the real me. Why not run now? I wouldn't stop you." as I finished the sentence I realized I sounded like I wanted her to run. In a way I did. It was too dangerous to be with someone like me.

"You surprised me is all." she started to walk deeper into the woods again, her feet crunching through the snow. She shivered in her jacket, so I gave her mine. "Thanks. But I'm good with weird, Logan. Besides, you looked terrifying then. You look more human now."

I made her stop again. I had to do it. If she thought for even one second that I was safe, that I was human, that I was normal, she was wrong. I could kill her before she could blink. She didn't understand how breakable she is.

So I felt grow long, into the teeth people picture with normal vampires. I knew how my eyes would look. They would look blacker than anything. They would be like a black hole, sucking in anything that got too close. They were mesmorizing to any onlooker, trying to make them come to me. Make them an easy prey.

I extended my wings and shifted my hands into claws. I pushed her against a tree. "Do you think I'm human now?" my voice purred. It was seductive and used everything I had once to get prey. Mainly young women. I pressed my lips to her soft neck. I slid my tongue over her jugular, then I felt her shiver. "Am I normal now?"

That's when I felt it.

I felt the rush of blood under her skin. I felt the way her body giving in to mine, even though I knew she was afraid. And the sad part was that I was giving into it too.

I heard the pounding of her heart, pushing blood through her body. I wanted it so bad. I hadn't tasted human blood in so long. Just one bite…

The monster in me was growing and I couldn't stop it. I pushed her harder against the tree, pressing my body against hers. She felt so warm. Then without a second thought I bit her neck, sucking the precious blood I hadn't had in so long. Then I began to drain the one I loved.

_And I couldn't stop_.


	18. Chapter 17

17.

I groaned with pleasure as I sucked the blood deeply from Blake. I knew this had been a bad idea. I shouldn't have even gotten close enough to Blake like that. Now I was going to kill her-

No!

Yes. This is what I needed to badly. This was what I wanted. I felt so much power and energy from Blake. Just the sweetness of her blood made me feel like I could do anything I wanted. And if that meant taking her life so be it.

As I drank more I felt the happiness inside me that I hadn't felt in a long time. I slowed down, basking in the rich thickness of her blood. But was this truly happiness? I mean I had wanted this for so long, but there was a reason that I stopped wasn't there? I couldn't remember anything. The monster in me was taking over everything.

So I didn't think. I just let my old senses take over. I let the predator in me have over. But for one moment, just one moment, a thought burst through my head, but that one thought was enough to make me remember.

I'm killing her.

I shoved away from her without a second thought and landed on my back. I put my head up against a tree, breathing heavily. I knew I should go help Blake, but if I went any where near her before I calmed down, I'll kill her. Not maybe, I _will_ kill her. My mind is still raging that I hadn't done that yet.

It took only ten seconds to calm myself. Then I was all over Blake, trying to figure out how much blood I had taken, how alive she was, or if she needed a doctor. I felt her pulse, which was weak, but still strong enough to tell me that she didn't need a doctor. Funny. I thought I had taken more blood than that. She should be dead, but she isn't. But she was unconscious and man was she out cold.

Remorse flooded through me. The pain was terrible. For a moment I thought about killing myself, but I knew that wouldn't help anything. It would just be more of a mess for Blake to clean up and I didn't want to have to put her through more hell today.

So I held her. I wrapped my arms around her and kept her warm. I held Blake and felt one single tear fall down my cheek. What had I done? How had it gone this far? So gripped her tighter, wanting her to wake up and say she loved me, but I knew that wasn't going happen. Blake was going to hate me, I just know it. I brushed her hair away from her face, watching how relaxed her pale face looked. Her cheeks were a little flushed, so knew blood was returning to her, but that didn't make my guilt any go away. It actually made it worse by reminding me why she needed blood to come back to her in the first place. God, I'm an idiot.

After the first hour and she didn't wake up, I lifted her carefully in my arms, cursing the strength I had from her blood. I set her carefully on the bed, still grateful that Lily and Chris were always gone.

I paced the room, wishing she would just wake up and yell at me already. I sat next to her on the bed after another hour had passed and just stared at the wall. Again I put my arms around her waist, trying to will her to wake up.

It was fourteen minutes later that she stirred.

When she opened her eyes, she let them blink for a few times, still looking like she hadn't had sleep in a very long time. She wiggled in my arms and I let her move around and stretch. When she completely opened her eyes and looked at me, I saw the very thing I had been dreading.

Fear.

"Now do you get it, Blake?" I turned from her gaze. "I'm not anything good. I almost killed you back there."

Blake's hand flew to her throat, rubbing over the bite mark I put there. "You didn't kill me." she stated, her voice sounded afraid, grateful, and puzzled at the same time.

"I didn't even mean to bite you. It just…I don't know, it just happened. And I'm sorry."

She busted out laughing.

I wheeled towards her in a second. My face was full of pain and horror and she was _laughing_? What the heck was wrong with her? I had almost killed her and she's here having a laugh attack.

"You're sorry for biting me," she laughed again, "And you don't think there's anything good in you? You didn't kill me and you don't think you still have humanity inside you?"

Okay now I got her point, but I didn't like it. She was right, of course she was. If I was a real monster without a soul, I would have killed her in a second, or chased her around to placate her, but you get my point. Or hers I guess. Anyway what she was saying was that I'm not all bad.

But I'm bad enough.

I reached my hand out to make her sit down and she flinched away from it. She really looked at my face this time, and she has another dose of fear in her blue eyes.

I walked over to the mirror and saw what made her afraid. Not only were my teeth still bigger than normal, they were blood stained with her blood. Why hadn't I thought about wiping it off? Wouldn't I know who much it would affect her?

"Are you afraid of me?" I looked into the mirror and saw Blake sitting behind me, her eyes boring into mine. I turned around and leaned on the dresser.

"A little." she told the truth. Good. Now we were getting somewhere.

I sighed. "How are you feeling?"

"A little drained." she chuckled under her breath.

"Do you think this is a game! Don't think for one second that I'm not a terrifying monster! I hate what I am. I should have killed myself years ago."

She looked taken aback, but her face grew strong like she was lit with a fire. "Look in the mirror." she walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder hesitantly. "What do you see?"

"Myself."

She laughed without humor. "Really? Because I see so much to you than that. I see the pain in you eyes from centuries of living on the run from your home. I see the walls you built over time to keep everyone out, and you're still not able to let anyone in. I see how hard life has made you, that you're not willing to trust anybody, especially your own family. In a way I see how old time has made you.

"I also see that you're special. Logan, you may be unable to see it, but you are more than a monster. You may think of yourself as a demon, as something that can't be saved, but in a way, you've already saved yourself and so much more. You chose a life of good and not evil.

"When I look at you I see a boy trying to be human, trying to fit in. with you trying to be inconspicuous, it makes you even more noticeable. I see your own beauty and grace, your strength and weakness, your anger and happiness, Logan I can see it all! So don't tell me I don't understand anything about you, because I'm sure I just told you more about yourself that you even knew."

My mouth was wide open, astounded at what she just said. Blake saw that in me? After all I had done to her, she could still see something good in me? Something worth saving or that has already been saved?

"That's who I really see when I look at Logan Masters. When I look at you." Blake said. She sounded so sincere, like she actually meant it. And at this point I believed she did. Now it was dangerous to do what we were doing, but I did it anyway.

I put my hand on her face, the other cupping her cheek. I pushed the hair away and smiled. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Blake. If you see all that in me, then I guess you do understand a part of me. But I am still so dangerous, Blake."

She put her hand on top of mine and held it there to her face. "I know that, Logan. I'm not an idiot. But I'd rather die than live without you."

"You got that from Twilight didn't you?" I asked her.

She beamed. "Edward was my favorite vampire, but it looks like I have a new one."

I felt s surge of joy when she called me a vampire. I still knew she was afraid. But for her to know the truth, well it made me feel whole. And right there I knew she had been the thing missing from my life. She was the one thing I was trying to find, and now that I have it, I don't want to give it up. Not now, not ever.

But I was sure she didn't love me.

"What's that look for?"

I looked at her. "Its nothing." I lied, quite well actually. So well she believed me. S[he] be[lie]ve[d]. That fits here doesn't it?

"Are you going to tell me more of your past?" she asked innocently.

I smiled and let her out of my arms. She wasn't mine and she would never be. But for the second in my arms I felt that same thing I had earlier. The feeling that this still wasn't right. I shook it off.

"If that's what you want."

Then I told Blake more about my life. I kept out more details, keeping it brief, but I stayed to the truth as much as possible. I didn't need to hide things here since by this time I had my soul, but I still did some bad stuff. Sometimes I screwed up badly, I mean really badly (Really badly? Does that sound right to you? Oh well.).

Again she listened so well. She was giving me much more than she should, but I saw she was happy. She was almost glowing. Well she was always beautiful, but there was something there inside of her. I mean she was on fire. Her hair was reddish in the sun streaming through the window, her skin was shiny, but not the oily shiny. Just shiny shiny. Everything about her just took my breath away.

When I finished she looked at me, expecting me to say more, but that was my story. I told her how she had affected me that first day and why I seemed to bipolar, and it looked like she had understood.

I looked into her blue eyes. They were clear as the water in the ocean, shining at me like my own little sun. They sparkled like blue diamonds, but even diamonds looked like coal compared to their beauty. And that was just her eyes. Her face was so much more. Blake was just so perfect.

Now this would have been the most perfect to tell her I loved her. I didn't say a word about that part during the entire story. I didn't mention how much she meant to me, even though I think she knew, but I knew the rules about this.

You never tell a girl you love them, if you're not sure that they love you back. It could end badly. She could freak and say that she isn't ready for that and leave you. Or she could be waiting for you to say that, and then leave you because you didn't say it sooner and she didn't know that you loved her because you never told her. It could end both ways because girls are just so unpredictable and you can't do anything major that could surprise them.

So I didn't say it. Little did I know at that point though, she was wishing with all her heart that I had said it. But I didn't, hoping I could save my own butt and not get in trouble. That just goes to show that I'm stupid. If you haven't gotten that point through this entire book, congrats, you're more of an idiot than I am, which is hard to do, trust me. And you'd think I'd learn to be less stupid, but I don't think its possible.

Blake let herself out, her face looking a little sad, but I didn't really notice. I sat down in the bed, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted.

I fell asleep, still having no clue where Lily or Chris was and not knowing that the hair on my neck was standing, trying to tell me that I was being worse than watched. I was being tracked. I was being hunted down by a vampire.

It also was trying to warn me of the dangers for Blake and I that was ahead of us. It was so close. It told me my life was going to change.

I woke with a strange pit in my stomach that my days with Blake were numbered.

If only I had listened to the signs…


	19. Chapter 18

18.

I was in big trouble. I mean some serious, humongous trouble. I'm talking trouble so big that even I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. This was bad, real bad.

I just made a girl angry with me. No not just a girl, a vampire girlfriend for technically cheating on her with her best friend. Big oops. Now I was sure that she was gonna kill me, because trust me, you never make a girl mad. Especially over another girl.

So when I saw her standing by my locker, I about jumped into the trash can and fled for my life. Is big bad Logan Masters afraid of a girl? Heck yes! They scare the crap out of me.

They're so moody on certain days on the month (You know what I'm talking about), if your eyes trail down when they are talking to you, they automatically assume you're staring at her breasts, when they ask you if their pants make their butts look big…well that's impossible to answer! You say no, they get mad. You say yes, they get mad. We just cant win with females! Then they tell you not to call them that night and the next day they're pissed because you didn't call or text them. I'm telling you, we might as well be gay. Wait never mind, I love girls. Not guys. Oh heck no, never will I like guys.

Girls also scare me because sometimes you can never tell them what you're actually feeling. You make jokes, but you can never be sure if they thought it was funny or if they're just laughing because they don't want to hurt your feelings. And they're just so…beautiful. Inside and out. I mean sometimes you meet a whore and what not, but most girls aren't like that. And they're just so sensitive. You say one tiny thing and that can either make her break down on the inside, or she can lash out and slap you. Oh and don't get me started about their slaps. I mean its like girls were made for slapping guys.

But the best thing I love about them is that they put on a brave face. They never want to seem weak, they never want to cry in front of others and they hold it in for as long as they can. Sometimes we don't understand how much one word can hurt them. It kills me to see it.

And right now I could tell that Amanda was strong. The way she stood in front of my locker with her foot tapping impatiently told me that. So the only reason I didn't make a break for it was because Blake was holding my hand.

Now that made me smile.

It had been two weeks since I had told Blake my secret, and so far I haven't even thought about regretting it. She had come over every day after practice and just sat with me and talked. It made me feel awesome to know that she trusted me enough to pour her heart out. Like the fact that she told me she cried when she found out I was dating Amanda.

"What?" I said, astounded that Blake had cried over me.

She blushed. "I liked you. And then I felt like I shoved you away and that I lost any chance with you."

That was one of the best conversations I had had with her.

Then when she told me that she dreamed about me every night since she met me. We laughed together when I told her I dreamed about her too.

But we stayed far away form the subject of love. I didn't know if she loved me, so I didn't want to say it. Yes I was chicken to tell a girl how I felt about her. Aren't we all?

But it was still nice. I was spending so much time with her…and no one knew about it. Not anyone. Not a soul. So this was why Amanda was mad…I was sure about it. Because today I decided to pick Blake up. And like any school, when a boy picks up a girl and brings her to school, they assumed something is going on. Which is ridicules. I mean there was something going on, but still.

We stopped right as we got to Amanda. She was frowning and she looked hurt.

"I guess it worked." Amanda said, breaking out into a huge smile.

"Yeah it worked." Blake blinked.

I looked at both of them, confused. "What worked!" I yelled, making a few students pause in mid step. "You kissed me and said it's working and I had no clue what you were talking about then and I have no clue what you're talking about now!"

Blake laughed. "Men." she snorted and laughed with Amanda.

I waited for them to tell me what was going on, but they just laughed again and walked away from me, leaving me standing there like a complete moron.

I grumbled to myself and sat next to Justin as normal, though I haven't spoken a word to him in months. So when I sat down next to him, I was surprised to see his happy face.

"Hey." he said brightly like nothing had happened or the course of weeks.

"Hey, Justin."

And that's all we said for the entire period.

I sat with Blake again in Chemistry and believe me when I say that we were the talk of the day. I mean ever conversation in the room was about us. Even the teacher kept looking at us with curious eyes.

But Blake didn't seem to notice, and quite frankly, neither did I. I was too busy looking at Blake and holding her hand, feeling how smooth and how soft and warm it was.

But I stopped thinking about it as soon as I remembered how her blood tasted in my mouth. It made me want to drink more of her. When I glanced at her neck I saw the scarf wrapped around it that I noticed for the first time. How cliché that she was wearing that. Well at least it wasn't in the middle of summer so it fit in.

Blake nudged her leg with mine. I smiled as she intertwined it with mine. It was so high school. But her leg was nice. I put my hand on her thigh and just left it there, not moving it. That was it. It made me so happy that she let me. For a moment I thought about how she would feel under me, how she would feel in my arms, how she would feel when I-I…uh never mind.

But that wasn't going to happen. I knew it. She wouldn't let me. I loved her and I wanted her to love me that way too, but I was sure she would never feel the same.

The bell rang.

Blake got up and waited for me to follow her out the door. I walked her to class and kissed her softly before I went to history. It was hard to stop because of the fire when ever we touched, but finally I broke away and walked to class, feeling a little light headed.

I couldn't wait for study hall or Spanish, believe it or not. I wanted Blake to be near me. And it was like I had never felt like this before. I mean I wanted to always be touching her. I had never felt the physical urge before in my life, but now it was ringing in my head loud and clear.

But I chose, for Blake's sake, not to answer it.

I wasn't going to be like Jeremy. I wasn't going to force her. I wasn't going to pressure her. When she's ready, she'll let me know, but until then I'll just have to wait.

Am I ready? You bet I am. Almost every guy is, but mine is for the right reasons. I love her and I want her to be happy. Yeah I know, right now you're going "awww" but it's the truth.

I couldn't hide a smile when I sat with her at lunch.

So at practice I was so ready for Blake to come over. My body wanted her like it had never wanted anything before. I made every shot, like I always do, but it seemed like even I was doing better today.

I drove her to my place as usual and just sat with her and talked. There was no stress to it and it wasn't awkward. Just two people talking like they had known each other their whole lives. Other than Blake, I had everything pushed out of my mind. Even the fact that I hadn't seen Lily or Christoffles in days, but I was with Blake right now. I couldn't worry about anything if I wanted to. My mind was solely on Blake, and when she was around, that's who it was gonna stay on.

"What about your parents?" she asked suddenly after a long pause of thought. Her ocean blue eyes looked up to meet mine. She had been playing with a string on the torn bed, but not she was focused on me.

I stiffened. Any talk about my parents were off limits. "What do you mean?" I tried to keep my voice calm.

She rolled over on her back, her face was now in my lap, looking up at me with a soft expression. "You didn't talk about them very much when you told me about your life." the sentence was so plain that it would have made me laugh, but I was too stressed to do that.

"I don't talk about them." my voice was starting to raise without my telling it to.

Blake sat up. "Can't you tell me anything a-"

Then I did something really stupid when I cut her off.

I rammed her into the wall by the bed. I held her shoulders in place so she couldn't move. "I don't talk about them. Got it?" I snarled at her, barring my teeth.

That's when I shoved myself from her, like when we were in the forest. I kept my eyes on hers, and all I could see in them was shock and fear.

I just leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath. I didn't look at anything other than Blake's frazzled face. I wanted to tell her so bad that I was sorry, but I was sure that if my mouth opened I would just yell at her again. I couldn't still the anger inside my body, ready to lash out at the first chance.

So to make sure it didn't get that chance, I kept my mouth shut. It was a very smart thing to do for the time being.

Blake looked away from my gaze and began to play with her hair, she looked down at her watch and then glanced at the door. She seemed to be debating some things, but I thought I knew what was going through her mind.

Blake swing her feet over the edge of the bed. She grabbed her bag and stuffed her phone inside. When she slipped her shoes on she proceeded to the door. She had he hand on the door knob when I grabbed her arm.

She whirled to look at me with a flicker of fear on her face, but it melted as soon as she saw my tortured expression.

I've been screwing this whole thing up. My anger, my blood lust, my every thing I felt for her. Its so over whelming and I couldn't control it. Again, girls scare me. The way they make you feel. How they are so sweet an innocent in their lives, how they care for you whether they want to or not. How they want to make you happy even if it hurts them so badly.

"What?" Blake snapped, jerking her arm from me. Yes, right there in the flicker of emotion of her eyes. I was right this time. She was trying to protect me. Now you may not understand how, but we do. She knew how much she overwhelmed me, she knew how much strength it took not to kill her. Blake knew that if leaving me would keep me sane and not betray everything I had worked so hard for in my life, she would do it.

Its one of the other things I loved most about her.

"Don't go." two words, but it might as well been a whole letter of paragraphs and pages of how it killed me for her to be here and how it would hurt worse to see her actually go.

Blake jerked her face up, to look into my black eyes, drowning in the nothingness (is that a word?) of my soul. She fell into my arms with a sigh of yearning.

I laughed breathlessly, knowing I had won. I stepped backwards and fell onto the bed, her body still safe in my arms. Yes, she was safe here. I promised myself then that I wouldn't let her get hurt anymore. Her heart or her body. I would protect her like a warrior would his queen. She was my queen, and she would always be.

We just lay there, looking at each other. She propped herself up on her elbow so she could see my face clearly. Blake leaned down slowly, and pressed her lips softly to mine. She meant it to be gentle, but it only started that way.

Then it was fire.

I couldn't feel anything that wasn't Blake. She was all I could see, taste, feel. She was all I had. I rolled over and pressed my body against hers. I put her face between my hands and kissed her again, trailing down her neck, but drinking her blood wasn't any where near my mind.

I put my hands on her arms pushing them above her head and just held her hands while I kissed her. When she released my hands, she all but ripped my shirt off. Blake's fingers traced my chest, my back, and even my wings.

I pulled her closer to me, as if she could get any closer, but that still wasn't enough. My hands fumbled with the buttons of her shirt, but before I got to the second one, I froze.

I sat up more quickly than anyone could have imagined.

Blake looked startled. "What?" as if by instinct she checked the room for some unknown danger. "What's wrong?"

I smiled, still on my knees, on the bed. I pulled Blake to me with a smile on my face.

"I love you." I told her with so much feeling I thought I was going to cry. I pushed a strand of hair from her face once again, wanting to be able to see those beautiful eyes, to see the gorgeous face that I fell in love with. The face that I needed so badly.

Blake, confused for a moment, finally processed the words I had spoken to her. She put her hands in my hair and brought my face just inches to hers, where it made it hard to breathe. Blake closed her eyes and sighed. Then with a smile that made my breathing go into double time, she said four simple words that made me the happiest man alive, that made my heart stop beating for a few seconds.

"I love you, too, Logan."


	20. Chapter 19

19.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Blake asked, looking over the edge of a large cliff. She stepped back a few steps, and turned to me, as if expecting me to push her off like a guy would do if she was standing by a pool.

I snorted. "Safe? Nope. But you got me to catch you." I winked at her and unfolded my wings. She nodded quickly, as if forgetting I had those. As if she thought they were taped to my skin and the minute it tried to use them, they would fail.

This was the first day Blake was ever going to go flying. I knew she wanted to go up with me because she had seen me fly before, but she had never really asked. Now I knew she was scared, as I knew she would be, but once Blake had done it once, she would keep begging me to go again. It was just human nature.

I grabbed her hand and kissed it. I pulled her into my arms, Blake resting her head against his chest.

"Why are you so _tall_?" Blake breathed, snuggling in my protective arms. The way she relaxed I knew she felt safe with me, and that's what I wanted her to feel when she was around me. Not afraid, but secure. Now I also wanted her to run away from me and never come back, because I was afraid I would hurt her, but like I could ever tell her to leave.

"Why are you so short?" I countered.

Blake gave me a dagger look that scared the hell out of me, so like a good little boyfriend, I answered her question with honesty.

"That's the way Black-Winged demons are, sweet heart." did I really just call her sweet heart? "Our bodies are made for flight and speed, so we need to be thin and fast. Plus we killed all the short ones." I laughed. Blake didn't find this funny, but she faked a smile anyway.

"So are you ready to go or what?"

Blake edged over to the side of the cliff and peered down again. I held back more laughter, but I was shaking way too hard.

"Go ahead and laugh, but I'm scared of heights."

I smiled wickedly.

She seemed to read my face and my new body language because she put her hands up and shook her head quickly. "Logan, don't…Please."

Too late.

I charged at her until she fell off the side of the cliff and plummeted to the ground.

Now just to make her scared I could have waited a few seconds, but I already knew she would be pissed at me for doing this, so pushed off and dived through the air at much quicker speeds than Blake.

As I grabbed her waist, I pulled my wings farther out, letting them catch air. I felt a slight sting as the wind pulled them and jerked me upwards, but I was used to it by now. Blake on the other hand looked like she was going to be sick.

I looked at her face. "You can open your eyes now." I told her. She had been covering her eyes with her hands, mumbling to her self, trying to make her think this was all a dream and she would wake up any second now.

When she cautiously opened her eyes and he shocked gasp of the beauty of the air happened, I could help but feel the same way.

Up here you saw things much differently. It was like you saw things from a different view, and in a way, you did. Every thing looked clean and perfect from up here. It was like nothing could bring you down. So when you would sore in the air, feeling the moving air from under you, it was like you could never be happier any where else.

The only down side was to touch back on the ground.

Like I said, everything looks perfect from up this high, but when you land, you see things from the way you once did. The sky only clouds your vision for so long, but its nice while it lasts.

Blake couldn't speak for the longest time. Her eyes were child-like, full of wonder and imagination. Almost like on Christmas morning when you find you got everything you wanted. She put her arms out like she was super man, and her laughter was bubbly and full of utter joy. I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. I didn't know whether that should make me happy or sad.

I pumped higher, loving the strength I always felt when I was in the air. This was my territory, my real home. I was born to fly. I was made to own what ever sky I flew in.

Now that I was high enough, I knew I could do anything I wanted without causing injury to Blake.

"Ready?" I asked her, making sure I had a tight grip on her waist and shoulders.

"For what!" I loved how she sounded so scared.

"I was built for speed, Blake."

It took her a second to understand what I was saying. But when she did, Blake didn't argue. She just stiffened her body and braced herself for what ever I was about to do. Too bad she didn't know that making your body that stiff would actually make it worse. She would just have to loosen up later, or the wind will make her.

I pulled my wings closer to my body, making a slight left bank. Then I tipped my wings forward causing myself to go at a more downward angle. Then I flung them out, propelling us forward, going well over mach 7. God I love flying.

Blake's screams were lost in the wind as I took off.

When I scanned the air, I saw a little black dot, which I later identified as a fighter jet. I smiled as headed straight for it. This guy would have no clue what hit him, or what just zoomed past him going speeds well over five hundred miles per hour. I would go faster, but I was afraid too much at one time would scare Blake. I can at least reach mach fifteen, but I'll save that for a better day.

When I passed the jet, I loved the look on his face. Of course he didn't know what was flying past him, but with my vision, I could see his face clearly as I flew by.

He was scrambling over some controls, trying to figure out what I was, but I was gone too fast for him to even get a glimpse. I was sure he might call for back up. I never had a military chase me before, and I would love to try, but not with Blake. I could never put her in the dangers of guns and bombs.

I flew for another hour, throwing in flips and some action stuff to show off for Blake. But when I touched the ground, I was right. Blake wanted to go back up the second she could catch her breath.

"Please, Logan? We could go up right now." she begged. Her arm was lopped through mine as we walked back to the hotel room. It was hard t say no to her, but we couldn't go again, not today.

"Not today, Blake." I waited until she stopped groaning. "Christoffles and Lily should be home today, and they can't see you. They can't know that you know about us."

"Why not?" a smile came to my lips as she wined.

"They'll kill you."

Blake shut her mouth in an instant. She turned her head to look at me, like she couldn't believe I had just said that.

I shrugged my shoulders. "They aren't like me. They were raised by my father without a soul to make them more human. One word about this and they would kill you without a second thought."

"And you'd let them?" she sounded appalled.

I stopped and made her turn to look at me. I grabbed her face in my hands. "I would fight until the very end for you, you know that. But there is no way I would be able to over power both of them. Not with Lily's gifts. They'd make me watch." I turned away from her eyes this time, feeling sick to my stomach. "They'd make me watch your death and keep reminding me how it was my fault that you were dead." I almost puked as I thought about it and pictured the horrifying image in my mind.

She leaned more heavily on me. I held her up, knowing this had drained her in suck a short time.

"Enough for talks of death," I told her. "I like life better, considering without your life I would still be hopelessly lost. I would much hope for you to be alive."

She loosened up a bit, but I knew she wouldn't be able to get over this conversation quickly. I knew because if I couldn't get over it, there was no way she could. It would just haunt her mind until it drove her mad and caused her to die.

Great, just great. Why did that thought have to pass through my mind?

I started to walk her to her place, but then I got an idea. I grabbed her hand and jogged back to my room. I unlocked the door, and despite her protests, I was able to drag her in. I sat her on the bed and tossed her a coke.

"What's all this about?" she asked, a little flustered. Blake's mahogany hair was in tangles, her face flushed. She clawed through the snarls of her hair and soon gave up before I handed her one of my hair brushes. Why did I have more than one? Well when you get mad, you tend to break them easily.

"Well I was thinking…"

"Oh this ought to be good." Blake teased and leaned back, crossing one leg over the other.

I fought back a grimace. "Now hear me out." I began to think swiftly, knowing with how fast my mind worked, only a second would pass and she wouldn't be the wiser about how I didn't really know what I was asking.

I knew she lived in a crummier hotel than what I stayed in. it had rats and holes, and leaks, and a lot of skanks. There were murders and robberies, drugs and alcohol, and I never really felt comfortable dropping Blake off there, leaving her to fend for herself. I felt bad, knowing I had a better place. How had I not thought of this solution earlier?

"What if you moved in with me?" I said softly, hoping she wouldn't take this the wrong way. Yes I wanted her to live with me, but it just wasn't because I wanted her in the same bed as me, but it feel right for such a beautiful and perfect girl living in such a hell hole.

She blinked, not expecting this kind of question, which was to be expected. How many times to guys ask you to move in with them? Despite what parents might think, its not very often. Sex isn't the only thing we have on our mind these days. Trust me, not even guys can keep up the same train of thought for any long length of time.

"Me…move in with you?" Blake was trying to phrase it to herself. She put her hands through her hair, trying to think better. She looked around the place, as if trying to picture herself living here.

"Look," I said quickly, getting on my knees in front of her, who was still sitting on the bed. "I know this place isn't much, but its better than yours. We can fix it up if you want, embellish this place with what ever you want…" I was trying to convince her to stay, when she put her finger on my lips.

"You want me to live with you?" I could hear the hidden smile in her voice.

"More then you will ever know." I said, remembering the last time said those words to her. It was the first time I kissed her, the time where we both fell for each other,

"When can I get my stuff?"

I kissed her quickly. "Right now if you want."

Blake giggled as I pulled her out the room. I started my car, and drove to her place.

Then we moved all her stuff. She spoke the her renter, and paid her last month. I dragged everything into her truck, acting like it was actually a chore to do all that. When I loaded it up, I followed Blake to my place as she drove there.

It took hours to get everything situated. Blake wanted everything perfect here. She rearranged here, then there, and just when I thought we were done, she decided she didn't like it and we had to start all over again. And then when I tried to help, she'd yell at me and then tell me to sit down. And when I sat down she yelled at me for not helping her. Man she was moody today.

And then once she said it was done, I breathed a sigh of relief. I sat on the bed looking at the new room. Of course I wasn't anything different. I helped her redo the shower, clean the sink, move the bed around so we could sweep the floors, listen to her scream as I killed some spiders, and added some stuff of her own. She had a nice TV, which I was thankful to get rid of my own. But I mean hers was really nice. 42" flat screen TV. That's my kind of TV.

This could really work out. I mean with her job and mine, which I just now realized I hadn't been to in a while, we could easily pay for the rent and other things we needed. I mean she was the only one who really needed food. I always go out to eat. I know, it's a really lame joke, but just bear with me.

"I like it." I told her, and it was the truth. It was my place just as much as it was hers. Besides, she didn't really change anything. It was still a place where I could call home, and the best part was that Blake didn't like all that girly crap. The first time we watched a football game and I saw her get just as excited as I was when we scored the first touch down, I couldn't believe how I had gotten so lucky.

"Where have you been all my life?" I had asked her.

"Shut up, I want to hear."

I laughed as life went on peacefully here. The late nights of stories and laughs, and kissing. Oh so much kissing. I swear life could never get better for me. Her I was, holding the girl I loved in my arms, watching her sleep in the same bed I was in. how could life get any better?

But not even this happiness could last forever.

Trust me.


	21. Chapter 20

20.

Though I love Blake to death, we didn't get along very much. Constant fights over stupid stuff. She'd yell, I'd get mad and then I would scream at her. She'd throw punches every now and then, but even though I was pissed, I could never hit her. So I would be Blake's punching bag for a few minutes until she wore herself out and then she would begin crying. If I didn't love her so much, I don't think I could have the patience I do with her.

Now y'alls may think that this couldn't really happen. That I'm just yanking your chain. But it really does. Yes, we love each other deeply, but everyone has their flaws. We fight we scream, but in the end we always love each other. More or less. Sometimes it may take days, weeks, and sadly, even months to recover from a fight. One of these days, its gonna end for good. I don't want it to, but now I'm starting to think that I don't feel about Blake as heavily as I once did. People are right when they say you want what you can't have. What if now that I have Blake, I don't really want her anymore?

No that's crazy. I'm in love with Blake, and she's in love with me too. Every couple has their rough patch, and we just have to get through it. I had to find out the hard way that the first one is the worst one. So many times I almost let her slip through my fingers, I mean loving a half demon isn't natural. I mean how can we love each other when everything about us, drives the other away?

And that there is the crazy part! I mean at first I thought I was just imagining things. But I don't understand why I didn't see it at first! There was always something there driving a stake between us, but I didn't know what. Something that was like a bug repellant, trying to keep us away from each other. I didn't want to believe that the universe didn't want us together, I thought we were madefor each other. But now I understand that we were made _kill_ each other.

Now I know what you're thinking. That I'm just exaggerating this whole thing, but I'm not. At this point when I come home, I've already done something wrong, something that will just make Blake so angry. And I was starting to wonder why she was all moody all the time. Why just the little things will make her furious. It just wasn't natural for a human. Even a girl. Blake always wanted to fight, even when there was nothing to fight about. She would find something. And at first I just didn't get it.

Then I figured it out. The anger, the hate, the constant fights and yelling, even the smell. Yes the smell should have been the reason I figured it out sooner, but I was blind. Oh so desperately blind. There was something in her skin that gave her that burning smell, like fire on the grassy plains. The crackling and overwhelming smell of smoke. The red tints in her eyes when ever she got really mad, the way her hair seemed to glow whenever she was in direct sunlight. I put all the jagged pieces together, one by one. I was unwilling to do so, but they just seemed to do it all themselves. It was like Blake wanted me to know this, but it wasn't her fault.

No it wasn't ever Blake's fault. She couldn't control this even if she knew what was going on. I can tell that she's tried to calm herself, trying to stop what ever her body is doing, but she can't. Blake can't do a thing about it because her body needs to do this. Its maturing and until she's fully grown, she's going to act like this. And when Blake's fully grown? Yeah that's when she kills me.

Now every part of me wants to tell her what's going on because I know she's scared to death. All I could do is hold her and tell her its gonna be okay, but then we'd just get in a other fight about how its not going to be okay. So I can't win with her anymore. I can't even try really. I could leave her by herself (And by that I mean breaking up with her) and save my own life, but that would only make it worse. She'd be so scared. Blake wouldn't have any clue what to do.

So in that I made my choice. I stayed with her. I dealt with the yelling, the punches, though they started to hurt more and more each day. I just dealt with all the tears and sorrow and by that point, we didn't really make up anymore. We both just assumed we forgave each other and then some how got ourselves into another fight. And I handled all of it. I took everything without a single word of anger, which made her only fight more. But I loved her, it was just becoming to late to save this thing.

I still don't know what to do. I want to tell her, I truly do, but I can't bring myself to do it. Every part of her believes she is something good, something human. But she's wrong. She's not human. That's why this is happening. Her stupid parents were even human. Well one of them was, and that gave her this gene. She had a chance to be a normal girl and who ever her father was squashed any hope. Oh what would she think? What would Blake do if I told her? She wouldn't believe me, that's for sure. We'd just get in another fight. And the more angrier I make her, the faster the growing process is made.

Because it's the fury and hate that fills her. That's while she always had fire in her soul. Why she always fought back with such a vengeance. Its why she could survive on her own for so long. She had the one thing all of her kind did. She had passion, perseverance. Blake would push through everything. Sometimes I would see the apologies in her eyes and she would fight herself so she could give me one moment of happiness, but she's just not that strong to fight her own body. If she kept it up for too long, she would end up killing herself.

And I didn't want that. No I didn't. I still love her. I want her to love me the same way, but its hard for her. And I cant make her without causing her death. Now I'm fighting my own heart. I want her to love me better, but in doing that, I might as well have dug up own grave.

If I had any luck in my body, which I'm sure I don't, but if I did I might be able to save her. If she truly loves me with all her heart as I once believed she did, Blake might be able to break through her own mind set. Now she wouldn't be human, but she would still have some claim on her humanity. If anything she might be able to keep a part of her soul, and she would be able to be mine. Now I'll have to admit that it's a long shot, but it might work. And if that can't be done and she nothing left of her human life, then maybe I can get a gypsy or something.

The only problem is that you can't want it. You can't want the redemption of being human again. And I can't do this both ways. If I try to make her hold on to her humanity and it doesn't work, then she will want to work harder, but it will be impossible. So then I wouldn't be able to give her a soul. She would want to be with me, but she wouldn't be able to. Blake's life is in a very delicate balance right now. I should know, I've been there.

Growing up for a demon isn't fun, not one bit. Some take longer to mature than others, while some take seconds. I took a few years to finally stop growing and to get stronger. And it was a hell of a process. A lot of torturous growth spurts, agonizing blood lusts, and terrifying needs. I needed this to survive and if I didn't get it, the world was going to end…literally. And Blake? Well it takes eighteen years for her kind to grow. They seem human at first, but as they get older the take on more demon like characteristics. She doesn't have long now. Maybe a week or two.

Then its bye bye, Logan. Nice meeting you.

Now here's the catch. Blake's kind are indestructible, hard to kill. Now you better believe they fight with every ounce of their being to not die, but sometimes something stronger comes along and kills them. But to get that strong you have to go through tests their bodies give them. It they don't pass, well they can die before the change is completed. Their race is one of the strongest, just like mine. And guess what comes with that? Everything about us, wants to kill each other. that's what made me drink her blood on the woods. Not just the smell, but my body realizing the threat before my mind did. I wanted to destroy her, but I couldn't then because I didn't understand. Because I love her.

Would lov_ed_ be a better word now? I just don't know. There's something I feel (Or is it that I don't feel?) when I'm laying next to her. Its not love anymore. Its like I'm just trying to get through another day with her. It hurts and it thrashes and it kills me to say this, but I don't think I love Blake Winters anymore. I thought I did, I thought I could do this, but I just can't. I can't deal with her and her hatred of me. She hates me, she doesn't want me anymore. And I can't say that I don't feel the same way. And I feel bad that I put her through this. That I let her fall for me. I should have seen the ending we would have had. This ending. I'm so sorry.

In a way though I did see this coming. From the very beginning I knew we could never be together. Too bad I thought then that we would never even start and when we did all my doubts vanished. But I didn't understand being together meant loving each other forever. I guess I'm still a stupid little boy, not fully getting the meaning of true love.

Maybe I'll never really fall in love with a girl, because I know it will never be a guy. I guess I'm just destined to be loveless, alone in the world forever.

But I don't really believe that, but for now I will.

Blake was my first love, and my last. I swore to myself that I would never love another, not with the memory of Blake etched in my heart. It was like a tattoo. She would always be with me, some part of her at least. Some little part of her old human life. I would always hold on to those days, wishing they would just come back to me forever, and we could start all over again. Maybe one day we can, but that's just some false I shouldn't dwell on.

I unlocked the door to my-no our-room. When I turned the knob, on the other side the door was yanked open. Blake threw her arms around my neck, burying her face in my shoulder. Confused, I put my hands on her waist and just held her there. For a moment I forgot everything we had gone through for the past five months. I forgot all the tears and late nights screaming at each other. For a moment it was just Blake and I, like we were in the beginning.

How could I ever say that I didn't love this girl? This was why I stuck it out for so long. For these kinds of things that Blake can do, that Blake can make me feel. I love her and I always will. We'll make it through this. We beat the odds before and we can do it again. True love will make it, it always does.

"I love you." she whispered, then kissed my neck. She breathed in again and pulled away to look up at my face. There it is. The higher cheek bones, the reddish eyes, the glowing hair, it was all there. The demon inside her was coming out more and more each day. But I would help her control this. I wouldn't leave her if you paid me.

I lifted her chin, wanting to pause this perfect moment forever because I knew in thirty seconds this would disappear and we would start with the yelling again, but I loved it while it lasted.

"I love you."

Blake nodded and kissed me feverishly.

"Logan!" a voice behind me squeaked. I turned to have Lily pounce on my with her hugs and kissed on my cheeks. Blake got out of the way, just sort of watching us with wide eyes.

Christoffles walked in the door, tugging endless bags of what I assumed were clothes. So this was where they had been. Well I guess Lily had always loved shopping.

Now they decide to show up after months of absence, and in this kind of situation too!

I smacked my forehead thinking, _What the hell are you doing, Logan?_


	22. Chapter 21

_21._

_It keeps getting harder._

_First I had to deal with the whole thing about Blake moving in with me to Lily and Chris. It wasn't easy, let me say that, but somehow I was able to give them just enough of the truth without having to lie to them. Sure I didn't tell them about my discovery about her being one of the darkest demons in the world, or that she even knew that we weren't human, but that's okay. They believed me because they knew I had never been a good liar. And if Chris believes me, Lily will too._

_So in private I talked to both of them about them sort of moving out. I told them I wanted some alone time with her. I winked at Chris and though Lily was still confused, her promised for them to be out as soon as possible. Lily looked at me, wide eyed, but a faint smile on her lips. I gave them an idea of something that wasn't ever going to happen, but they wouldn't be the wiser about a thing._

_Thankful that Blake had stayed silent through this whole thing, not fighting, not yelling or breaking out in sweat, I shut the door and leaned my back against it for just a second. They had believed what I had told them for some reason. It was pure luck that I had tricked them for just a tiny minute._

_I pulled my head up and immediately looked for Blake. She was sitting there, feet crossed, looking as innocent as she used to be. She didn't know of the thing growing inside of her that exact moment, but soon she would know what was going on. Blake would have all the knowledge of her ancestors. Which meant fighting, skills, instincts, the whole enchilada. Which means she'll know her kind and mine don't get along very well, and by that I mean she'll want to rip my throat out and I will want the same. End of story._

_Lucky me._

_Her eyes watched me as I sat on the bed next to her. I wrapped my arms around Blake and let her curl up beside me. Her soft snores followed a few minutes later and it gave me some piece and quiet, the very thing I didn't want right now. It gave me time to think, and the more I thought about this situation, the more I just wanted to leave. I would have rather have her yelling at me. It would give me something to do._

_So very carefully so I didn't jostle her, I stood up and went back to look in the mirror. Oh how long had it been since I first came here, so long ago? Where I had first looked at my life form this very mirror. Then my reflection had been somewhat normal, somewhat happy. I had been content with my life, not really knowing what I was missing out on. Then I fell for the girl sleeping on my bed, and it became so much more difficult._

_Now as I study my own face, I see the differences that weren't there before. My eyes were whiter, making me look like I was I truly dead. Because that's the way I felt these days with this thing with Blake. I had dark circles under my eyes, showing you how much sleep I've had in the last few days. None what so ever. I mean there's not much I can say about my face. I just look more dead, like I've been drained of everything. I just don't get why I don't have any gray hairs. When you're stressed out, shouldn't you have gray hairs? Or is that just women? Like I would know._

_I tried to smile, make myself think I was happy, but it was more of a grimace. It was too strained to be called anything but in pain. And that was it! I was in so much pain, all the freaking time. No one told me love would be this harsh and unforgiving. I mean look at my parents-not exactly the example I wanted, but they're together aren't they? And they love each other don't they? Love is just too painful and without the pain you can't have one of the best things in life._

_I punched the glass, making it shatter. I was tired of seeing how much I have suffered. Hasn't Blake suffered too? I mean she was the one who was really going through this. I was just trying to help her, but in the end only making it worse._

_I turned around, and the picture before me almost made me shriek like a girl and jump out of my skin. Blake was laying on the bed, looking like she was out cold. But there was one eye open, watching me. The only problem was that it wasn't her eye. It was a blazing red, glowing as it moved. Around her eye was black lines that almost looked like cracks on a rock. Blake's face had gone sheet white and her lips looked like they had been painted with blood. When I saw one side of her mouth open, my greatest fear was made true._

_Blake was now a hell demon._

_Because as her jaw opened, I saw a line of sharp teeth, just like a shark's mouth. _

_But when she blinked, it was all gone. The red eye, the teeth, the pale skin and red lips, it was like it had never been there. Maybe it never was. Both eyes were closed and she was still sleeping like a rock. Then get this. The mirror behind me wasn't broken, but my hand was still bleeding black blood from the gash punching it had made. And if that doesn't confuse you, get this. Instead of her mouth being full of blood, I could taste it in my mouth. But I didn't touch her. Now I was really freaked out, but then I got it in the next second._

_Blake was becoming one of the most dangerous and fatal creatures this world has seen. She could do things other "normal" demons couldn't. They could manipulate thoughts, dreams, and any fears that might be in your mind at that exact moment. And she had just done that to me without even knowing it. She was growing even faster than I had originally expected. If she kept it up at that speed…it would be a week, tops._

_I washed my hands of the blood on my knuckles and tried to clear my head. It would be very dangerous to think about scary things around her now. They might be allusions, but they can cause damage, just like my bleeding hand. Its as real as can be for the person experiencing it._

_Now I bet you're wondering how I know all of this. Well remember when Blake told me to go to hell and I had said that I had been there before? Well in my little visit there, I met her kind. They run hell down there. I saw first hand what they could do, and with the proper training what they could destroy. Oh and when they smile, that alone should scare you._

_I sat on the bed and laid a hand on her back. She awoke with a jolt and a hiss that even made me flinch. She blinked a few times, gathering her surroundings. Then Blake looked up at me with water filled eyes. I pulled her close, wishing I could just take her pain. I would love to go through what ever she was going through if that meant she would be okay. I just want her to be Blake, the girl she deserved to be._

"_What are we doing today?" her voice was thick. She looked up at me with those blue eyes. I saw the hope, the love and peace in those. And as I looked deeper into them, I saw something I never thought I would see._

_Her soul, her humanity. _

_At this close to the ending of her growth, nothing left of her human life should be there. Those blue eyes should be red and blood thirsty, not blue and calm. So I held on to those blue eyes, filled with joy as this was the only way she could hold on to herself. It filled my body with hope that shouldn't be there, but it was growing to vastly._

"_Whatever you want, love."_

_She laughed and sat up. She raked her fingers through her hair and looked around. Then she seemed to finally take a good look at me. I felt my face from the inside out, trying to see what she saw. I must have looked like I had won the lottery, because in truth, I had. I had won a chance with Blake and I was going to live it out fully and not waste the prize I had been given._

"_What?" Blake asked, looking around and felt her face, as if she was looking for drool. I laughed breathlessly._

"_Fine don't tell me," she said in her normal, fiery tone. Seeing her as she was once made me feel so alive, but we weren't out the woods yet, so to speak._

"_Its nothing, really." thank god she had no memory of anything she was doing. That was the best part of her changing process. While she was forming, she would have flashes like the one she gave me over by the mirror, and then when she woke up to her some what human form, she would have no memory of it. Its like not having a soul as a vampire. No remorse. Its like helping the human part of you while the demon is coming out. If the human had any idea what they were doing, they would die form the guilt. Literally._

"_What ever, Logan." she paused. "So what are we doing?"_

_I looked around. "We can watch a movie…" she shook her head. "Then we can go for a walk…" again with the no "Then we can go get something to eat…what! What do you want to do then?" she wouldn't stop saying no to every idea I had._

"_I wanna fly_." her smile was magic.

I looked at the door and back at her. When I saw the way her throat was clenched and how she was barely breathing without even realizing it, I knew she was hungry.

"Let me get you something to eat-" she opened her mouth to argue so I moved on quickly, "If you don't eat before you fly, well lets just say its not enjoyable." it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either.

She huffed and crossed her arms. "Fine."

I kissed her forehead and bolted out the door in the same leap. Putting the keys and the ignition and quickly adjusting the rear view mirror, I was out in the next second, pulling out of the drive way. I slid in between cars, pushing the accelerator faster, wanting to get home. Who knows what Blake could get into while I was gone. If there was anything I learned most from visiting hell, was that her kind should never be left hungry.

I cursed under my breath as I hit a traffic jam. I honked the horn, but otherwise unable to do anything to make this go faster. I took a deep breath, claming my mind, but then I understood why I was so angry. I was _starving_. Each breath was dry and made my stomach ache. I suppressed any desire to drink from the business man in the car next to me, and I was super lucky when I was able to push the car forward. I rolled up the windows and began to wind through the cars like at the beginning.

Who knew going to Kroger would be so stressful. I swear every time I turned around, I half expected Blake to be there, killing some pour soul. Or maybe even Darius doing the same. Then when I really let my imagination run wild, I saw both of them together, working together. But that was impossible. Blake would never betray me. I'm sure.

Not sure what she wanted to eat, I grabbed all meats. Burgers, bacon, ham, turkey, anything that was raw and bloody. She would want blood…and lots of it. Then I grabbed some for me, knowing if I didn't get anything to drink soon, I was going to pass out.

The drive home was much faster than the drive here. The congestion on the highway was gone and there were few cars actually. I passed a few cops, going well over the speed limit, but I got no chase. I was glad, that would slow me down a bit, but I still wanted just an edge for the day.

I parked the car in my own private garage that I paid extra for. And slammed the door as I got out and grabbed the bag of goodies with my left hand. I walked out and saw another car parked in my slot, but I knew who it was. Which meant that Amanda was here, either to see me or Blake.

Oh no.

But I didn't exactly panic. Amanda could take care of herself, she was strong enough for that. Besides Blake was only maturing. She couldn't hurt a full grown vampire that's centuries older than her. I slowed my pace down when I heard my name form inside.

"…Do this to Logan?" Amanda's voice asked.

"It's not without cause." Blake's raspy voice answered, more strained than it had been earlier.

"You have to understand why you can't do this. I won't let you."

"Blake I have to." she said.

I stepped on a twig, but it didn't seem like they had noticed.

"Then I'm gonna have to stop you. You won't hurt him." Blake's tone of voice changed suddenly. All nice and sweet like it had been earlier.

"What are you-" there was a scream.

Blake's scream.

I dropped everything in my hands and sprinted to the door. I kicked it open like you would seen in the movies. Amanda was on top of Blake clutching her throat. Then with moves like a cat, she was holding her up in the air, Blake struggling for breath.

I had never seen Amanda so violent looking. But that didn't stop me when I threw her into the other wall. I crouched in front of Blake and turned my head slightly toward her.

"Are you okay?" it's a stupid question, I know, but it was all I could think of.

"She's going to tell Lily!" Blake blurted out, not answering my question, but I would have rather hear this than the other one.

"What!" I whirled towards Amanda's shocked face. "Don't you have any idea what this would cause? Any concept at all at what they would do to her?"

"Logan, listen, I have to warn-"

"Shut up!" I yelled at her, unwilling to let her finish. "I have no aversion to killing you." I smiled darkly, letting her see my teeth. "Your not leaving this place alive."

Amanda's face was full of horror. She stepped back, clutching her throat. "Logan, you can't. You have to let me explain to you the truth."

"The truth?" I spat back at her. "The truth was that I was right all along. I knew you were never her best friend. All I wonder is how you found out about her knowledge, but that doesn't matter. I knew all along that you were going to kill her, but you didn't want to get your hands dirty did you?"

"Logan, you have it all wrong! Blake's-"

I didn't let her finish the sentence. Infuriated that she would even think about harming her, that anyone would want to harm Blake, made me angry. Beyond really, but I was too mad to think of a better word.

I lunged for her, my mouth wide open and I hurled myself through the short distance of the room. I hissed as my lips met her throat. I have to admit that she fought hard to get free, a better fighter than Alex that's for sure, but still not enough to get me loose. I put my hand at the base of her spine and one at the top of her neck, just over to the left a bit. Hitting each pressure point, I heard a sickly _snap_ and Amanda's body went limp for good. I shoved her body away from me, not wanting to touch it any more.

I crawled over to Blake and held her in my arms again. Soft sobs came from her throat. I put my hand over her head, comforting her. I told her how sorry I was for having her watch all of that. Blake just told me how glad she was that it was over. I didn't know what she meant by that, but I soon would.

Oh why didn't I let Amanda finish?

_Its all my fault. Its all my fault. Its all my fault…_


	23. Chapter 22

22.

I woke up to Blake staring at me. Her hair was in its usual mess from tossing and turning all night. For some reason I still expected her to hate me or to go into shock for killing her "best friend" last night, but she was as happy as could be. She kept assuring me that she was happy and glad that I had killed that traitor.

Me on the other hand, I wasn't in the best mood. Was killing Amanda the best thing to do? I thought so at the time. I mean she was threatening Blake and going to expose how much she knows, which would end up killing Blake in the long run. So why did I feel something eating at me from the inside? I shouldn't feel guilt for protecting the one I loved. I was supposed to. I couldn't let her die.

So why did I have the feeling I shouldn't have killed Amanda?

The good news is that she's with Erik now. Yeah that couldn't really make me feel any better about this either. I just thought I'd throw that out there.

"Relax, Logan." Blake whispered in her easy tone that always made me smile no matter what. Yep I felt it at the edges. I was smiling. Man I'm so whipped. "Now we don't have to worry about it."

"For now." josh did I sound like Debby downer or what?

"Yes, for now." Blake sighed, rubbing my shoulders. I couldn't help but feel relaxed at the moment, but that was only my body. Right now my mind was raging like a sandstorm over the desert. But I shouldn't be like this right now. Blake was some what normal, even against the odds, and she was trying to make me feel better. Didn't I owe it to her to be happy with her? Even if I was truly moping?

"Still want to fly?" I looked up at her.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Now while I'm flying, don't you think I'd be able to clear my head? Nope. Now you must see how much this whole thing affected me cause normally I'm all happy-go-lucky when I'm in the sky. All care free like nothing can stop me. Well my head hurts from a major headache that's still taking place, and it feels like I'm about to explode.

Want to know what's really bugging me? Its not Amanda, but Blake. She's just not like this. Yes she is normally so perky and looking at the bright side, but I have never seen her so heartless. The girl who used to be her best friend was just murdered by her own boyfriend, and it seems all she could care about was what she was going to do today. But if I thought about it, maybe this was how she coped. Maybe by acting like everything was normal, she would assume it was. Okay now I really felt bad that I had just judged her. Forget any doubts I had about her.

So for the next couple of hours, we coasted over the ocean, scaring the crap out of birds, flying down into Florida and then back up to Maine. Its not hard when you go ten times faster than a race car. I can't believe I didn't go this fast the first time with Blake. She loved the whole thing. Though her head must have been sore from her hair flapping our in a frenzy because I know it sure stung when it lashed out at my arms. We visited Ohio, Kentucky, and even Louisiana.

I landed some where off the coast of Puerto Rico. There we sat on top of a abandoned lighthouse to watch the sun go down. Yes we had flown all day and I would do it again, because it was one of the best days of my life.

And now as I watched Blake stand on the ocean's shore form up here, how could I not feel content with my life? I mean I was with the girl I feel in love with and I had worked so hard to get her to love me, when really it wasn't needed. Blake and I weren't meant to be together, and we always will. One day after this whole demon issue is taken care of, she'll be my immortal everything. She'll live forever with me and we'll live a long and happy life.

This isn't a fairy tale. Even I knew that, but a guy could still hope. We would get past this. We got past so much together, and I was still here and somewhere deep inside Blake's soul, the real Blake was there. One day she will be released and our love will grow.

Okay now I sound like a dating commercial or maybe a soap opera. Ugh like One Tree Hill. Too much drama. I mean when did this ever actually happen in real life? Well if you don't believe a word I'm saying to you about my life, I envy you. I wish this wasn't real, but it is. Sadly. Guys and drama just don't mix.

I peered back down at Blake, who was now sitting in the sand. How I wish everything just worked out like I wanted it to. Yes I'm writing this story, but I wish I got to _make_ it. I hate the idea of someone or some fate in the universe writing it for me.

Okay now I need to get back on track. Where was I? Oh yeah, Blake sitting on the beach. So she was just watching the waters, letting them wash against her bare feet. Her hands dug into the sand and she through her head back, basking in what's left of the sun's rays. Blake stood back up and sprinted back and forth, doing a suicide I think (Not killing herself. I'm telling you this because I know there's always one person in the crowd who thinks the real suicide. No it's a sport exercise.). I saw her slide in the sand as she slipped a few times, but her bubbly laughter told me she loved this kind of thing. I didn't know whether it was from running, which was a high possibility because running almost gave me my own personal high, or from knowing Summer was just around the corner. Maybe both.

Crap! I hate exams. Not that I need to study but I get done so fast I'm bored for the next two hours.

What was I going to do about Blake? I looked up to see the outline of moon starting to show as the sun slowly dipped below the horizon. Maybe one day we can both go to the moon. I chuckled to myself, but maybe, just maybe one day this could all be normal as two demons in love could get.

I looked back over the beach, looking for Blake. I searched harder, not being able to believe my eyes. I jumped from the top of the lighthouse and started to breathe harder.

Blake was gone.

"Blake!" I screamed, knowing how this would go. I wouldn't get an answer and her body would wash up on shore a few days later. No! this wasn't happening, this just wasn't! "Damn it, Blake! This isn't funny!" my voice was on the edge of hysteria. Then as I looked at the blackening waters, I plunged into the icy ocean.

"Blake!" I yelled under water, but all I got were bubbles and a really bad taste of salt water. I choked and heaved until I broke the surface and spat out the water. I dived back under, this time not trying to breathe. I looked through the black water, trying to find some source of movement or even just a body. But I couldn't see anything. It was like Blake disappeared off the face of the earth.

I hit the surface of the water and kept yelling her name and going back under water at intervals. There was no way she could survive this. No one can hold their breath for that long. Well even if she could that wouldn't matter. Blake's whole kind was pretty much made of fire and last time I checked, fire and water doesn't work well together.

No! _No!_ NO! This couldn't really be taking place. In another second Blake would wake me up form a horrible night mare she was causing on accident. But this wasn't a dream, I knew it.

That's when I saw it. It was just a brief flash of light but that was all I needed. I shoved off from the sand on the bottom of the sea and swam at her with such speeds, I was pretty sure I could beat a speed boat, which was hard because I wasn't meant for swimming. I was meant for flying.

There was another flash of red light, almost like Blake was her own personal flare, trying to show me the way towards her. I reached her in the next second, clutching her cold body to my chest. Then with all my might, I broke the surface and twisted in the air, flinging out my wings to dry them quickly. I pushed them harshly and dropped on the sand, out of breath.

I turned Blake over, and the sight of her face was not pretty. She was paler than I was, her eyes looked almost hollow and she wasn't breathing. I pushed on her chest, trying to make her breathe, but there wasn't a movement. Not even a tiny flutter of her eye lids or a small quiver from her lips. There no was nothing there to tell me she was going to be okay or alive for that matter. And I had no idea how to make this better. I wanted to yell and scream for help, waving my arms until I caught someone's attention, but what then? She wasn't human, so one can help her.

_Think, Logan, think_. I tried to sort through any memories of my unpleasant trip to hell. I tried to think of the hell demons and ever little detail of their lives that I got the chance to observe. I thought back to the fights and diseases, weakness (water, duh) and strengths, but nothing there told me how to make anything better. So with as much common sense as I could muster, I tried to think of a plausible solution that I could access.

_Fire_.

Of course! She was meant for fire! I looked around, as if expected some genie pop by and grant me a few wishes. There were no witches or Voodoo doctors around this part of town. I didn't have spells or potions to do anything, and I didn't even have matches for crying out loud! How in the world was I going to catch my girlfriend on fire (Okay you gotta admit that that was funny. I wasn't laughing right at that point, but you know what I mean.)?

So I did the only thing I could think of. I bolted to the shore line, where the water was just washing back and forth, and I stuck my hands deep into the sand, searching for a shell. I kept looking until I pricked my palm on a sharp surface. I pulled it up and sprinted back to Blake. I sliced my wrist all the way up to my shoulder, making sure the cut was just oozing blood. I made a tiny slit in her neck, right where I bit her actually, and dribbled some of my blood all over her. The small cut would make sure it didn't enter her body too fast, which would cause her immediate death.

Once I made sure I had enough on her neck, I pinched the two edges of my open skin together and watched as it sealed itself back up. My black blood was smoking on Blake's neck, doing exactly what I wanted it to do.

Remember when I said it was poison to anyone but my kind? Well the way it kills you is by burning you up from the inside out. So by putting all over her and inside her, it would spark a fire which would result in her waking up. From then on she could fight what ever poison I put in her system.

I heard her skin crackle and pop as it burned her skin. There was a constant hissing noise that I would have loved to go away, but no, it stayed with me the entire time. I pumped her heart again, hoping my blood would work some magic.

What happened next took me by surprise.

Her body sort of when into a fit that out did a three year old who just lost his favorite toy by throwing it into a TV. She convulsed every second. Her heart picked up into double time, beating the a humming bird's wings. _Yes!_ It's working! I felt the heat radiate from inside her. When I felt Blake's cool skin blaze like a furnace, it almost reminded me a fever. I smiled as I rubbed my hands together, generating as much heat as I could, then pressing it against her cool cheeks. Blake's breathing was more…sturdy? I don't know, but what I do know that she seemed more stable when I kissed her forehead.

That's when she froze. I mean _froze_. Her skin cracked, but not from heat. Her heart stopped with s few final thuds and her breathing ceased. I frantically checked over her when I felt it.

Ice.

Ice here and there. I know I sound like Dr. Seuss, but boy was there ice every where. Her body was white and hard, like a corpse in a morgue. The water on her face and her damp clothes were hard and icy. I blew on her, giving her any heat I had left.

"No no no!" I did everything I could think of to get her going again. I even tried to give her more of my blood, but her body refused it. "Blake! Wake up!" I screamed at her.

I closed my eyes, feeling the final defeat I had been waiting to unleash on myself at any given moment. My fault, all my fault. She's dead and its all my fault.

Nothing. There was nothing. I was just waiting for the world to explode. I was waiting for it to swallow me whole into it's deep dark abyss so I could finally shrivel up and die. But no death could keep me away from the pain I was now feeling, but alas (Oh my god! Where is that word coming from!) the world didn't end.

And I was glad it didn't.

There was a cough and a sneeze. But what I heard most was the thrumming of a heart. My eyes snapped open and I grabbed Blake in a flurry. I held her and kissed her and made sure she was warm.

"Slow down cowboy, where's the fire?" if only she knew what those words really meant for her.

"You're alive." I breathed.

She blinked and spoke in that fiery voice I loved. "Of course I'm alive. Why wouldn't I be?"

I smiled. Right, she had memory loss. I just sighed and pulled her closer to me.

When she pulled away, Blake looked up at me with silver-blue eyes, not ocean blue. The colors swirled around in her eyes, like two winds chasing each other, resulting in a tornado.

But as this storm of her life had passed, so did the storm in her eyes. They faded into her clear blue. I waited for her to just fall over and die or for me to wake up and know that she's dead, but I wasn't going to. Blake was alive!

I kissed her sweetly, reveling in her pure, musky human smell-

Whoa, hold it right there.

Human?


	24. Chapter 23

23.

You better believe that it through me off for a few minutes.

Blake just looked into my eyes, not really understanding what just happened. I didn't really either, but my mind was swimming to get the answers. What in the world juts happened? She was drowning and she…died. Right?

Okay lets go through this step by step. One: Blake had swam in the waters that were so fatal to her. She went under and once the water hit her warm skin, she was unable to get up. The waters were putting out the fire from her outside in. Two: I didn't find her in time. Her glowing light that led me to her was herself trying to stay alive. It was her last attempt to keep dry and warm in the cold and wet seas. Three: I dragged her to the shore, trying to get her to come back to life. It seemed like it was working at first, then it back fired and turned her to ice. Four: the human I smelled in her was either a strong hallucination, something I haven't ruled out yet, or it was real.

So for now I held her close to my heart, trying to keep her warm. Demon or not, Blake was in a very precarious situation. And for those who don't know what that words means, its still pretty much a life of death thing for her. Anything could still happen here. Hopefully with enough skill I had gathered over the years, I would be able to save her. I blew on her forehead, giving her some warmth.

Then something flashed into my mind. Survival 101. If someone is dieing from cold and their clothed are wet, you're supposed to…take them off. For a moment a picture of Blake naked sprung before my eyes. I gulped and trued my best to shove it away.

Blake, shivering, her lips started to turn the faintest shade of a pale blue.

"I'm sorry." I told her, for two things. Sorry that her death is so close and that to save her, I have to undress her. I ran back to the lighthouse for a split second and grabbed the jacket that I threw off before I jumped in. I started with her shirt, taking it off gently, watching her eyes. But like a guy I couldn't help but feel my eyes trail down her soft neck and over her exposed body. I took a deep breath and then started with her pants. I worked quickly with her shoes, socks, and belt, not wanting her to be this exposed for any long length of time. When I had stripped her of every but he bra and underwear, I draped the jacket securely around her.

Blake's blue eyes watching me intently, but she didn't make a movement or sound to object this. I wrapped her in my arms, rubbing her arms, trying to keep her warm. I kissed her lips her head her neck, anything I keep her warm.

Extending my wings, I wrapped them around her, making a small shelter from the wind and cold air. Her eyes dropped, but I had to keep her awake, afraid that if she slept for even one second, she would never wake up.

"You're going to be fine." I said more to myself than her. After a while I took off my own shirt and put it on her. She shivered as she took in the scent I had, but instead of crinkling her nose like she should have with the demon in her, she smiled and snuggled closer to me.

This wasn't working, I could tell. I needed to get her some kind of fire going. I helped her stand up and watched my shirt come down low enough that it could be a short mini dress. Keeping the shirt and jacket around her tightly, I led her a way up the hill. When we hit the street I couldn't help but pick up the pace. Curious eyes followed us. Who wouldn't? A drenched girl wearing a jacket and a short dress. Then a shirtless man walking beside her quickly and with a guarded expression. I half expected for people to call the police, but not a phone was picked up. You gotta love Americans and their dim witted minds.

We entered a shop, Blake barely being able to walk on her own. We passed a few isles and some more dagger eyes, but no one made a move to stop us. I grabbed some matches, a few bags of Doritos, Ho-ho's (Yes I still find that brand name extremely funny), and Mountain Dew. I paid cash for everything and got out of there without a scene. Thought the Chinese man at the register was getting on my nerves.

I led Blake to the nearest drug store. I searched the isles for certain types of medicine that would work. I snatched a bottle of Tylenol, that Beano crap, and some other things I had no idea how to pronounce, but I knew the ingredients. I helped her hobble over to the drinks, Blake being very silent through this whole thing, and opened the door to the beer cave, telling Blake not to move and if she needs help to holler for me.

I looked around for a bottle of Bud Light and Vodka. When I found it I grabbed it quickly, praying had my fake ID (Though technically I am over the age of twenty-one). I felt the tension in my body as I walked back to where Blake should be. For a moment I almost had the second heart attack of the day when I didn't see her through the foggy glass door, but she was sitting down by the wall, her eyes closed. When I touched her arm, she jerked opening her eyes, but she calmed when she saw that it was me.

She eyed the items in my hand, but I had to get one more thing here and then she would really freak out. I grabbed a pack of cigarettes and put them all in a pile at the register.

"Let me see your license please." the woman at the register said, eyeing me with some suspicion. I smiled politely and handed her what she asked for. I got a new one every five years or so, knowing I wouldn't look like I was supposed to be because I never aged past seventeen or so. She nodded and scanned the items, still not sure whether to give them to me. The woman had a hard time handing the things over, but when I had them, and this ought to make me look suspicious, I bolted from there with my arm firmly around Blake's waist.

"What are those for?" asked Blake, who looked like she was ready to pas out. Either that or like she was really high and drunk off of drugs and stuff.

"They're to make you better."

"But what's wrong with me?"

I grimaced. "I'll tell you when I let you know."

That didn't allay her fears or make her feel any better.

Then walking across a few streets and covering a few blocks, we entered a magic shop. Blake shivered once more, but I knew it wasn't form the cold. This place was a home of devil worship, and if I didn't absolutely need items from here, I wouldn't be here. Every fiber of my being hated this place and the things in it, let alone what it represented.

Book shelves towered over everything in this room, two were on each side, stocked with books from different languages and some for each kind of spell. In the middle of the room was a lavish rug full of intricate patterns that almost reminded me of when I barfed on my carpet in the hotel room. And they demons can't get drunk. A tiny chandelier hung from the ceiling, bringing my eyes to the second floor, it too full of more books. The place was empty other than an old woman standing behind and oak desk, putting things together and chanting words that couldn't be more dangerous to me than Blake.

I stepped carefully towards the magic woman, giving her the right amount of fear and respect without mixing the two emotions together. She lifted her head, gray hair falling over her face. Her eyes were gray, and her face full of deep wrinkles, showing how old she was. Her old eyes darted from Blake to me slowly, seeing things that weren't really there. As she examined us, I felt Blake squirm in my arms, but I held her there, not knowing the outcome of what would happen if she got loose.

"You have no business here, young vampire." she looked down at her things, expecting me to exit through the door we came.

Blake stiffened and hissed, not knowing that she was actually doing these things. The women snapped her head up, glaring sharply at her. I thrust Blake behind me, ready to take on anything the old witch threw at me.

"I need a healing book along with cotton and lavender." I told her, keeping a guarded gaze on her.

"I cannot possibly give them-"

I put my face in hers, snarling fiercely. I extended my wings a bit, making sure she saw them and knew exactly what kind of monster I was. Her eyes widened and looked from Blake to me once more.

"I need them." I let my face soften, looking at Blake. "She is hurt and dying, I have to help her."

She took a deep breath, still seeming confused about something, but she hurried from behind the desk to a book shelf upstairs. Leaving Blake at the bottom, I leaped from the bottom floor and jumped over the railing to the second floor. I know I was being a show off, but I needed her to take me seriously. This was no time to play nice.

She handed me a thin book. I looked at the cover, astounded at the title. _Hell Demons_, by Ilene Roberts. How could she possibly know what Blake was? And how in the world did she get her hands in this book.

"Normally, I wouldn't help such creatures," she told me, walking behind a thick curtain and then handing me the other items I asked for, even a few other things that would help. "But I think I'll make an exception for something as rare as you two have."

I didn't have to ask to know what she meant.

"This way, Logan Masters."

I stiffened at my name, but I didn't stop for long. I followed her, though still keeping my distance from the witch.

She led to back downstairs, where I jumped again and landed without a sound. She narrowed her eyes, but didn't say a word. Blake was sitting on a chair.

"If I were you, I would hurry." the woman eyed Blake after handing me my things. I nodded and rushed out the place.

"Is this is?" her voice was weak and barely audible. God, I need to hurry it up.

"One more stop, I promise."

"Where?"

"I need some Holy Water from the Church." I shoved past people on the sidewalk.

"What are we doing, an exorcism?"

I didn't answer.

She walked with me uneasily, but she followed without another word. We hit the Church quickly, with a few words. I was held back with a cross, but they were even more shocked that I wanted Holy Water, more shocked so then when they saw me enter the building. So held as cross-point instead of gun-point, I took the Water and jogged out of there, with no more questions.

Now when we were well hidden in the shadows, unfurled my wings and flew at a break neck pace to get back to the beach. I snapped twigs very carefully from the trees as flew by, trying not to get clipped in the wing. When I landed I lit a quick fire, setting everything up. I laid Blake down on the sand, sprinkling the Water around her, along with some Sage and Lavender. I dipped the Cotton on the Water and then brushed it across Blake's face and arms. She hissed as it burned, but she made no move to knock it out of my hand. She must have trusted me very well.

Taking out the spell book and flipping through a few pages, finding what I was looking for, I began a very dangerous task for both Blake and me.

For an hour, I was attempting to be a witch, hoping I had enough magic in me to work some…well, some magic.

This ought to end well.


	25. Chapter 24

24.

"Are you sure this is safe?" she peered over at my hands, keeping still as a rock like I told her. Her only movement was the steady rise and fall of her chest, that was now stripped of my shirt and jacket, but that didn't seem to bother her.

I snorted, trying to make this tension go away, but I still felt like a coiled snake, ready to spring. "Jumping from ten thousand feet without a parachute is safer than this."

She nodded. "Good to know." Blake closed her eyes, putting herself in a state of peace, just like I told her.

I prepared the fire, moving pieces of logs with my stick, trying to get the fire bigger. Once it was at a good height, I placed more Holy Water around the fires rim and picked up the spell book. Flipping through a few pages, I started to panic because I couldn't find what I was looking for. Before I could hyperventilate, my eyes scanned the correct spell that was so difficult, I shouldn't be attempting it.

"And if you get it wrong?" she asked, almost reading my mind.

"Be comforted that I can kill you swiftly if anything goes amiss."

"Yeah, that comforts me a bunch." Blake spoke in he sarcastic, fiery tone that made my heart thump louder. She rolled her eyes before taking another deep breath. As I about started the spell, Blake's hand grabbed mine. "I love you."

I smiled and breathed, "I love you too, more than you know."

So then I began the spell. I read each word twice before speaking aloud, making sure I had pronunciation and the item to go with it. I said the incantation with as much authority as I could muster, knowing the spirits of the underworld wouldn't obey me, but maybe for a fellow hell demon, they just might. That was the only reason I was doing this spell too. If it wasn't Blake and she wasn't this type of demon, she would be on her own. But right now I'm just hoping this works. If not it could kill her, and me for that matter.

I crushed pills from the bottles, mixed them with the Vodka and added a few other things that the book called for. I lifted open her lips and made her drink it. She forced a few gulps down without spitting it out, that was good. With a few more words I then took one m my feathers-and believe me when I say that it hurts to pull one of those things out-and then some of her own blood. I burnt it up, wrinkling my nose and the smell of burning flesh (Yes my flesh was still on the feather), and then I made her eat it, leaving the tip for me to use later.

After I read over a line and was ready to go to the next one, I saw that I was done. It took over and hour to complete everything on the list, but the spell was done. Blake was fast asleep, after I hit a pressure point to cause her less pain, but I'm sure she'll thank me for it later. I pressed it again, making sure she stayed under because she's not allowed to move for another ten minutes.

Sadly, a lot can happen-to me-in ten minutes.

The wind started picking up and as it flew around me, I picked up the scent of another being behind me. A Werewolf.

Making it think I hadn't sensed it yet, I kept working on Blake, listening to it stalk behind me, thinking it was going to kill me. Werewolves were always stupid. They attacked on whim and without any thought. They assumed they were bright, but in reality their just a big dog with a lot of fur and family issues.

But boy were they strong.

So strong that even when I turned and kicked him square in the jaw, causing him to land on his butt, he got up like it had been a fly and charged at me again. I could see he was angry now, and he wasn't playing any games, but that scared me even more. If that was easy then, what would be hard and angry now?

But the fear slid off as I looked at him one more time. I settled into my hunter instincts that I've had hidden for so long. I analyzed his weak points-his belly, a hollow bone right under his left ear-those sorts of things. Then I went deeper. I saw his bruises from other battles, the way his right leg had a small limp when he put too much pressure on it, his jaw that was missing a few teeth when he roared, and his right eye was blind, giving me a much higher advantage.

I shifted into a crouch, keeping my wings close to my body. If he got one paw on them I knew he would rip them right off me, saying 'bye bye birdie'. And that would hurt so much worse that having my soul taken by force, because by losing my wings would be losing who I really was inside. I barred my teeth, feeling them grow nice and long, making her sure he took in ever inch of those long incisors. The Werewolf hesitated for just a brief moment, but he picked up again at full speed.

I hissed and tightened my legs, waiting till it got close enough to lung. As it barreled toward me, and I watched a major threat get closer, I felt sorry for the dumb beast. It had no clue what it was doing, let alone who it was fighting. He chose the wrong person to mess with at the wrong time. I'm tired, I'm stressed, and I'm ready to kick some major butt to get all of this angst out. Now he was going to face my wrath and wish he was never born.

Once he was in my reach, I leaped upward causing the beast to stop and look around before I came crashing down on his thick skull. He quickly gathered himself and grabbed my ankle, twisting it, and throwing me to the ground. Now that would have happened if I hadn't bit his neck, and heard his howl in pain. As he struggled, my teeth made large gashes in his neck. Human blood is one thing, but Werewolf blood? Nasty.

He threw me off and pinned me to the ground, his foot on my lungs. I spat his own blood in his face, but that only made him bring his other foot down on my face. For a few seconds I was out, and that was all he needed. But it wasn't me he was going after next.

Thinking I was dead, the wolf trudged over to the sleeping Blake. Right then and there, as the beast touched his wet nose to Blake's cheek, I felt a fire ignite inside me. Only this was no tiny flame, oh no. It was a massive explosion that I felt ripple inside my chest. Forgetting the dangers of letting my wings out, I forgot from the beginning how much they could help me. I slid them out gently, silently. I didn't want the Werewolf to hear me yet. I inched forward, getting my knees to bend under me, getting ready for the spring.

Then I leaped into the air and hit the beast with the spikes on the ends of my wings. I brought them in, fighting the wolf with my beating wings. I moved them so quickly that he had no idea what was even going on. I bashed on his head, sunk my teeth into his neck, did anything to get my poison in his system. He thrashed at me, nearly knocking my body off, but I was on him again with the speed of my furiously beating wings. I enveloped him in utter blackness of them, clouding his vision, only making it worse for him. And if I felt a paw brush my wings, I would move them and puncture more skin with the spikes.

Sooner or later his attempts to throw me off became feeble. He walked around blindly, his tail whipping me from the back, but he wasn't able to gain any leverage, nor did I let up any. I bit and hit and injected, then I began the whole thing over. I made him grow weak and tired from him trying to throw me off, but not even his brute muscles could do the trick. Brain over brawn they had once said. And as he hit the ground with a loud _thump_ I waited a few more minutes, making sure my poisonous blood was surging through his veins. Then as his heart made its few final beats, then thudded to a halt, it was then that I ran over to Blake, making sure the wolf hadn't harmed her in anyway.

That's when I felt a knife pierce my wing. I hissed in pain and I turned to face yet another enemy, this time a vampire. Though I would be able to take this female's strength with ease, it was her mind I was now worried about. She would be much more crafty in he attacks, and now I would have to be wary. But I was Logan Masters, and even though she had years of training to be an assassin, she too knew who I was.

And she had fear in her eyes that was as plain as day.

Yes, she had heard the stories of who I once was. Though they all knew of my soul and how I was kinder, they knew that the monster was still in me, waiting to be unleashed. By her expression she had seen the entire fight, especially how I reacted to Blake. She stepped with precise caution over to me, avoiding anything that was relevantly close to Blake.

"Man this just isn't my day." I told the vampire, a dark, wicked smile playing on my lips. "At least vampire blood tastes better than a Werewolf's." I barred my teeth in a growl. Her next step was more hesitant, just like the wolf's, but I could tell she was strong than he was. She was no coward, and that would be the reason she will die. If she had ran, I wouldn't have hunted her down, but now that she wants to fight, I will kill her, or die protecting Blake.

From her eyes I knew that she knew she was going to die, but like me if I were to die, she was going with a fight. She would injure me somehow, but I would come out the victor.

And when the fight came of our dancing in circles, I made sure I killed her quickly, feeling sick to my stomach as I snapped and severed her head just like I did Amanda's.

I hobbled over to Blake and sat on the ground, panting. The vampire had put up a good fight, but she wasn't a match for me. Still she had made the rip in my wing larger from her knife wound, but I could live with it, already feeling the healing process take place. I was even able to drag the dead wolf carcass over here to burn slowly, so the humans wouldn't find it. There would be another _Monster Quest_ episode that I fondly like to watch and laugh as they tried to explain certain things.

Blake stirred beside me, her nose wrinkling a bit, but from the smell of her, she was now one hundred percent human, my spell made sure of it. If there had been anything left in there from the beginning, I chased it out now, leaving her as normal as could be. Which it saved my neck from her teeth, but now she was in danger once again.

You see, by being a demon she protected herself from my families wrath. By being a part of my world she had a right to know what goes on in it, but now that she's human again…well I can try to keep the secret longer, but for how long, I don't even know.

After I put the fire out-I had to use the bathroom anyway-I scooped Blake up and flew her back to my room. Even she could tell I was straggling along this flight because I wasn't as high or going as fast as normal. But once I made it there, I almost crash landed, but somehow I was able to stay on my two left feet. She unlocked the door and led me to the bed. She took my shirt off, and after a few instructions, she began to tend my wounds, being very careful not to touch the blood.

"So what happened back there?" asked Blake, putting more medication on the open hole. I hissed in protest, making her stop for a moment, but continuing with her apologies.

"I had to fight some of my father's assassins: a vampire and a Werewolf."

She chuckled.

"And you find this humorous how?" I asked her blankly.

"It's just weird to hear you say that. I mean you just fought a vampire and a Werewolf. I don't know, but sometimes I forget you are a demon."

"Do I need to remind you again? Maybe this time I'll end up killing you." I spoke harshly, feeling her flinch. I immediately felt sorry for the wrods and wish I hadn't said them. "I'm sorry-"

"You're fine." her tone was short, flustered.

She finished wrapping up my wings and told me to gently bring them in. I didn't turn around to see her, for I assumed she was putting the stuff away. Then she told me she was getting ready for bed, so then I didn't turn around to watch her change.

"Okay, you can look now." Blake said sweetly.

When I looked at her, I did a double take, making her giggle nervously.

Standing there in her beauty was Blake, wearing _sexy lingerie_. I gulped at how revealing the item of…I wouldn't even call it clothing. It was all black and lacy, but very see through. I was a loss for words.

"Like it?" she twirled around, giving me a view of everything. I mean everything when I say this.

She walked over gracefully to me, sitting on the bed and crawling over to my side. Did she want to…? Was she asking me to…? I'm so confused! And I can't breathe to think straight, of think straight so I can remember to breathe. When I did take a deep breath, she was cuddling against me, her warm body against my bare chest.

"What's the matter, Logan? Don't you want me?" her voice broke my hear when she said it like that. And I couldn't refuse her offer. Plus I'm a guy. What would normal guy do in this situation? Yeah that's what I thought.

Oh this can't end well.

But as she pressed her soft lips to mine, all my walls broke down. I let her in and even though she wasn't my first, she made me feel like it was.

And for a moment I was flying in a cloud of bliss…


	26. Chapter 25

25.

How could I not be the happiest man alive tonight? Or maybe this morning since I saw flashes of light coming through the window blinds. But here I was, laying with my arms around Blake Winters, the girl I fell in love with so many months ago. Who would have guessed that our love would bring us here? Sure I've thought about it, what guy hasn't? But to…do this with the one you want to spend the rest of your life, I just can't find the right words to explain it all. I've never felt so complete in my life, knowing that Blake wanted me to, that she wanted to love a monster. Maybe one day we could get married and live our life. Maybe I could change her into a vampire and that way she could be my immortal love.

But could I really do that to her? Could I take her soul away and make her the same monster I am? But I don't really believe that, no I don't. her humanity is so strong that it astounds even me. I was quite sure that whatever life threw at her, whether demon or human, her soul would stay intact and it would be forever intertwined with mine.

Blake shifted in my arms, still fast asleep. I smiled at her soft snores that she still refuses that she makes. Her face was so calm and peaceful, her mahogany hair spilled around her head, almost in complete disarray. Blake's body fit perfectly into mine, showing me that we were meant for each other, no matter what anyone thinks. If Blake hadn't of wanted me from the beginning, I might not know what true love feels like, but then again, I was sure that fate would bring us here. No matter the costs.

And I had paid dearly for this girl in my arms. My sister didn't completely understand why I was in love with this human, my family didn't understand why I wanted this soul, causing endless fights between our two parties, causing me to leave my home years before and somehow get lucky enough to find this girl. And then with the loss of my brother, whom I still hadn't found out who the murderer had been. I remember how thinking about it made my blood boil, how I had ran so hard on the track, only to burst into tears at the end when I couldn't breathe anymore. At though the agony was great, I will never forgot that my brother's death cause Blake and I to come closer than ever. How we shared our first kiss, how signs of her demon inside was just then showing, but I mistook it for passion. Not that it wasn't passion, but I should have seen the signs earlier on.

But would that have changed anything? Even if I had known about it form the beginning, I doubt I could have left her. In her own way she drew me to her, making me curious for this one human who almost caused the death of me, and I to her. No I couldn't have abandoned her. If anything it made me want to be with Blake more. How mysterious she was, her anger issues, her jealousy that made her so cute, how much it hurt to know she didn't want me, then to find out she had cried over me. All these emotions had began a very intricate pattern, breakable by anything from the outside world, or my world for that matter. From the first moment we saw each other, a bond had been formed, even if we both hadn't realized it yet.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I chose another town, another state or country even. If I hadn't of met this incredible girl in my arms who loves to yell at the TV when a good football game was on, or screech at the computer when it didn't load fast enough, or kiss as intensely as she did without over doing it. If I hadn't met the girl that was he own person, and stood her ground, but was smart enough to run from something when she was afraid. The girl that wasn't afraid to cry or show her emotions, but somehow she knew when to keep them bottled up for the sake of others. The girl that understood me more than any other person, even Lily or Christoffles, the girl that made me smile when I wanted to rip my hair out, the girl I wanted to cross the world with again and again. The girl that mean everything to me, my life, my breath. She was the reason my heart was still pumping and I becoming the man I always wanted to be, all because of this one human girl who took interest in me from the start.

And if I hadn't of met her? I shuddered and shoved the thought away, not wanting to know where I would be without her. She had changed everything about me while still keeping me the same person. She had shown me her world that I was too blind to really take notice of. She had loved me when I was so screwed up with my family issues and even when I was bipolar to her. She stood firm in her ground for me, making sure she minded me and herself that I was different form all the others she could have chosen, not just being a vampire and all. Blake had been strong enough to put up with my crap, but by not being a mat for me to walk all over. She fought for me and herself, not willing to give up.

And it the end she had won hadn't she?

Of course she had. Wanna know why?

Because, believe it or not, girls _are_ always right. Even when we don't want them to be.

I didn't want to see the goodness inside me because I was too centered around my self pity to see it. But she cracked me down to my core, and there I was able to see what she saw.

And it made me smile.

But not even the happiness I was feeling now, and what I wanted to feel for so many more years, could last.

I didn't know how it happened, or why even. But while I was in my own little happy place with Blake in my arms, someone had entered the room. More than one actually. They had snuck around us while my eyes were closed in pure bliss. Maybe it was the way I was concentrated on her snores that I didn't hear the intruder, but once they were in, they didn't leave.

Then there was a struggle.

I felt a bag go over my head in a flash, with movements to fast to be human. I too move with inhuman speed and I kicked the hand on my ankle. I ripped the bag off and snarled at the figures around my bed.

Before I really got a good look I leaped at one, taking one of them down. I ripped his head off, causing him to become dust. But I was slammed into the wall before I could attack another. Then I was looking into a pinched face of another vampire. I kicked him out of the way. I broke off a piece of the floor, making a stake and shoved it into his heart. He dusted and then I got a good look at the remaining intruders.

Even with the ones they were still five vampires, four men, one girl. They moved with speed beyond my compare, but not towards me. The taller vampire man lunged at Blake, holding her feeble neck in his hands, leaning closer to her as I got closer. Somehow they knew of my connection to Blake because I backed down a bit, still snarling. Blake woke up and panicked at the hand that was crushing her breathing, the I closed my eyes. When I realized that I had lost before I real battle had began, I felt my shoulders slump.

"Good boy," the male by the door snickered. Then he turned the female, who looked extremely uncomfortable. "You see? I told you he would fall for it."

At I first I didn't get what he meant, but I didn't really have time to think about it. There was a swing of a hand, a slight pain on my head, but then blackness swirled around me.

And when I woke up, not knowing how they were restraining me or where I was, I saw Blake's body crumpled on the floor.

And then I died inside as I figured out that when she didn't move that she was dead, drained of blood.

And I hadn't be able to protect her.

Then a final thought passed through my head before I completely lost my sanity: I was now completely and utterly _alone_.

**This chapter was short, but I got a lot in it. I hope you don't hate me after this one, but I'm tired of happy endings. In this story, the real world comes crashing down, showing Logan how harsh love can be. **


	27. Chapter 26

26.

For a guy-no scratch that. For a vampire who's lost his mind, I think I was still able to think clearly. I mean seeing Blake on the floor in front of me was taunting. I saw her lifeless cheeks, her bruised arms, and those scratch marks on her neck, showing that not only was she drunk from but she didn't struggle. They must have said they would kill me if she struggled, only to end up killing her. But it didn't matter to me how she died. All I knew now was that my world, my life, my everything was dead, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I wasn't a witch, though I attempted to be one for a moment. Was that only a day or so ago? There was no spell I could give to her to wake her from the dead. Even if I did I wasn't powerful enough to save her, and it would wind up killing me too. I didn't have a special gift to make her open her eyes, hell I didn't even have a gift to help me get out of here!

But I was lost. I had no idea who to be without her, what to do or what to see. I tried to force this to all go away, but I wasn't dreaming, and Blake was dead. I sat in the corner and hugged my knees to my chest, wondering why the world didn't just swallow me hole. I wanted to die. I wanted to be with Blake, but the first time I attempted to kill myself, they stopped me by knocking me out again. They said they needed me alive.

Where we were going I had no clue. I could tell I was on some sort of plane, but they were smart enough to keep me away from anything that I could get my hands on to make the plane crash. I was in a large cage, large enough for me to spread my wings out and relax, but there was no way I was going to. Seeing them reminded me of what happened only a night before. How B-_she_ (I cant think her name anymore)she had patched them up to heal on their own.

A door opened and glared at the person walking in, but it wasn't who I expected. Lily strode in with her graceful dancer's walk, grabbed _her_ dead body and dragged her away.

I jumped at the cage, snarling, trying to get through. How dare they touch her. Didn't they know how much it hurt me to see her, but for them to take her away from me? But once my hands hit the bars, I was shot off the in other direction. My hands were singed from the electric wire and my hands were smoking, but all I could do was growl as Lily dragged her body away.

I should have known she was in on this. I should have seen the signs, but now that I think back to it, I couldn't believe that I missed it all. The eerie feeling that someone was watching me as I fell asleep in the woods. The drinks that came to Amanda and I when no one ordered anything, how we didn't catch that. The pit in my stomach that my days with Blake were numbered. The feeling of being tracked when I slept in my own room. Being attacked by a werewolf and vampire to tire me from the real thing the next day. I missed it all and now Blake had to pay the price from it.

Ouch.

I grasped my chest, feeling like it was on fire. This was the pain I had been dealing with for the last couple of hours, ever since I saw Blake's dead body. I felt like someone has just caught me on fire, slowly, and did so they could watch me burn like they had nothing else better to do. My breathing was labored, trying to get through this pain that was almost killing me, barely but it wasn't enough. I'm too strong for my own good, and now that I looked at these bars, I realized the design was my idea when I still lived in Italy.

Bingo. That was where they were taking me. Somehow, probably through Lily and Chris, whom I just now decided only came home with me because they wanted to exploit me for something, they found out about Blake knowing and now they'd killed her and were bringing me home for proper punishment. My life meant more than a humans so that's why they hadn't killed me yet either. And the fact that I was some type of royalty to my people? Well that only made matters worse.

So I was on my way home, the place I left only a few months ago after they'd agreed to remove my soul. Realization hit me again like a brick wall.

That was the punishment, I was sure. So that they're favorite son didn't misbehave or fall in love with the "infidels". So I wouldn't feel sorry for them and run off. So I'd drink from them again and we would be one big happy family like normal. And the worst part was that part of me wanted it, but the other shied away from being a blood thirsty monster. Why did it have to be with way? But really, I already am. Thought I didn't really kill Blake, but I might as well have drunk from her myself. The guilt I feel would make you think that.

I mean, you may not see it right now, but everything I say is coated with so much pain. So much that you're not able to really understand what I'm going through. It hurts so badly, that I just want to give up, but they won't let me! I just want to disappear and hide for the rest of my life. And the worst part of it is, I can't make it lessen or even go away. By not thinking her name, I felt bad because I should live in her memory, so then it hurt. And then by thinking her name it hurts too.

I just can't win with females!

Why did it have to be her? Why did I need to fall so desperately in love? How come I couldn't have just ignored her like in the beginning and hot worry about how much she liked my hair? Why did she have to be so damn alluring with her breathtaking smile, her shiny hair (I sound like a dork don't I?), her laugh, her voice, her smell, the way she dressed, how she kissed me, how she made love to me…

I broke down in tears.

I'm not exactly sure how long I just sat in the corner, wings shielding me from the light, crying. I do know that if someone had collected my tears, they could have saved Africa from its drought. I know I must sound like a wimp and your probably thinking "Just get over it, Logan, its just one girl" but you don't get it. It wasn't just some girl. Like I said in my little preface. This girl changed how I looked at things, she made me feel like I could fly (Figure of speech), this girl made me feel alive. And trust me, I've felt like I was dead for some time, but it was nothing to compared to how I feel now.

To know that I was the reason of her death…it made me angry. Angry at them, and angry at myself. Why didn't I just leave her alone! She would be alive!

"Why?" I muttered to myself, barely aware that I said them aloud. I looked at my hands that were already healed from the burn that would have been dangerous to a human.

For a moment I didn't even know who I was. Like I said, I had lost my mind. I couldn't remember my name or why I was here, or who I really was. I forgot I was a vampire, I forgot all my memories as a child, I forgot I had a soul and that I was a blood thirsty monster. I forgot everything as my mind went blank. All but one thing.

I only remembered Blake, I picked out some memories from her, ones that I liked. Our first kiss, the first time I saw her, some of her first words to me.

"_I'm Blake by the way."_

"_Am I supposed to care who you are?"_

The words that rang in my head made me flinch.

The first time she came to my house.

"_Not to be rude, but why are you here?"_

"' _Not to be rude'. You've been rude to me ever since I saw you."_

Then at her place.

"_Got to hell!"_ then she slammed the door right in my face.

Yeah it hurt, seeing how frustrated she was with me and how much pain I caused her, but hearing her say those four words made it all worth while.

"_I love you too, Logan."_

I can still hear them in my mind, each sound she made, her trilling laugh. I could hear it all, but I would never again. Her soft skin, I can't touch. Her warm breath, I can't smell. Her overwhelming scent, I can't ever get high off it again. Her smile, I would never see it. And truth be told, I don't think I would ever smile again. It hurt too much. Talk about depression.

The plane landed with a jolt, sending me flying forward right into the electric bars. Don't you just love the smell of burning flesh? Yeah, no.

The door opened again. Lily and Christoffles put restraints on me, but I didn't want to fight. There was nothing to fight for. My life? Yeah right. I wanted to die, but they wouldn't let me. He said they wanted me alive, but for what? To torture me?

Nothing would compare to the pain I was feeling because of Blake's death.

I winced at the thought like always.

I remembered thinking about what it would feel like to lose Blake, the first time I really talked with Amanda. I couldn't even think about it, and back then, I knew it wouldn't have been the same as experiencing it. God I miss her. I want to hold her again. I want to kiss her and taste her mouth, her skin, her lips. I wanted everything about her, but now she was gone. I-

I felt the hair on my neck stand up as someone passed me. I couldn't palace the scent because they masked it with this stuff, and I didn't recognize the figure, I but knew I've seen that person some where. It startled me, but I couldn't do anything.

I slumped as they pushed me through the doors and knocked me out.

I was engulfed in darkness.


	28. Chapter 27

27.

I was going to _kill_ my father.

I was going to set him afire and when he writhed in excruciating pain and torment (not to mention agony), I was just going to sit and laugh. And then when he begged for mercy, I was just going to look into his black, hard eyes, and laugh some more, watching every movement of torture with a smile plastered on my lips. Nothing would please me more than to see my father die by my own hands, to be the one who takes it away like the monster I was.

Was, not am.

That was going to have to wait until I was rid of these god forsaken chains around my arms, keeping me here in this tall tower. Very cliché, I know, but it's all about the show for him. It always has been.

But how I got myself into these messes was beyond me. I tried to live like a normal kid-going to school, participating in sports, that sort of thing. But one way or another I get sucked back into my old past that I keep running from, and I have to go through it all over again.

I thought I had it right this time, I truly did. I kept my distance from the humans, I didn't kill for fun, and I didn't attract any attention. Then came _her_. She came into my life like a wrecking ball, destroying everything I once held in order, only to find out it was all screwed up anyway. I didn't mean to fall in love, I swear, but once you fall, well then everything's all out the window. Literally. Now I had to learn the hard way that the first one really was the worst one.

But that wasn't the only reason I was trapped here in Italy. I began to trust my family again. I began to trust my old life. I lived with my sister, Lily and my best friend, Christoffles. I thought they would help, and by the looks of it at first, they did. Lily gave me advice for Blake and Christoffles gave me someone to talk to when I wouldn't dare speak about it to Lily. It was a guy thing. Girls were just too sensitive, so breakable.

I was wrong.

Here I figured out everything once I sat in front of my family. Lily and Chris were both against me, probably Amanda too but I killed her before she could do any real damage. They tracked me, my father sent spies and once they were sure I had spilled the beans to a human, they killed her and took me. Now I might have said this before, all about their tricks, but its not all clicking for me. How this all went down in the short months I had stayed in one place was beyond me. How did my life turn so quickly when everything was going so right?

This was why I liked to be alone, believe it or not. Something always happened to anyone I got close to. Scott, Blake, Amanda, and Dana, the girl I killed when I first got my soul. I mean is it just me, the luck I have, or does my family plan this? If I have some small slice of happiness they have to just rip it out of my hands. That's what it seems like to me.

Then, get this, as I stood in front of my family, a person came in whom I thought to be dead. He took his seat next to my father, an angry smile on his face.

Scott was alive.

At first I had no idea what to say. I just stared at him, then watched his face soften as I looked at him in horror. I could see he didn't want to hurt me or that he was sorry for lying, but I didn't want to hear it. They all lied to me, all to watch me suffer and kill the girl I loved. No, I still love her, not even death could change that. I just wish they would get on with this.

Again, I was struck with the realization of his plan. Darius wanted it this way all along. He wanted to make me so angry and sad, that I would be weak enough to confide in Blake. So he faked the death of Scott, my favorite brother, and not even Lily told me he was alive. And I thought my sister and my best friend would have at least let me in on the plan. Maybe Blake would still be alive. Maybe not.

I surveyed the marble room, trying to find some way out, but I knew there was none, I made the renovations myself when I was last here. There was no escape from this hell hole and I was pretty sure I was going to die. The good side of me anyway, the part of me I liked, the part that Blake fell in love with.

Sadly, they just wanted to placate me and taunt me with the truth.

"Take him to his cell." my father and Darius ordered in the same tone. I narrowed my eyes at them. How had Darius, sweet and kind Darius, become so hard like my father?

I searched for my mother and when I found her I saw that she wasn't looking at me. I knew why. When I was a kid I could always get what I wanted by just pleading soundlessly to her with my black eyes. She always caved. Now she won't even look at her son, knowing that she would do anything I asked her to. It hurts when even your mother abandons you in your greatest time of need.

The guards around me, grabbed my arms and began to shove me toward the door.

"Screw you! Screw all of you! You monsters! You killed her! I-"

What's with the knocking me out? I mean really, there are better ways to get me to be quiet, you didn't have to hit me. I bet my head had like these huge sores on it form how many times I've been hit in one day.

I woke up with my head on the ground. I groaned and cracked some of my bones as I stretched. Right under me was a pool of my blood from my head, but when I touched it, it was already healed and everything. I shied away from it, not wanting to see my reflection in the black pool of death. that's a little melodramatic don't you think? No? I didn't think so.

I looked at my bruised arms and burnt hands, and then inspected the thick chains I had made. The very things no one could escape. I forget how I made them, but I knew I made them with such precision that I could only make them one at a time. I only made five before I left. I had no clue how many of them were left. Maybe all of them, but this was even had my initials graved into them. Very funny. They all just think they're so funny. Well screw them. I don't need them, not now, not ever. End of story.

I looked out the window and made my way over to it. The bars were the same electric thing on the boat but I was able to peer through them without hurting myself again. Outside were soaring demons like me. On the ground were kids playing and laughing, learning to fight with each other, some feasting on scared humans. I cringed at the scream that came form the girl. I cringed from how it reminded me of Blake.

After internally kicking myself from looking outside at the world I once belonged to, I promised myself I would never look out there again. I didn't need to see all the horror and yet how everyone had such a great time. Was it really so bad for me to join them? Is it really so bad to not have a soul? I wouldn't be hurting me, just innocent humans. But that's our life style. We were made to eat them and they were made to eat.

For a second I pictured my life back to the way it was. Being normal with my family, no secrets, no pain, no regret. Feeding on countless humans to stay alive and flying with my friends and fight with Alex like I used to. Taking my place as the rightful first born and bonding with Darius like I used to. Pulling pranks with Terry, racing with Lily, showing Scott who's boss, and being with Christopher day in and day out. It all didn't seem to bad not that I really thought about it. My life would be normal. For a demon anyway. Maybe I would even fall in love again. Not like with Blake in any way, of course not. But we would love and have children of our own and keep the population going.

But even as I tried to picture all of that, it all shattered when I knew I couldn't be any of those things without Blake by my side.

I sighed and threw my head against the wall, making a few pebbles fall, but I hardly noticed. For the first time in a while, since Blake was able to keep my mind off it, I felt the raging effects of blood lust. My throat was on fire, and now that I could think about it, the fire I felt in my chest was doubled from heart ache and thirst. I was so _thirsty_. I needed something to drink, but there was nothing around but some rats.

_Here goes nothing_, I thought as I leaped at one. I spat it out at once when the blood hit my tongue. Thirsty or not, I think I'd rather live with starvation that taste the reeking blood of a rat. It was almost as bad as a werewolf's.

The metal door to the cell, creaked as it was pushed open from the outside. Scott came in with a tray of rotten meat by the looks of it. He let it drop to the ground and it clattered when it hit the metal floor. He grimaced at my poor state and opened his mouth to say something.

"It was just a human." he told me sadly.

"Her name was Blake." I growled harshly. "And she was my everything."

He shook his head and left the room.

Once I was sure he was gone, I swallowed the meal hole. It was rotten. I was right, but it was so much better than rats. I licked the blood from my fingers, feeling the fire in my throat extinguished, but the fire in my heart raged harder than ever. I felt like it was going to consume me, but instead it left me to live through the pain.

I lay back on my stone bed, and stared at the ceiling. There was nothing to this room other than metal, stone, and these thick iron chains that locked me here for now. Maybe forever if they chose to.

I memorized the room over and over again, feeling claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on me. Before I could start to hyperventilate, the door opened once more. _Oh what do they want now?_ I about shouted that at them, but I held my tongue, knowing it would get me in some big trouble. Bigger trouble more like it.

"Your father would like to see you." the burly guard said with a thick Australian accent.

"Well he can go to hell. I'm not moving."

He smiled. "Your father said you might say that." he held up a club.

I got up at once, rubbing my head. I wasn't afraid of pain, I was just tired of feeling weak when they knocked me out. I walked behind him and made my way down the stairs, and into the same white marble room. In each seat sat my family and some other guests that I guessed wanted to see the trial of Logan Masters.

"Well, what are you waiting for, pops? Are you gonna kill me or not?" I spoke with such a teenage tone.

There was an angry shout form Darius. "You'll treat him with respect or so help me-" my father raised a hand to stop him.

"It's quite alright, son. Logan hasn't been following the rules he used to obey so well." I hated that. I hated how he spoke so calmly. I just wanted him to scream and yell and order my death, so I could be with Blake in heaven or hell.

"We're waiting for someone to join us." he said, looking at the doors, as if expecting that person to come through.

I spat on the floor. "What? There are _more_ people that you've brainwashed? Oh by all means lets wait for them to come." I rolled my eyes.

"Mind your manners, boy."

I shut my mouth.

I heard the doors open behind me.

"Oh here she is." he spoke fondly.

"Sorry I'm late. I had some…things to finish up." said a voice that I knew all too well, but for some reason I didn't recognize at that point.

I turned to looked at her, wondering who in the hell was stupid enough to fall for my father's words. What the…?

"Blake?"

THE END

**Big cliffy, I know and I'm sorry. Look for the next installment in this series "HeartBreak Warfare" in a few weeks. With love, goodbye, for now at least. -Kaitlyn Renea**


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